Bacholerette Party Etiquette?

Question

I was wondering how much you are supposed to spend on the bacholerette party. Not an amount because it varies but what you are expected to pay for. We are going on a bacholerette party weekend for the Bride To Be. We have to book a hotel room, the bride is going to the Day Spa which I am not going to and neither are some of the other girls. About 1/2 are and 1/2 are not. The Maid of Honor told us we are expected to pay for her part (the Brides) portion of the room which I am not staying in, her food and drinks, Day Spa which is $200.00, The Night Club, cocktails in the nightclub, Party Favors and games she is buying as well as bring a Large bottle of alcohol and a bottle of wine for 1 Night? Thank You

Answer 1

It is the tradition that the group pays for the bride's portion, but this sounds like it is really going to be expensive.
It is figured like this. How much does everything cost, divided by the number of people attending, then that amount is divied up between everyone, including the person in charge of the affair. And then everyone pays for their own share. So, if the bill is $100, and there are ten people attending, the bride's portion is $10, and that gets divvied up 9 ways, so it will cost you $10 for your portion, and $1 and change for your share of the bride's.
Here's my opinion of the hotel room: if you are staying at the hotel, and participating in the party in that room, and the room was booked for the party, not the wedding, you help pay for HER part of the room. If others ARE staying in it, they share in the cost, too, and so does everyone else attending the party. If the room was booked, for example, the three days before the wedding, and that is the room she will sleep in the night before the wedding, and prepare for the wedding in, you do not pay, nor does anyone else, except the father of the bride.
Is the cost of the spa $200 per person? Wow. And yes, you would pay your own bill, and divide the bride's costs between you all, including the tip.
And you are expected to go to at least one shower, gift in hand, and the wedding, gift in hand, and the house warming, gift in hand, and probably attended a engagement party and had to buy a gift, and had to buy appropriate outfits to wear for each, plus transportation.. I think weddings are getting out of hand, way to expensive. I wonder if people see the fancy celebrity/rich people weddings on TV, and think they have to have that, too.
A good hostess would know how much the people invited are able to spend, and not ask for more. It is nice to have a party, but dunning people for something that is a luxury, that the bride maybe could not afford to purchase herself is pushing the limits of friendship. My suggestion: is the bride a loving, caring, generous soul, who gives her life to other people, and really deserves a day just for her? Or is this just a way to get someone else to pay for a spa? Either way, you are perfectly within the rules of etiquette to decline the invitation, especially if option 2 is the case. And maybe some folks should talk to the hostess about what you are willing to pay for.

Answer 2

You should definitely say something to the Maid of Honour about how much people are paying towards things. I think its whoever organised the activities responsibility to pay for a large portion of it.
Also, is the money you are putting towards the bachelorette party, going to be in lieu of a wedding present, or do you have to fork out for that as well? These days weddings are become an expensive business. Not just for the Bride and Groom!
I think if everyone who is invited to the party puts a little money towards the alcohol and food and possibly a little for the nightclub, thats more than generous.

Answer 3

i do not imagine she must have one. Bachelorette activities are for women those who're nonetheless unmarried, she isn't. She also would not have a bath or some thing like that. also, redo or do-over weddings are extremely frowned upon. you've already had an entire wedding ceremony ceremony (regardless of ways enormous or small it develop into, or the position it develop into) in the different case your marriage would not be legal. a wedding ceremony is a legal ceremony for 2 unmarried people to develop into married it calls for a pair, a valid marriage license, a approved officiant, and a million-2 witnesses of legal age. you won't be able to get any better married than you already are. no matter if you marry in a courthouse, magistrate, outdoor, church, coastline, and so on you're basically as married. regardless of how or why you receive married, you made the decision to get married that way. you may want to elect to contemplate calling it a vow renewal ceremony when you consider that that it develop into that's or anniversary party. Vow renewal ceremonies will be very tastefully finished, notwithstanding they're oftentimes finished after a milestone anniversary, 2 years isn't a milestone. minimum of 10 years, yet maximum are finished after 20+.

Answer 4

I from the old school. The Bride's Maids are to pay for some of the stuff. But, who ever is having the party is to pick-up most of it.The Maid of Honor,sounds like she wants everyone to pay for not only the Bride,but her stuff too. If you don't want to pay for most of this, I would come-up with some reason not to go. The Maid of Honor is to pay for Party favors and games .

Answer 5

I had a friend who actually had to break it to the bride that she could not even be in her wedding, as she could not AFFORD it!!
The dresses were going to be like 400. the shoes, another hundred, the shower was going to require her to kick in another 3oo, and they hadn't even got to the bachelorette party yet. Its so rude and presumptious of these brides to expect so much from people. THe point is to have your friends stand by you at your wedding, not go broke.

Answer 6

Everyone should pay their fair share. If you are staying in the room then you pay more than someone not staying. Everyone should split evenly whatever the brides total would be.

Answer 7

YOU set the rules. Bottom line. You pay for things if you want to, if not then don't. It's that simple.