should i make my 3year old go to preschool?

Question

ive been trying to get my 3year old into preschool since september, she terrified, i know thats normal, but we're on our 2nd month and things havent gotten easier,should i just wait until next year? shes never been left with anyone, just my mother, is socializing that important or should i just give it another year?

Answer 1

I don't think you should make her go. I think you will teach her wonderful things by respecting her preferences. She's had a nice life being with you and your mom and she likes it that way. It's actually normal and in accordance with child development.

Preschools don't really make sense because children her age and still older learn best in the context of a one on one relationship, that with their primary caregiver. The things kids are learning at her age are social, but you learn them from someone socially skilled.

You can get indoctrinated, molded, pushed into conformity, submission, order by going to school, by hanging out with one or two authority figures and a bunch of people your age.

But the way you get socialized, that is, taught the customs, mores, values, social interaction style is by being with an adult who knows those things and is focused on you. So, socializing is not important - if she was a highly social girl, she would have embraced it. She has not. I urge you to respect her.

When our son was 3, lots of people told us we shouldn't let our child out of classes because he would learn to cop out, not follow through. But, how could this be true when he was wanting to stop things he HAD NOT CHOSEN? Today, he's a teenager and he follows through like a laser on his projects, including music, history, writing, chores, theatre. Children don't learn stick-to-it-iveness by being compelled to bend to their parents' will.

Your daughter knows what she wants and needs. Children under 5 don't need hours a day with other children. It doesn't help them educationally, socially, or even health-wise.

Answer 2

Socialization is important to a child, but if she's that terrified of going to preschool then maybe wait it out till next year. But in the meantime, start having little playdates with other kids, get her used to being around other kids gradually. Or you could think of putting her in a half day preschool. From like 8am-12noon. Sometimes they even have just a few days a week instead of 4-5 days a week. My boys go to Headstart and they go from 8am-2pm. They love it, but then again I haven't experienced the problem that you are describing. Use your gut feeling, if you feel that it's too much for her right now, find a way to incorporate it gradually, at a pace she is comfortable with. Hope this helps. And good luck.

Answer 3

What good is giving it another year if has no experience being around other children her age?

I feel that you should start with setting up play dates with some of your friends children and try to take her places where there are other children her age around like to the park, story time at the library.

Every child is different, she may need to go a bit slower, but do all of these things before preschool so that the experience wont be a traumatic one for her. You never know, she may get excited about going to preschool! Good luck with everything!

Answer 4

If you make the child go, it will just make the child fearful of all situations when she can't be with mom or granma.

However, socializing with other kids her age is very important in the growth and development.

My children were abused at a sitters house, and my son is absoultly terrified of being left with anyone but me. And this was almost two years ago. We recently put my daughter in preschool and are hoping that by him going with me everyday and saying by to sissy and then going back with me to get her will help ease him into it when he goes next year. but so far everyday he cries because he thinks I am leaving him there also.

My suggestion would be, talk with the teachers and see what you can do to make the adjustment better. Maybe have your mom and you take turns dropping her off and going to pick her up. make sure you are talking to her about it on her level of understanding.

Make sure you are keeping your composer as well if she see's you upset or tearfull then it will only make it worse on her.

Good luck with this.

Answer 5

Maybe you cans start off by going with her and staying in the class for a few days. Have you tried that? It worked for my brother when he started going to preschool. If you have, I would just wait another year. Try just going to smaller groups like parents as teachers, they are good. But, starting off small would be the best idea. I have a year untill my son is old enough, but I am sure he will have the same problem. I am a stay at home mom, and I know he will hate it if I am not with him, but I can't wait. lol

Answer 6

So have you talked with the other parents in her group. My grandson is a manipulator (no, I'm not imagining this) and has given and still gives us a run for our money in an effort to control just about any situation that seems to be something we want to occur, from eating, to going to bed, to going to school, to getting ready to go to school, to washing face and brushing his teeth. If you give in, the "problem" will continue. Be matter-a-fact about what is going to happen--eating (for example), and if it doesn't occur, there won't be any movies, or whatever is important to the child at the moment. Socializing is important, plus she needs to know a lot by the time her time comes to start kindergarten. So is she a young 3 or an old 3. If other children at the school seem happy and unafraid and the fight is too much, then don't send her. But sooner or later she has to realize that she's not in charge, regardless of how obnoxious she is.

Answer 7

It could be the pre-school. Try to find another pre-school that will accept three year old. Once your daughter is there, try to arrange play dates with some of the kids at the school. The more time she spends with other kids the better she will learn to relate to other children. She may not like it because it isn't what she is used to, but you don't want her first experiences around other children to be Kindergarten or Pre-K even. Socialization is important for children at any age. They learn faster when they are able to socialize and be with other children even if they do not play together.

Answer 8

My youngest son was 3 when he started preschool. He was also terrified. The teacher suggested that I laminate a picture of our family for him to have with him as a safety net for the morning. I also would walk him to the class at first and then go a little less farther every couple of days. After a couple of weeks, he was fine and loved preschool.

Answer 9

Actually I went thru the same thing with my little boy....dad or I went with him for a month and he refused without us. We decided he was emotionally not ready and that was O.K. When it came time for kindergarten I just knew it would be horrible again but it wasn't not at all....he walked in and didn't look back. Some children just aren't ready at 3 and that's O.K. in my book. Our son is now a Junior in high school and has gotten A's and B's all the way thru and is very well rounded. Follow your heart is what I say, only you know your child. Good Luck!

Answer 10

well, if she is terrifid i think it would be too soon for her to start school. I started my daughter just this year (june in the philippines) and she was 4 1/2. I see some her classmates that were 3 years old and have stopped school last september. That first day of school was like end of the world. children crying here and there. But my daughter understood enough and even tried to encourage her other classmates to go to class with her.

there is no harm in giving it another year. right now you can start her in play groups and stay out of her sight for a couple of hours and see how she reacts. Start reading her books about school and watch that blue's clues school special (the one with periwinkle). ^_^ Teach her how school can be so much fun, with new friends to play with.

good luck.

Try to watch her at her first day. ^_^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Ro8-1zt20