Who am i inside?

Question

10years ago i was harrased for 6 year by the kids at my catholic school. I was very depressed, but i got help for it. now i am even worse. I have been having these dreams for the past 10years and nothing can get rid of them. They are about this girl who loses her father and goes around killing people, even her sister whom she loves. She does this because it was said that she would. I am seeing a counsler and on prozac but nothing seems to help. Any suggestions.

Answer 1

so what did your counselor say when you told him/her? I'd say the meds are not working for you and you should try something else.

Answer 2

I'm bipolar, so any advice I'm giving, I'm doing the same thing myself. Depending on how long you've been seeing your therapist, you may decide to change therapists. If this one can't help you, get a new one. Another thing to do is depending on how long you've been on Prozac you may want to try a different anti-depressant. I've been on Prozac, and I'm currently on Wellbutrin. The final thing I can offer is if you do some research online read up on different diagnosises. You could be clinically depressed and borderline, or histrionic, (those are only examples!). If you have something going along with your depression that could make things worse, and if it's discovered and treated properly, it will change everything for the better! Try keeping a dream journal. I know my mom used to have horrible dreams and having the notebook next to the bed helped her with her therapy, and eventually she stopped having the nightmares. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you should really try to get involved in group activities and try and so a lot of socializing. That could help with the depression as well as get you making friends and developing a support group. As far as the dream, I do not think it makes you crazy or anything, I think it could just be an image of other things that have happened in your life. I think it is good to stay talking with your councellor, and just slowly work on things. Good luck!

Answer 4

sounds to me like there is some deep seated residual stuff going on inside... I think working with a therapist who understands trauma could be helpful... once you can exorcise the effects of the past, you could walk into tomorrow with less emotional Samsonite...

stupid words and harrassing actions by bullies can live on inside of us for years... personally, while I wouldn't relish particularly getting smacked or beaten up, I'd sooner that then words... words somehow seem to leave an even longer lasting imprint deep inside...

trauma work could help you come to terms with it and relegate it to the past where it belongs...

I hope you find what you need to heal... best wishes

Answer 5

You remind me of myself when I was a child. I wish you courage to face your inner demons, patience, hope, and faith.

Get a hold of a copy of Love is Letting go of Fear, by Louis Jampolsky. Also, Erich Fromme's The Art of Loving.

You will be all right, IF you keep on trying to get well. Attitude is very important, and it is up to you. I've heard a story of two police in a drug bust that went bad. One of them had no protective vest. He took three large caliber slugs to the centre of his chest. His doctor told him he wouldn't live, but he did.

Another policeman got a grazing wound, only flesh wound on his upper left arm. He panick'd, and told a comrade he was going to die. Well, he did die, though with a wound like that he should have lived.

So this depends on you. Yes, it was wrong of those kids to be mean to you. But now you're here, and it's on you if you want to survive. Do you?

I'll tell you that as part of my recovery, I went back and contacted every one of those who was mean to me, just to communicate to them what they did and how I felt about it. I was surprised to see that most of them didn't even realize what they were doing. Some of them have had trouble in their lives; I can't help but suspect that what goes around, comes around. So buck up, and pull yourself together. Doctors can help, Prozac can help, but in the long run, it's up to you, if you want to come out fighting to win, or let your inner demons get the best of you.

Answer 6

Prozac makes some people homocidal. All psychiatric drugs make you have weird dreams. Check out prozac survivor websites on google.

Answer 7

Interesting dreams...

Relax, you're not the next Jason, you're not gonna do Texas Chainsaw Massacres.

I'd love to find a person who does dream interpretation to talk to you! I'm thinking that your subconscious is trying to send you messages in your dream. I'm thinking that the person (no you? hmm....) who does the killing all represent things, issues, feelings.

Gosh, would love to know more....

Anyway, I gave you a few links to try to see if anything might fit.

Answer 8

Seems like an evil force has entered your mind. Sleep with a cross or Bible verse at night.
Put garlic under your bed.
U dont need a counseler, all u need is to think positive, pray to God and these evil forces will back off.
Say in your mind...REBUKE YE DEVIL BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS...every time u have evil thoughts.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

I was depressed for five years, went to different doctors, took a bunch of different meds, all to no avail. Finally, after trying to do myself in, I found a way out. Here's my story if you're interested:
http://www.geocities.com/seabulls69/AntidepressantThatWorks.html

Answer 10

I think the best way to do it is to fill your time with friends that really care about you and spending time doing new things.