Did I do the right thing? What would you have done?

Question

Last night I went to my sister's house and smelt marjauana and saw a bong sitting in the living room. She has lied to our family repeatadly about not doing drugs and not allowing drugs in her home. She is twenty one years old is living with her boyfriend who is also the father of her seven month old. What I saw was him, his brother, another guy I didn't know and their son (was sitting on her boyfriends lap) in the living room and when his brother opened to door he shut it again (not all the way) when he realized it was me and they moved the paraphnalia so that I couldn't see it, but I still smelt it. I didn't say anything and didn't let on that I saw anything, but after I left I filed a report. My sister is very angry with me, they searched her home and may be taking away her child. I thought that I was doing the right thing but now I feel tarrible and she and her boyfriend are saying that they no longer want anything to do with our family (especially me) but also our mom.

I did see it before he "shut" the door. Now they are trying to rationalize it like it isn't wrong and trying to make me out to be a bad parent to my three kids.

for those of you who think that I should have talked to her first, we have, my whole family has. She has sat in jail over the crap before. I just didn't say anything about it last night when I saw the bong, smelt the weed and saw my innocent nephew sitting in the middle of it. My sister also claims that they "just hit the bowl before going to bed" and that there is nothing wrong with doing it in their home with their child there.

The reason that my mom got involved is because I babysit their child and when I dropped him of tonight she was with me, she confronted them about it because she and my dad had a discussion with them last weekend about it.

I just reread what I wrote and I did leave out that she was there sitting in the room with them

Answer 1

I would have approached them first instead of reporting them for smoking weed! I think it was pretty extreme what you did. How are they as parents? I don't know the whole story so I can't judge. Not the route I would have taken.

Answer 2

Question. Was your sister there?
If not, you should have talked with your sister about what you saw.
If she was there, you did what you felt was in the best interest of the child. Anytime people know they are wrong, they will do anything they can to undermine you, to turn things around like you are worst then them.
If you are the one that filed a report, then why are they mad at the rest of the family? Maybe because other people are talking to them about the same thing. If so, then don't worry about what your sister and boyfriend are saying. Better for them to be upset with you now, then something awful happen to your nephew.
You hear all the time, about innocent children stumbling upon something, and getting hurt/overdosing on something they found.
If that happened, the court would want to know why no one reported them, for the sake of the child. If your sister is not doing drugs, like she says, then she will prove it and work hard to keep her child.
You did what you felt was best for your nephew.

Answer 3

I think you where trying to do what you thought was best. But it is not crack it's marjauana. I don't think anyone should do drugs so please don't take me wrong. But You might have wanted to thing about her child. Was the child not being taken care of the yes. but if her child had food warm place to sleep and clothes.The I think you but your nose in where it should have been. I have yet to meet a person lose everything in their live just because the smoke weed. If anything you want to eat and sleep. so maybe you should Have thought about that now this baby may be taken from it home and it family not knowing why.. Are you going to be the one to tell the child later that you are why he or she can be with the mom or dad.Or why they couldn't see them. You people need to think before you just jump. That is how family get lose.Now if it was hard drugs I would be all for it but it wasn't

Answer 4

Who was it that said they would take their child away? That is just something they told you. Sadly, there is not much they can do and there is probably nothing they will do to your sister and her boyfriend either.

Your sister has chosen her own path descructive as it may be, it is her life. Although you did do the right thing, it won't change anything. Some people are just out to destroy all the good things in their lives and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Now stop beating yourself up about this. It is not your fault. If she doesn't want anything to do with you or your mother it is out of her guilt over what she has done. It would have happened anyway so stop worrying about it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Your actions are a wonderful example of the brainwashing the Right Wing has done to the American people.
While I'm sure your heart was in the right place, you took action without bothering to learn or do research. If you had, you would have learned that there's probably nothing wrong with them smoking some pot in their own home, as long as they practiced moderation and weren't using other, harder drugs. As a result, depending upon which state you're in, you could have ruined an innocent family's life. And for what? To make yourself feel like you were in charge?
Frankly, you did a bad thing. If they ever forgive you for it, you should thank God for the rest of your days.

Answer 6

You did the right thing. It hurts like hell, but it was the right thing. They're going to say some awful things about you and it may go on for a long time.

Too bad. Parents do not have illegal drugs in the home when there are children there. They're caught and they know it and they're just trying to manipulate you by threats.

Let them go. Most likely they will learn a big lesson some day and come back and be your family again.

Answer 7

I think you did the right thing, keep that child safe. Tell your sister to grow up and take responsibility to keep that child safe, healthy and happy. Drugs of any type is not the way to go. She'll have to grow up and get rid of the low-life, and then she will be back with the family that cares for her. I guess you just have to let her learn her lesson the hard way.

Answer 8

Nope. You were a narc and narcs are not cool.

You should have confronted her instead especially the fact that it was only marijuana and not dangerous drugs like meth or crack. Were they posing harm to the child or were there signs of abuse or neglect to their son? Then filing a report was justified. But, if they were just chilling watching TV while having the son on the dad's lap, then they have every right to be upset with you.

Answer 9

you did the right thing. good for you. so many turn their heads away and ignore it. you did the right thing. that child needs to be around adults that will be better parents.

i am very very proud of you. they are just mad because they did something wrong and illegal and put that child at risk.

it will be emotional for a long time. but dont ever regret it.

hopefully they will get some therapy/counseling. they need it.

hugs and kisses to you, for doing the right thing. standing up for what you believe in, and saving that child from harm.

thank you. God Bless.

Answer 10

you did do the right thing. don't let anyone guilt you. your sister knew what she was doing when she allowed that stuff into her home with her baby, and she knew what could happen if she was found out. your mom might be able to get temporary custody of the baby. usually social services likes to place with family. that way the situation is easier to handle for everyone. as far as anything else YOU DID THE RIGH THING. I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME. INFACT, I HAVE.

Answer 11

right now your sister may be upset, but you know it was for the better. talk to your family or close friends about how you feel to let out your worries. the child will be taken care of and will be safe. your sister will thank you. just give her some time.