My MIL is nuts ...
She is 100% Italian and wants to try to tell me how to do everything. Correction -- she DOES tell me how to do everything.
She wants to buy my daugther her "first" everything and wants to be there for every "first" moment, and when she isn't? She goes nuts.
I have tried telling my Husband that his Mom already had her shot at doing the whole "first" thing with her 2 kids. I have tried to explain that it is my turn and that these are some of the things that I have looked forward to as a Mother and that I feel as though I deserve them.
My Husband tells me that he can see where I am coming from but that he has never told his Mother "NO" and that he doesn't know where to begin.
I have been told that my MIL acts this way because HER MIL acted this way to her.
Is that my problem to deal with? I had nothing to do with that but for some reason, I am being expected to deal with those repercussions. Sometimes I want to tell her to butt the hell out. Help!
2006-10-18 13:16:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is how you say it. BACK OFF CRACKHEAD.
2006-10-18 13:18:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kayla T 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am the husband in your position SO many years ago. My wife could not tell her Mom no.
I drew very distinct lines around our marriage, home, 5 children.
I boldly set rules of courtesy within my home, with my children, and our decisions.
Mom in Law never listened, she disowned my wife and family, sisters and brother in laws backed my wife into a corner to decide between me and the kids and them...quote "blood is thicker than water"!
My wife and I are celebrating 23 years of marriage. Her family never has spoken to us in 18 years. Sad, but I believe looking back it was for the good. God knows what he is doing. I am Italian / Irish, my wife full blooded Italian.
My Italian mother never understood the lower boot Italian familia relationship. We are from the northern portion of Italy. My family open expressive tolerant. Her family quiet, stoic, secretive.
My family still enjoyes our relationship. My wife family are further divided from each other. Sad. Isolated
2006-10-18 20:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by Lives7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down with your husband there. Tell her that you appreciate her opiniun but that this is your house, your marriage, and your children. That you are going to run your house your way and that there will not be any discussion more about it. Also,that if she will not respect you and your rights that she will no longer be welcome in your home.
2006-10-18 20:24:44 · answer #3 · answered by hotmama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. I would sit her down and just politely tell her the way that you feel.
2006-10-18 20:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do just what I told my mother-in-law, "Back off Bit*h".
It worked.
2006-10-18 20:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by festus_porkchop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT'S HIS MOTHER - AND HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO TELL HER
TELL HIM TO GROW SOME AND TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT AND PUT HIS MOTHER ON NOTICE.
2006-10-18 20:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋