I have a two year old already. I love her so much and am so happy to have one healthy baby. But am so sad to lose the other! I saved the fetus when it came out and had it tested at the lab but the doctor said she couldn't tell me why the baby died! I want to know why though!
2006-10-18 12:36:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
My 2 year old was sad too. She used to rub my tummy and say I'm a big sister like Dora.
2006-10-18 13:21:10 · update #1
Honey I have been through this nine times. It never gets easier and the questioning is the worst part, sometiems you will feel jealous and angry at pregnant women too.
The baby was still your child, no matter how old it was.
You have every right to grieve and it may take you many months or years to feel healed.
For along time I felt it was abnormal to grieve a child so young, but after speaking with many other women who have experienced miscarraige I have learned that we all feel sad, depressed, and truly grief stricken.
Don't let anyone tell you to "Get over it." Explain that this was your child and that you are taking the time you need to grieve.
Prayres are with you for healing.
2006-10-18 12:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by chimomx3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is OK to be sad still, especially if you where more then just a few weeks along when you miscarried. If you spent weeks knowing you were pregnant, gearing up for this new baby and imagining your daughter as a big sister, it is really devastating for you to learn that you lost the baby. Maybe you are feeling guilty "why couldn't I keep this baby alive". But remember, in the vast majority of miscarriages there is a defect in the fetus that is not compatible with life, so the miscarriage happens for a good reason. I'm sorry that you don't have the closure that an exact diagnosis would give you. It's to be expected that you will always be at least a little sad, this was your child, don't let anyone say it wasn't a real baby yet or make you feel bad for "not getting over it". We moms get attached to our babies pretty early on, the pain will fade over time, let yourself greive.
2006-10-18 19:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by e_gladman@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I have had two miscarriages in the past year. At the start of the first one a very friendly emergency doctor explained to me that having a miscarriage can be a "good" thing, meaning that your body did not accept any imperfections, and that instead of your baby being born unwell, it stopped the process. It is also your body's way to protect itself from anything that may be dangerous, or harmful.
I know that no ones words can help, and even if it doesn't sound logical even now I am typing it, it gave me comfort, and it still does.
I hate it when people give you statistics with regards to miscarriage, because I am not a statistic, and no matter how many statistics people throw at me, it won't make me feel better.
My Dr even told me that they won't start looking into the problem I have with carrying full term, as they only start to worry after you had 3 miscarriages!
Good luck honey, only time will heal!
2006-10-18 20:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sad because your baby died! Don't be embarassed or worried. I had a miscarriage with my second, when my first was two, also. I didn't realize how depressed I was until I came out of the depression and looked back on that time in my life, and could see it with hind-sight. I snapped out of the depression when I got pregnant with another baby pretty quickly; I would recommend that same to you.
2006-10-18 20:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by toomanycommercials 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same things happen for no reason, you have lost a part of you and you may never get over it. I have had 3 miscarrages and I only got answers why, to one of them. I lost a part of me and my husband and its something I will always remember and never get over. But you must get past it for the others in your family. Treat your miscarrage as you would any death in your family, if you need to make a memorial then do so. What ever it takes to move on. My miscarrages were years ago but they seem like they were yesterday. I will never forget the feeling of the loss but you will learn to deal with it. I know your pain and your emptiness. Take one day at a time, and dont be afraid to try again when the time is right. Good Luck.....
2006-10-18 20:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably never know why it died but you can reassure yourself that there was something wrong or it wouldnt have happened. I know it doesnt make it any easier. It has to be very hard to lose a baby. it has never happened to me but i know the lose because i cant have kids and me and my husband wanted kids together so much. so i can kind of understand what you are going through. I hope your grief will get better and you can move on and try again when the time is right.
2006-10-18 19:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by sea_sher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your doctor should know WHY your baby died! Isn't that there job or something? And, I understand why you are feeling sad. My mom had a miscarriage and she was VERY upset. I feel really upset too. It was a choice of her dying, but the baby living, or the baby dying, and her living. She would have chose the baby living if me and my sis weren't alive. It would have been a boy too. Well, you are probably feeling upset because you just lost your OWN child. And, with my mom thing, IT WAS THE DOCTORS FAULT THAT SHE HAD A MISCARRIAGE! HE SHOULD BE FIRED! Sorry for yelling, but I am VERY upset too that my unborn brother died...You should find out somehow about how your baby died. I feel for you, I really do! Good luck with your 2 year old! Email Me!
2006-10-18 19:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, I would still be sad knowing that one of my children died and there is no explanation as to why. Even though you have your daughter already you did lose one of your babies. Sometimes it just happens and there is no explanation though. I mean think of SIDS. They have no idea why some babies just die out of no where. Perhaps it's a similar situation. Hope you start to feel better soon!
2006-10-18 20:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 in 4 pregnancies end in early miscarriage with no explaination as to why. give it to god and pray about it sweetie. it is a loss. i've suffered through 2 and wanted to know why as well. the first trimester is so fragile, they can rarely find out why. the second is different, they can usually tell you why. there may of been some kind of abnormalities. could've been a blighted ovum. the embryo could've attatched to the linning and just failed to develop. i am sorry darling.
2006-10-18 19:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Meli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. my friend was 7 months prenant and on june the 25th she went to the doctor because she has cancer and they did an ultrasound to see how the baby was doing and they could not hear the heart beat so they did a section on her.Two days ago they had to put her in a mental hospital because she had a nerves brack down
2006-10-18 19:52:32 · answer #10 · answered by mcdanieljoanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋