I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RACIST, but what's wrong with us?

Question

Yet again, another one of my boyfriends have left me for a white girl. This is the third time it's happened. I know lots of brothas say it's because we're know-it-alls or we're too money-hungry....but I don't think that's it....I'm just independent....I heard some brothas talking the other day and they were saying Asian girls are better than sistas because they have smaller feet....what's wrong with us, sistas?? Why are our brothas leaving us?

Answer 1

why don't black women understand this?

BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN HAVE TOO MUCH ATTITUDE.

Answer 2

Some brotha's out there are just stupid. They are just simply intimidated by an independent woman. BS reasons about sista's being know it all, drama queens, and etc. If they used common sense what's makes you think that no other race of women will not give you the same so-called problems......

Answer 3

This is a very touchy subject. I cannot understand how you feel because it has not happened to me. I am a married white male. I would say that the only thing wrong when a person does leave you for another person , and cops out with "you are a know-it-all" or "to money hungry", is that they are intimidated. Maybe they need to feel better about themselves when they hurt the one who is best for them. I do not take this as a racist remark. Keep on being independent and handle your business. You will find the one who is for you. I hope this is a decent way to put this.

Answer 4

Well not being of color I probably can't relate but I am a woman so maybe we can relate on that level.

You say you are independent... does this mean you can provide for yourself? If so you probably don't put up with a lot of ****. It is the ones that are dependent that put up with **** because they don't feel as if they can make it on their own. If you are independent then I can definately relate.

I don't know if it is a black or white thing but men in general will say they want an independent woman but always end up with one that is not. I think they like the feeling of being in control (not all men but many).

I have read articles about how independent black women are having trouble finding "good men" of their own race. I cannot relate but I do know it is hard to find a "good man" even for a white woman.

So maybe it isn't a white or black issue after all. Maybe good men are just hard to find period. I would suggest that you keep being the best woman you know how to be and when the right man comes along he will respect you for who you are. Maybe he isn't black....maybe he is.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I'm a black woman, and I understand what you mean. This has never happened to me but I see it a lot. I've talked to men who have or are dating outside of their race and most say it has to do with the way black women treat them. Men have to feel needed and they have to feel respected. These are 2 things that we have failed them on from what they tell me.

First off...those men left you for a white woman because they chose to. Don't blame yourself, but improve yourself for the next man. We could all use improvement because nobody is perfect. Think about all of the disagreements and agreements that you and your ex's got into. Write down things that you could have done differntely or things that could have been done to avoid the conflict. Work on you and the way you handle situations so the next time you get into it with your man, you can be cool as a breeze.

Next, define independent. A lot of black women think they have to SHOW a man they are independent by being loud, obnoxious and egotistical. This is a turn off to most men, so keep this in mind. What a lot of black women don't understand is that there is a such thing called QUIET STRENGTH. You don't have to show a man that you are independent to be independent. Keep that independent attitude on the low and do you.

White women have shown they know how to let their man be a man and take charge. We are still learning how to do this because a large number of us come from single parent households where our mothers took control of the household and that is all we know and seen growing up. This is where that "independent " attitude comes from. We didn't see our mom have a man in the household so we feel we don't need one. I have to see when a sistah says. "I don't need a man!" Well, I'm sorry to say this, but we do need a man. God wouldn't have put them on the earth if we didn't need them. A lot of white people come from 2 parent households where the father took control and the mother was submissive and this is what is attracting our men to white women. Not saying you have to be a doormat, but let a man take control of the household because that is what he was made to do. If he can't do it, he isn't the one for you. White women basically know how to let a man be a man and we don't.

What black women have to learn is that being somewhat submissive to their men ok and it doesn't show weakness, it shows that we need them. We also have to learn how to have quiet strength. It's ok to be independent but there is no need to express it, just show it without being overebearing. We also have to learn to grasp our negative attitudes and loud mouths. No one wants someone who is full of drama and negativity all the time. I think once we learn all of this, our men will gradually start loving us again. Besides, we do have the big booties that they can't resist (LOL)

You may want to try dating outside of your race too. Or if that is not an option, maybe start hanging around some white women that date our men. You may be able to pick up on some of the things they are doing to keep thier balck man happy. Whatever you deside, stay strong, keep your head up and keep trying. Your prince IS out there. Most importantly, learn from your past.

Answer 6

this might properly be a touch complicated question, yet i'm going to take a crack at it. first and ultimate, and as i'm greater suitable than advantageous you will agree, us "sistas" contain diverse attitudes and agendas. while there are some Black women who look for the "bling," there are various others who're purely finding for a guy (a Black one, to that end) to love. With that suggested, do no longer enable the stupid stereotypes which you have have been given overheard get to you because of the fact it rather is evident that they might't be utilized around the finished Black lady inhabitants. Secondly, confident, there are those cases the place you have Black adult males that, as quickly as back, stereotype particular races and have self belief that in the event that they align themselves with somebody of a definite race, the grass would be greener on the different edge.i understand this could be tricky for you--in all probability because of the fact it style of looks like it happens fairly frequently--yet that's no longer some thing that occurs around the board. (In different words, each and every now and then they leave us because of the fact of their stupid ideals and each now and then they only prefer to pass around.) I needless to say do no longer understand in the adventure that your final 3 breakups the place mere coincidences, yet i understand which you mustn't enable it deter you from relationship different Black adult males nor must you spot your self as--for loss of a greater advantageous term--"broken products". purely like many of the different committed and loving women in this worldwide (of all hues), we Black women are particular and deserve the terrific.

Answer 7

Why does something have to be wrong with us?! I think something is wrong with the guys you date. Personally, I've never had a guy leave me for a White girl. And to those jokers who say it's because we have too much attitude, you're wrong! The truth is most Black women are no different than White women. We all take alot of B.S. from our men. The only difference is if you act up with a Sista, you're going to hear about it. If you think that's attitude, it's because you know you're wrong and can't stand to be confronted with the truth. Besides, I've seen some of your previous postings and know you're a racist and have never dated a Black woman, Mystery Guest, so please only make commentary about what you know, not what you're racist mind assumes!

Answer 8

Well, for one your english is that of someone who lives on the street. Granted you have street smarts, but that really isn't the kind of intelligent conversation thats used in business. Business is where people are polite, and use correct english.

The white women would be a good stepping stone into a middle to upper class society where language skills would be appreciated.

You could start with be getting rid of the weird black names that whites can't even pronounce, much less spell correctly.

How many times has someone in a company who is in Human Resources seen a black persons name and then simply discard their application because they cannot pronounce it? HR's job is to keep people OUT, not IN a company.

My white neice just loves to run with "black rappers". Thats fine, thats her lifestyle choice. However the entire family is tired of posting her bail, her lies, her drug abuse and our family has essentially disowned her.

Personally? I've loved to make love with black women. I love the color contrast between my white skin and her dark skin, its both exotic and erotic.

So, why not find a white guy and use correct english skills, dress consertativly and not as some Wal Mart bag lady and work your way up in the world rather than stay on the street?

Once again, this is a lifestyle choice- and its YOUR choice.

Answer 9

NOT A DAMN THING!!!... if he doesnt wanna be with you.. then fine!!!... but dont think its just about being a "SISTA"... see that happens alot... you just may need to accept the fact that maybe you need to work on your relationship skills...communication.. or something!!!... see... this has never happened to me!!!... maybe its the type of man your dating... is he... a REAL "brotha"???... or a wanna be PREP?!?!?....

Answer 10

Oh Baby! I say bring the Sistas round! Every man wants a sista!

Answer 11

I'm white and I could say the same thing if I were a man. A lot of white women are attracted to black men. Here's my true opinion...I think a lot of white women are attracted to black men because a lot of black men are very confident. They handle themselves with confidence and that makes us feel safe and femanine. Black women are strong and assertive, and that intimidates or challenges black men, so they tend to be attracted to white women who like it when their men take charge. That's just my opinion...You see a lot of what I just explained by hanging out in the dance clubs or at school. I think basically it's all about attraction, not necessarily a race thing.