My fiance wants to have a big church wedding and invite all of his family and friends. I, on the other had, am extremely shy and that is the last thing I want, I would sooner elope down south somewhere and get married. How do we compromise?
2006-10-18 11:26:12 · 9 answers · asked by lalala 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How about a small wedding that is just for very close family and friends. Then you can have a large party later on to celebrate the event where you don't have to be the main focus.
2006-10-18 11:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words - destination wedding. You won't have a huge wedding but the really important people will be there. Just make sure you give people enough notice so they have time to save money, request off from work, etc.
Friends of our got married in Punta Cana last December, it cost 2 of us a bit less than $1500 to go for 4 nights. I didn't like Punta Cana, but more people could afford to got there than Mexico. We stayed at the Iberostar Dominicana; an all-inclusive resort on the beach. The beach was ok, the food was ok, the resort wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. 40 people total went, the wedding was beautiful. I know the bride worked with the resort to plan everything. One thing she didn't like was that everything in the Carribean is much more laid back than in Philadelphia and they work to their own schedule. The wedding came off without a hitch but she didn't know where she was actually getting married until we all got there. I have to say it was a beautiful wedding in columned courtyard with gorgeous tile. You can also get married on the beach, but the bride liked the courtyard better. A destination wedding is alot cheaper for the couple if they have it an all-inclusive resort because you don't have to pay for a reception, just make a reservation at one of their restaurants for everyone coming. We had a restaurant all to ourselves for the reception. This might be a time when you want to deal with a reputable travel agent at home, that way you know the resort you pick is reputable. Good luck.
2006-10-18 22:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a smaller wedding in a place where you both feel comfortable. Make a guest list, including everyone you would remotely consider inviting, and trim it down to the more important people. Write your own ceremony script (or enlist help of a friend of a relative) and make it "short and sweet". Come up with a list of things that are "the must". Focus on something that could make you both happy. Do both of you like good food? Make sure you pick a good caterer. Do you like dancing? Think of getting a great DJ. If he absolutely wants a huge wedding, make it up to him to do most of the planning; offer your help and input, but have him be the organizer. I think, he will quickly settle for a smaller wedding after he realizes what's involved!
2006-10-18 19:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about talking with him instead of us?
--Do you not want to celebrate with friends and family? What would eloping give you?
--Why does your fiance want a big wedding? Is that his dream?
You both need to come together and settle this now. Speak like adults and don't stay glued to what you want, but don't give in immediately.
A nice solution? Go to a different location and have just close and immediate family and friends there. You shouldn't have to worry about being shy if you are just with family and friends.
Story: I hate being the center of attention. After spending over a year planning, I wanted to give up. I didn't want that attention. But you know what? Everyone was there to celebrate US. It made it easier when I knew that it didn't matter if we screwed up. They love us.
2006-10-18 18:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Elope and then come back for a smashing reception! Everyone can be there to celebrate the wedding after you have become Husband and Wife and I would tend to think that you will feel less self-conscious about the attention once you are married.
Communication is the first step.
2006-10-18 20:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you have a small destination wedding with just family and close friends? Or a small candlelit ceremony with family and close friends? It's really not that bad on your wedding day - you may think that you are shy and don't want to be in front of all of those people, but believe me, when you're walking down that aisle, the only one you see is your husband-to-be and you forget anyone else is even there.....good luck!
2006-10-18 20:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about meeting somewhere in the middle? by that I mean, maybe have a church wedding, but have it smaller so that you don't feel so overwhelmed with people and your fiance can have his close friends and family there. Maybe around 50 or 100 people??
2006-10-18 20:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by laura_lou80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just have a smaller wedding! I know you think you are too shy to be in front of all those people...but trust me...you will not even notice they are there once the big day rolls around! There will be too much going on and you will be focused on your husband!
2006-10-18 18:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a meeting between the two of you and both sets of parents to hammer out something. There is always a compromise.
2006-10-19 07:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋