My daughter is 21 has a 2 yr daughter. The father has not kept a job longer than 6 months. He constantly lies to get out of work. One time he told his boss his daughter was having seizures and had to get to the hospital! Which thank God was not true. He lies to my daughter about money, family, work, drugs and women! She almost always has to check up on him to see if he's lying! Last year she finally moved back home with us because he had her so far in debt! He has not paid any child support. I had hoped she had learned her lesson. But she is slowly moving back in with him. I am so concerned about my daughter as well as my grand-daughter. My husband is no help - he keeps his head in the sand. Is there anything I can do? Or should do?
2006-10-18 11:18:51 · 15 answers · asked by terriyo63 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your daughter is an adult and has to make her own choices in life. The best thing you can do is love her and talk to her. Ask her what she is hoping for from this guy, how things will be different this time, what kind of future she is planning for herself and her child....Try to get her to come up with stated goals, to come up with rules for this guy, any kind of set plan that he needs to follow in order to prove he deserves a life with her and the kid. Hopefully by doing that she will see either now, or in the future that he isn't living up to his end of the relationship and that she really is better off without him in her life. The key is you can guide her down a path, but she has to reach the conclusion about what is right for herself, it can't be forced on her.
2006-10-18 11:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 21 years old your daughter is in a stage of rebbelion.Being your daughter ,you should back her in any decisions she might make with him.She will see in the end and come back home after learning a life lesson wich she will not soon 4 get.So get behind her let her know you are there 4 her no matter what her decision is and that u love her.She will find out on her own and eventually leave him.If we made up our kids minds for them they wouldnt have the right or wrongs later that they so need in life.
2006-10-18 18:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by gilligansr 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is an adult, there is nothing you can do. It doesn't sound like he is abusing her or your granddaughter. Its not a crime to be a bum or to love one.
What you can do is not accept her behavior in your house. Tell her if she's decided to see him again, you don't approve and she will need to move out. She can't have it both ways, why should you have to support her and her daughter when the person responsible gets off the hook. Give her 30days and be firm. Tell her, unemotionally, why you think he's wrong for her, then leave it alone, its none of your business.
2006-10-18 18:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, My daughter is 22 & dealing with this type of man. She doesn't have kids yet. My husband used to ignore things too. But when ever she complains about the boyfriend we tell her to break it off. we try to build her up. I asked her if she can see spending, maybe the rest of her life dealing with this person. I also added if he didn't change by now he probably never will. Most of the time they have to just get sick of the man themselves. Or hit rock bottom before they finally end it. I hope this helps. All you can do is be there for her & tell her like it is. Build her up & set a good example. Thanks for reading this. Judy K.
2006-10-18 18:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by JUDITH K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is simple the father of her child and that's it, honestly why don't you try being more supporting of them and helping them stay together than helping separate them. I mean seriously your the grandmother help he good towards a better path, help you granddaughter have father there24/7 who knows maybe your words might help this guy do better if he has the right support system. My dad always said, " you never know what's going on in someones life so don't judge". Anyway hope it works out, Good Luck.
2006-10-18 18:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by Wood77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and your grand-daughter. It sounds like your daughter has a low self-esteem and doesn't think she can do better. The only thing I could recommend is that you are there for your grand-daughter. Best of luck - hopefully she will see the light or meet someone who wants to be a real man....
2006-10-18 18:22:52 · answer #6 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has her reasons for trying to hang onto this loser. You will have to support her either way. Don't constantly rag about him, it only makes her protect him more. Just make sure that the child is in a safe situation or you will have to call family services. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-18 18:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell ur daughter what u think about him but ultimately the rest is up to her bcuz after all he is the father of ur 2yr old grandchild also
2006-10-18 18:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by scorpion_gurl88 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is blind and all you can do is be there when she finally sees the truth. Pray for her and let God do his thing.
2006-10-18 18:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by donna f 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it's he life she'll have to learn thru heartache and pain u done all u can
2006-10-18 18:22:19 · answer #10 · answered by Sapphire J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋