I really am confused?

Question

Ok well whenever I do something wrong or if something bad happens that realates somehow to me then I end up feeling really bad and getting bad thoughts that I really don't agree with.

Like for example this morning my sister and I missed the bus because we woke up late, and I usually wake up to the alarm first then wake her up. Today when we missed the bus one of the first things I felt was guilt. It really bothers me because I don't have much of a reason to be feeling these things, but they just come on it's own. It makes me sick.

Answer 1

I missed a bus last year. Ten minutes later a bus expolded as I was walking towards work. I don't know if it was the same bus I would have been on but I have still never been so happy to be a bit late for work.

Sometimes you think things are going wrong but they are going right you just don't have the perspective to see it.

You need to take a step back from the situations and try to look at them differently. Firstly, it really isn't your responsibility to wake your sister up. If she was late it was because she didn't wake up and not because YOU didn't wake her. Also, everyone oversleeps sometimes. It happens. You have no control over it so don't stress over it and don't get upset over it. Once your are late you are late and it doesn't matter what you do you are not going to make yourself early so don't waste your energy on things you can't change.

If there are things that upset you or happen and make you feel bad look at what they are. Firstly try to see if you can see any positive in the situation. It's always there if you look.

Negative: Oh I overslept, I am going to be late.
Positive: Hmmm that extra time in bed was just what I needed!

If there are things in your life that get to you that can be changed then use your energies to change them. If there are things you can't change then you have to focus on ways to accept them but the first thing is to look at these situations so you can identify which catagory they fall into.

From a personal experience: I lost my parents about five years ago and also found myself in a work place I hated with loads of debt. Now I could cry myself to sleep every night over my parents and in the early days I did but with all the effort in the world I can not bring them back so I had to work on ways to deal with the situation. My job and debt I did have some control over... I just had to take it. I asked for a transfer and aranged a repayment plan. It took a while but I don't cry at nights anymore, like my job and am debt free.

This has become an essay and I am really sorry about that but before I leave I am going to suggest one more thing. I have read a few of your questions and I do notice that you focus on the negative. For the most part I think that is human nature but it can become a very self destructive cycle. I admit I was the same... EVERYTHING was bad for me at one point. A friend suggested this and after a while it actually worked and changed my outlook. I got a note book and every day I wrote in it. I had to write the things I was thankful for, at least five things. This puts you in a frame of mind where you are actually looking for good things and so you see them and they don't pass you by and it also means you have less time to spend on the negative. It doesn't have to be big things. One day I was thankful that a woman at work wore a red sari as it was really pretty and that someone smiled at me.

I don't think you should leave these feelings you have unchecked and do think you should speak to someone. Your doctor would be a good start and they will be able to refer you to someone who can really help you.

Good luck and I hope you can start to see some of the good things.

Take care!

Answer 2

I really think that you should talk to your school counselor or someone that you trust (for sure your MD). You did not say how old you are...

But, it does sound like you are a perfectionist and that you are too hard on your self.

Maybe you can make a list of the bad thoughts you have and then take it to your MD and then you can go from there.

Some people are genetically wired to feel a certain way even though its in complete disagreement of how you think. Some times we learn the wrong things (Like if I am not perfect then, I am a bad person, etc) A cognitive/behavioral therapist can really help you.

Look it up online and see if this fits you.. (Cognitive distortion)

Answer 3

It seems u are a "very good child". It took me ages and many hours of psychotherapy to accept my bad side, to embrass my "bad self". Guilt usually hides anger, anger we dont express, anger we dont let out, anger we swallow instead of taking out. So, i would say there are 2 issues to consider: one is if u are comfortable with the idea that nobody is perfect, that u have the right ot be wrong too, that u have the right to be "bad" at times (u need a balance here), and the the other is how often u get angry, how often u express your anger instead keeping it inside and torturing yourself, and how much acceptable it is in your family to express your anger (and all your feelings in general). Free yourself from "musts" and "shoulds" now that u re still young, keep some basic values u need to rely on and live your life FREE. Guilt is not a good thing, it makes us depressed over time, see a cunsellor if u still feel confused or if this feeling persists and interferes with your daily life and relationships. Talk to your parents about it too, they are responsible for your welfare. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, learn how to care for yourself and LOVE YOURSELF more.

Answer 4

After the child is born have the paternity try regardless. If the child is yours then this is yours. Now that replaced into easy. yet, if the child isn't yours then 2 issues can ensue, you are able to settle for the baby or reject the baby. both way the child advantages to have a medical historic previous of his organic and organic father and that area of the kinfolk. followed children are frequently scoffed at yet they are chosen, now and again fought for and continually wanted. it truly is more advantageous than some organic children can say. So what ever you do, what ever you settle on, get the baby a medical historic previous of his organic and organic father no count number who that would want to be.

Answer 5

Really? Whenever I do something wrong like be mean or mess up in someway I feel like i end up getting punished for it by... someone controlling my life. But when I don't do anything wrong and something bad happens to me I get really confused. Like right now, I haven't done anything wrong in a long time, yet i have had a cold since saturday.

Answer 6

This sounds like anxiety.

What you need to do is look at the situation logically.

There are lots of things that go 'wrong' everywhere, everyday to everyone, but there is no way that all the stuff that goes wrong within your situation, can all be down to you.

You seem to have low self esteem as you are self blaming.

Why do you have low self esteem?

That is what lies beneath what you are experiencing.

Answer 7

You are the type that always wants to do good and never mess up..
a guilt trip you don't need to be on. chill out. if it is not your fault and you had no control on the mess up , just be cool. take life easy. blame the thing or person that messed up..

Answer 8

Each community has a community mental health clinic.

Answer 9

What???