How can I love someone else other than my husband?

Question

I never thought I could fall for someone else other than my husband. My husband is cruel and is hurtfull but I have been faithful with everything but my heart. I never planned it but I fell for someone else. I have spent too much time with the other person and I see this person everyday. I don't do it by choice and can't be advoided. He knows how I feel. I don't know how he feels other than I know he cares. It is just not a option for us to be together.

Answer 1

What do you want to do then?

Answer 2

If your husband is cruel and hurtful, it would be in your best interest mentally as well as physically (if he's physically abusive that is) to get out of the relationship. If you're afraid he may hurt you, you should get help from an organization like DOVE or the Nationaly Domestic Violence Hotline (their phone # is 1-800-799-SAFE).

As for falling in love with someone else, there's not much you can do about it. You can choose to act on your feelings or keep them hidden, but you can't just turn love on and off. Like a quote I read somewhere which goes something like, "Falling in love is just that, falling. You don't have much control over it." You shouldn't feel guilty for having feelings you have no control over. The only thing you should worry about about is what are you going to do with those feelings? Leave your husband and be with someone who'll hopefully treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve, or push your feelings to the side and remain with a man that doesn't sound like he derserves you?

Answer 3

Make your choice. It sounds like you have reason to leave your husband, but that's never a decision to make lightly. It is always a risk to take such a step, but you're tremendously unhappy with the situation as it is, and enduring it longer will only compound your misery.
You'd do well to attempt to salvage your marriage. Counselling may help, but if he won't go, go alone and get help making those difficult but necessary decisions.
Do be careful. It is all too easy to mistake normal courtesy and friendship for something much more when one is under the stress of a marriage gone bad. You don't want to exchange one bad relationship for another. You may be better off leaving your husband and NOT turning to another for romance right away. If this new fella is worth the time and trouble, he'll be there when you've worked through the trauma of divorce. If not - there'll be other guys worthy of you.

Answer 4

OK. first of all, ur marriage is NOT a good one. u know why? well u've got YOUR part down. but your husband doesn't. so u are allowing him to continuously hurt you... u are ALLOWING him to be cruel by staying w/ him. =T sure u may love him..but don't u think loving him also means bringing the BEST out of him? if u can't do that for him, and he can't treat u well, then it is NOT a good marriage.. just cuz u did the ceremony doesn't mean either of u are doing ur JOB as a husband and wife, which is to take care of each other: the husband needs to be able to make Good Decisions, take care of his wife and children financially, and act accordingly in order to command Respect and Admiration and Affection from you; likewise, a wife needs to be able to be the Support, take care of the children and emotionally support the husband, and be able to "Obey" the husband because he commands Respect and makes good decisions... you see how you need to REINFORCE each other in order to keep that Love and Committment and Trust strong??? growing?

because ur husband isn't truly Taking CAre of You, it allows u to seek love elsewhere. nip the problem in the bud; talk to him, and if he doesn't change, get a divorce and find Happiness.... and let your husband find someone who helps him to become better as well. good luck.

Answer 5

Y isn't an option 4 yall 2B2gather is your husband is cruel and hurtful your husband should treat u like a queen and not a women he can talk 2 like dirt

Answer 6

Why is this even an issue? Why would you stay with a man that is crule and hurtfull? Leave your husband and then work on how you feel about the new guy.

Answer 7

I don't know if you really love this other guy or not, maybe its just lust or gratitude for the attention. Either way, you should not act on this, you are married. You need to get out of your marriage before you act on this or any other type of relationship. If your not happy, why stay with your husband? Especially if he is so terrible, you shouldn't stay with someone that is so hurtful. I hope you can work this out for yourself. Maybe seek a counselor to figure out your future. I hope the best for you. Remember, life is short, be happy.

Answer 8

i have the best defense for all that SIMPLE, the beautiful thing bout love is its continous from its origin above every relation has abitter & sweet side to it and most of all sacrifices which mean s you do love him for other various reasons yet you dislike others even if you were with someone else you still find dislikes in them as well if not your first love would have worked forwhatever reason you are back on the horse again looking for someone to compliment your loving ways

Answer 9

It's not hard to fall for someone who cares, when the one you're with doesn't. Don't feel bad about that. Just be careful and don't cheat, cause then it turns into a whole different story.

Answer 10

Well you spent everyday with someone else. Thats how this happenned. You were looking for something outside your marriage, whether you knew it or not.

Answer 11

I think your husband has destroyed the love you had for him. (( Same thing happened to me, I loved my husband more than anything in the world, He destroyed my love with dishonesty , unfaithfulness, and verbal abuse.))
We turn to someone else for the understanding, and kindness that we never got from our husband.
It's sad we have to do that, but he made it happen.
Good luck to you .