My mother hate me bt i dont know why???

Question

I am 31 i have 3 kids, i had my eldest child when i was 17 two weeks before my 18th i love me kids more then i eve thought possible. so why does my mother hate me???? she had me when she was 18 and has all my life made me feel i have to say sorry for being born,she went on to have another two kids with my father and when they split she had another kid with her new hubby. she openly favored them over me. I have not spoken to her in over a year, i was the one to ring and see how she was she only ever rang if she needed something so september last year i decided to stop ringing to see how long it took for her to ring me i am still waiting!!!
I have been thinking lately should i ring or write but not sure what to do??

Answer 1

Sorry sweetheart, but she probably resents you for what she sees as ruining her life. She probably never gave herself the chance to love you. Try to comes to terms with it and understand why she feels the way she feels. Once you understand you can forgive her and move on with your life. I know from experience how hard it can be when you are not loved by your mother. Try talking to someone about it. If she resents your children as well than stay away. You do not need to subject your prescious children to that.

Answer 2

Well first of all its not right how your mom has been and continues to do you but on the other hand she's still your mother. Have you really discussed the way she makes you feel with her? If not I think the conversation is long over due and you should talk with her about your feelings. Maybe it will open her eyes to her ways and help to have a better future between the two of you. No one but yourself can decide whether or not you should call her but I'd at least give it another shot. Good luck to you ;o)

Answer 3

My father left my mother when she was pregnant with me at the age of 18. He didn't call, he didn't write, he didn't send birthday cards or anything. I had no contact with him until I was 14, and didn't meet him until I was 19 (turns out he's a loser, so no matter anyways). We lived with my mother's parents and I remember my mother being the sweetest, most caring person ever. She would tuck me in at night, read me stories, etc. She married when I was 4, and my brother came along a few months later. At this point, I was swept to one side and my brother and stepfather became the centre of her world. To this day she favours my half-brother. My stepfather was emotionally and verbally abusive, and my mother turned a blind eye to it, pretending that it wasn't happening, and now expects me to act the 'perfect daughter' to a man who is far from the perfect father. It sickens me. We have fought over it, with me telling her to stop deluding herself into thinking we're a big, happy family. Needless to say, she wasn't very happy with me. My mother hasn't ever been there for me when I needed her the most, and it does hurt. But in the end, she is the one who will have to deal with the consequences of her behaviours and choices, not me. All I know is that I will never subject my children to the same things that I felt, and I know that I will be a better parent because of it. You focus on your children, they are the most important thing right now, and you do what is best for them and for you. Let your mother deal with her own issues. One day, she will have no choice but to do so.

Answer 4

The only way to find the solution to one problem is to know the cause and tackle it, and in this situation u really v to think hard and find Wat's the cause of Ur own problem. if u don't know then go to the source in this case its ur mom. Ask her why she hates u so much and make peace with her before its to late. please drop ur pride and go to her first. The only way to get back at someone is to be the first to forgive, call , to say am sorry and lot of other nice stuff. Remember no matter wat she is the only mother u ve on the face of the earth right now. I believes she has other daughters.

Answer 5

Omg, I thought of my mom like that too when I was about 14/15.. Really know how u feel. I don't know how your home situation is, but maybe she is being like that for your own good? I'm not sure. But me and my mom talked about it, allot. cause I got really depressed and needed serious help. I love my mom alot and she is very nice to me, I have no idea what to do without her. Would you want to talk with me about it? U can always mail me xx

Answer 6

I understand how you feel a little. I'm 25 and just had my FIRST child in august. When my mother was my age, she was married and had me and my older brother. It seems as if they think we owe them something for bringing us into the world when we didn't ask to be here. Why do parents do that. I would NEVER make my son feel like he owes me anything. That me and his father's choice for him to be here. Some people just don't grow up

Answer 7

You need to call your mum. No, you need to speak to her in person because it's a serious issue. Ask her why she doesn't call you anymore. Tell her that you feel neglected and remind her that you still need her guidance even though you've grown up.

Your mom could still be hurting deep down because she committed herself into her first marriage only to have it end in divorce. She's bitter that you were the cause of her first marriage. But she doesn't realise that you aren't the cause of the failure in that first marriage.

Answer 8

This is really sad. I know how you feel. Life is way to short though so give her a call and see how she is doing not for her sake but yours. You may regret if you don't. I know to many people that have lost their loved ones without saying good bye.

Answer 9

I hate to say this, but it's probably a good thing that she's not keeping in contact with you. It sounds like she has made your life miserable. If she doesn't want to have contact with you, that's her own problem. Just remember that it's her loss. Just focus on your kids and make your life what you want it to be.

Answer 10

i am so sorry you feel like this. your mum could be feeling shes let you down . stop feeling guilty, you've tried to please her. let her know you're there, that your doors open to her. let her know she has 3 lovely grandchildren who would love to see her.concentrate on loving your own children, as you obviously do,.send her a wee note invite her for coffee,etc, suggest a date that suits both of you,be prepared to be let down though . she doesnt sound like a very happy person to me.this is not your fault. she has issues that only she can sort out in her head. if you get on with your brothers/sisters why not ask one of them to find out what the problem is. i hope things work out for you. good luck x