or is there really such a thing as that.? the more i want to get close the more he shys away , than blames his issues.He also blames me and says that we are just a miss match and that i dont contribute enough to the relationship .Every time we have broken up we alway get back together.It.s happend about nine times already .This time we broke up again and i fear it's for real . should I wait to get back togethr with him or do I just give up all hope? We had so much in common from music to food you name it we shared it ,things that go back to child hood and our experiences .He says he has been hurt in the past ,cheated on and lied to .Is he taking it out on me? I really could use some advice. I don't want to lose him.Sigh!.......
2006-10-18 09:51:43 · 11 answers · asked by BLONDBOMB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Fear of intimacy is a very real thing. Many people put up walls and refuse to get close to other people simply because they are scared of getting hurt. The real issue here is why do you want to stay with him so bad? You obviously need intimacy in a relationship in order to be happy and this guy as wonderful as he is can't give you that. You two have broke up so many times...sure you get back together every time, but do you really want a long term relationship where this pattern is the norm. You need to think long and hard about what you want for your future and if it is intimacy and a stable relationship then this isn't the right guy for you. Things between you two are not going to change no matter what you do so you need to either accept the relationship as it is or let it go.
2006-10-18 09:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like you have a great friendship, but there must be some sort of guilt associated with the physical stuff from his side. Has he had some sort of traumatic relationship in the past? Are you willing to give him time and space and just be his friend until he is ready to take the next step? If you want a real relationship with him, you better tell him you are willing to work on things from your side and be supportive of him in whatever he needs to do to trust you mentally and physically. Just be his best friend and he'll come around.
2006-10-18 10:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put yourself out there again! If he really wanted to be with you, he wouldn't be pulling this kind of crap! Don't waste your time anymore. Find someone who wants to be with you and actually cares and goes out of his way to be with you. Just because you have things in common, doesn't mean your compatible in an intimate relationship. Maybe all you can every be is good friends. Ditch the guy and move on...You can do it. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.
2006-10-18 09:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by court 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear, i think the best thing to do is to move on hun. I was in a relationship similar to yours and it didn't go anywhere. It took over 3 months to get over him and he was everything i ever wanted. Believe me, you'll find someone who will treat you like a queen and will want to walk the ends of the earth for you. I know I have!!!
2006-10-18 10:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by material_gurl2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sigh!
He's just NOT that into you....
Emotionally messed up guys have a way of attracting girls, when things turn out to be serious, they start to act weird and make up excuses. They want to be in a relationship but they fear intimacy. It needs lots of guts to try to fix him bcoz he might hurt your feelings my dear. Good luck:)
2006-10-18 09:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by HopeH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have any desire for you , more than liking he spends time with you just to have company. Liking the same food and music isn't going to keep him from finding someone that he really cares for. I hate to pop your bubble but isn't going to be you.
2006-10-18 10:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think, if you marry him, you will go through the rest of your life with the same problem.
There are many, many guys out there with out the baggage, problems or game playing that your boyfriend has.
Please go find one.
2006-10-18 10:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by festus_porkchop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has to much baggage. If it hasn't worked out yet, it isn't going to work out. It's time to cut your losses and move on.
2006-10-18 09:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no saying that goes "the 10th time's a charm". Move on...
2006-10-18 09:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by Emery 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I gave my ex one more chance...and i was hurt again. You gave him 9??? That's way more than enough. Move on, you won't change him.
2006-10-18 09:54:30 · answer #10 · answered by apriljm76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋