9 years ago I was engaged to a wonderful guy-but I got scared and called off the wedding.I myself am engaged and getting married in 7 months.Anyways I never kept in touch with the ex and I just found out he is getting married in november.I found myself thinking about the past ever since.Could it be b/c I never had any closure when I broke it off.Please do not tell me that I'm not ready to marry my fiance that I'm with now b/c I do LOVE him with all my heart and soul.I was 20 years then and 29 years old now.I've grown alot since then.HAs this ever happened to anyone else before.Serious answer only please.
2006-10-18 09:45:26 · 9 answers · asked by Angela b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh yeah. I think a lot of women especially do it. I've dealt with it. This guy was a huge part of your life. It's only natural. You love your fiancee. But the ex still has a part of your heart... and always will. It's just memories. No big deal. Hope this helps!
2006-10-18 09:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by stunner_mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're a bad person at all. I have been through a similar situation where a wedding is called off. He is already married to someone else now and when I found out I was really sad. I actually cried. Not because I didn't love my current fiancee but because it was a sad time. And immediate break up, no closure. I'm sure you're a completely different person now than you were when you were 20. That guy was obviously not the person you were suppose to be with. As long as you don't do the same thing to your new guy, then it's fine. You'll be okay.
2006-10-18 10:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by texas y'all! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience. I heard an ex was marrying and I felt a twinge. But, I was in a serious relationship and very much in love. I think it is more about self esteem than anything else. If you need closure, write this guy a letter, really heartfelt, then tear it up. Kinda like a catharsis.
2006-10-18 10:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, it's normal to look back on your life when you're getting ready to make a big change. Just because you have loved one person doesn't mean you can't love another with your whole heart. And you can never completely leave behind the memories of the events that made you who you are today.
It's all good.
2006-10-18 09:56:07 · answer #4 · answered by Hal H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is scientifically proven that over time people tend to remember good memories better than the bad ones. You may be feeling a bit of stress over the wedding and going through a "what if?" stage. Don't worry about it, you're about to have a huge life-changing event and its only natural you question your choices and reflect on the past a bit.
2006-10-18 10:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by Meems 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to wonder about someone from your past and all the what ifs that it brings up. Your life is just getting ready to go through a huge change and right now you head is just spinning through the past and dealing with things so you can move forward. Stop worrying about it and you will soon stop thinking about it.
2006-10-18 09:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case of you don't want him, but you don't want anyone else to have him either. You may have grown alot in the last 9 years, but probably you should grow up just a little bit more.
2006-10-18 10:34:25 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good news - you're normal! It could very well be because you didn't have closure....but chances are you aren't going to get it either. It's normal to wonder 'what if?', but try to make peace with it in yourself and don't focus on it. Good luck!
2006-10-18 13:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course! The beauty of "what if" and human curiosity. That's all. Don;t stress and be happy.
Congrats
2006-10-18 10:14:38 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋