Tomorrow is my late moms birthday..?

Question

its her 2nd b-day since she passed and i still feel like i have a hole in my life without her here.im a grown adult male(27) with a daughter and a wife.But things just kind of linger sometimes..maybe its just that i felt she was robbed of seeing her granddaughter before she passed?

Answer 1

I hear ya ... I remember going through the same thing right after my mom passed. About a year after she passed, I was excited because I bought my first truck and while I was driving it from the dealership, I thought about driving right to her house to show her ... realized after a split second that wasn't possible ... you will mend with time ... I know it's an old cliche, but time helps.

Answer 2

Not very much time has passed for you. My dad has been gone for 2 years now and there are still days that are hard to get through. (He was 52 when he died, I was 30 - I am assuming your mom was young as well). I have since had a son and I know exactly what you mean. Not a day goes by that the baby doesn't do something that I think my dad would have really enjoyed; and it makes me sad that my son will not know his grandfather. I think that hole will always be there, I just hope that someday it will be easier to deal with, and I know it will. So, don't feel like you are alone. If you need to do something special on your mom's birthday, do it - you need to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to. I usually sit and have a silent "conversation" with my dad on his birthday. It may sound strange, but it makes me feel better.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. My mother passed away before I got to tell her I was pregnant, my daughter is now 5 and I feel like she is missing so much by not haveing her grandma around. I always get sad this time of year, her birthday was Oct 30th and she passed right before Thanksgiving. I still have the feeling like I just want to pick up the phone and call her, only if it was that easy! If you ever need to chat IM me on yahoo at ccne4evr. Sometimes it helps to chat with someone in the same boat!

Answer 4

Dear One, you have my heart in this. My Mother passed 4 years ago. I am the older of 2 children (my brother is 37). He has a small daughter 4 years old, who was an infant when our Mother passed. I STILL feel depressed when her birthday comes around. And yes, she was robbed of seeing her grand daughter. I understand that everyone says she sees her from where shes's at. Thats great, but it doesn't make me feel any less depressed. Only time can heal some wounds. Its normal, I stress normal, to feel like this. Its ok to question the higher powers.....you won't get answers but its ok to question. You will get past it eventually, not over it....just past it. It still hurts for me but I try to remain strong because that the way my Mother raised me. You can be strong too, its okay to still greive.

Answer 5

I feel the same way and my Granny passed 8 years ago. Just know that she is still watching you. You may not be able to see her, but somewhere she can you. Make it a point to keep her memory alive and tell your little angel all about her grandma and that they have something in common, They are both your angels. My girls get a kick out of that one.

Answer 6

My mother passed away four years ago, soon after I turned 40, so I understand where you are coming from. I have three children, all boys, and she died after my youngest son turned 2 years old. My mother only got to know my oldest son. She helped me to raise him into the young man and husband and father that he is today (he has a daughter too). He was very broken up over her dying.

What I do to cope with it is, every year on her birthday, I light a candle to remind me of her. I think of her every day since her passing, but that day is special to me. I talk to my other sons about her almost every day; they ask me questions, and I do my best to answer them and tell them about her and what she was like.

Do the same for your daughter; tell her everything you remember about her, make her come alive for her. Show her pictures, videos, whatever you have of your mother. You could also go to the Social Security Death Index on www.rootsweb.com, and show her your mother's name and birthplace. Good luck.

Answer 7

Happy Birthday to your mom. Have you taken your daughter to her grave site yet? Maybe you should take her and introduce her to your daughter.. I know she will not understand but maybe it will give you a little piece of mind. It's really wonderful how you love your mom and her memory.. As long as you carry her in your heart she is always with you, and I'm sure she is looking over her granddaughter as well.

Answer 8

I feel your pain. Can i make a suggestion to you? Why don't you have a little party in honor of your mom, in memory of her. Pull out all the old photo and home videos it will certainly bring back fun and loving memories of her and your daughter too can get to know her grandma a bit. Try it, this might actually help you as well.

Answer 9

Sending a huge hug with this post, I wish I could give you some magic answer to fill that hole, but I cannot. I lost my father two years ago, and to this day it feels as if a piece of my soul is missing. Just keep the memories close to you..., and good luck to you and yours.

Answer 10

i sort of no how you feel i lost my sister when i was younger and its her bday in a few weeks ive sat back so many times and wondered what it would have been like if she was still here and what would she have been like with my 2yr old son but the way i see it is that i may not be able 2 see her but i will never for get het and i will tell me son everything i can. as long as you dont forget her she will always be with you