14 Yr Old Nephew Cutting Himself?

Question

My nephew is cutting himself, and today got pulled in by the counselor because he was doing it at the lunch table with a plastic knife...he never uses anything sharp, and only produces light scratches in visible places. I have read it is an "attention seeker" to do it this way but my sister is horrified. He has no relationship with his father who is a deadbeat druggie with 5 other children, but has had support from his grandparents, and our whole family his whole life. He also takes medicine for ADD. Is there anything my sister can do at home to help? She is worried about how to address the situation (talk to him and such) since he is a mouthy teenager, and doesn't listen to half of what she says anyway and argues with a brick.

Okay I need a REAL answer...someone who has dealt with this before and yes they have God in their lives.

Answer 1

i am 14 and also have a problem with cutting myself. But I have been going to a counselor and I'm trying to stop. Its a way that we cope with our problems. Cutting yourself makes you focus on the physical pain instead of the emotion pain you are going through. Dont listen to this "attention seeker theory, for people do not understand that its a real problem nowdays, you need to take it seriously. Please, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it, he's going through some hard stuff and he needs you. Try to get him to go to a psychiatrist or something, it really helped me, as I am trying to stop now. But honestly he needs you there for him, even if he doesnt want you.

Answer 2

He's got big problems. I was 14 when I first ever cut myself. I was going through tremendous turmoil at home. I lived in an abusive situation and the reason why I did it was yes, for attention and also it seemed for some strange reason to somehow make me feel better. I know it sounds retarded but it's true. It's almost a relief, an end to an ever rising climax to cut. I did this a few more times throughout my teens, with a razor blade or knife and always in times of extreme stress. I had to be treated for severe depression and anxiety along with anger problems. I am 31 and have not done that in years but I have a few ugly scars on my wrist that remind me of a bad time. Get this kid help FAST. No one cared enough to get me help at the age I needed it. By the time I got it, It took YEARS to try and come out of the darkness of depression. I believe had I been treated fro m the age 14 I would have been better off. Please get this kid help NOW. Don't wait until the self destructive pattern has a chance to settle firmly into his psyche. It's harded to break the longer you wait.

Answer 3

He is seeking attention. He feels like everyone is always attacking him and no one is on his side. Probably why he is so belligerent.

My advice is to give him a lot more attention, let him know that you and other people care. Tell him what a great kid he is. It may be tough but keep at it for a while. If he does something bad don't make him think it's because he's a bad person or useless, just let him know you're upset and take action. NEVER hit him. Tell him you're upset with him but still love him.

Take an interest in his health and well being. He is hurting himself because he hates himself and is looking for attention. If you show him you love him, not hate him, then he will begin to see himself the same way.

Good luck

Answer 4

Wow,

I am really surprised at some of these answers. Joanna is right, and THERAPY is needed right away.

If a cry for help is attention seeking behavior then I guess that is what he is doing.

More than likely he is depressed and he can't express himself verbally. Most cutters (thats what people are called when they do this to themselves) have endured trauma of psychological pain and they try to ease the pain by causing themselves physical pain.

Its almost like how some people pop their knuckles, bite their nails, etc. ( but of course on a more destructive and in a more dangerous way)

I see adults that have this and it takes years of therapy, and usually they have attempted suicide because of the intense shame they feel because they can't stop cutting.

The school counselor should be able to refer you to someone.

But, make sure that boy gets help.

good luck

Answer 5

Sounds like my best friend from high school, she was on ritalin for ADD and she did cut herself a few times. She grew out of it but she also devloped a pretty good drug habit. She is now clean of drugs but she is prescribed so many meds that I am not sure if she abuses those. I dont really have any advice all I can say is that I was there for her, she does have some other issues though. I guess I would suggest taking him to a counsler. If he wont talk to you maybe he can get his feelings out woith someone else. Good luck and I am sorry.

Answer 6

Most of the time Kids cut themselves because they want parents to think they are doing wrong and most of the time it is for attention. As a teenager, i would personally be scared off from trying to seek attention by being told you are going to do something about the problem e.g get medical help. By doing this you are showing your not just going to sit and feel sorry for him. If this doesn't work and you find out your Nephew actually is worrying and cutting himself for a reason. TRY ( and i know its hard with teenagers) to get him to tell you his problem and try to help him as much as you can so he knows to come talk to you if hes upset
Sorry if this doesn't help its just i came from a bad childhood too

Answer 7

I would have someone in his life that has a relationship with him to ask him if he wants help. If he says no, then let him go for a while. At least until the next stage develops, then ask again. If he says yes, then take him to a Christian Marriage and Family counselor (with degree). At 14, he is way down the road to serious permanent dysfunction. But if he will not cooperate-then you will have to wait until he really hurts himself.

Answer 8

He needs some mental health therapy. When someone self-mutilates, it's not only a cry for help, but also releases endorphins when they cut deep enough to bleed. This is a sort of high. Do you know if he's doing drugs? I have a grand-daughter just like this, her own worst enemy until she had a few little personal successes. The boy also needs positive re-enforcement. Don't we all.

Answer 9

it is very hard at that age for a parent to help them. since there is no major damage being done to himself (are you sure? often the serious wounds are better hidden) the thing is to hope one of his friends talks to him about it. if it does get worse he can always go to a center. in high school (one when we were frosh and 2 as sophs) we talked to them and when they wouldn't listen we went to their parents and had them put away (vista hill was what ours was called... think bellvue, essentially a mental health hospital). they did much better after that. since he is a minor she can put him in there and he cannot sign himself out (at least that's they way it worked then in cali). it is usually a 2 week program, but they keep a good eye on the people (my 2 friends ended up rooming together, egging each other on in doing it until the staff noticed about 2 days later and split them up - different floors even) and if more or less time is needed they do so accordingly. it may be a cry for attention, but why does he need to do it? is he lacking friends? attention at school? is it his release for bottled up frustration (i used to beat the tar out of my thighs so i wouldn't hit someone else)? try to see it from his perspective otherwise nothing you try personally will work.

Answer 10

Honestly most of the time it's not that big of a deal. When I was a teenager I did this. I guess it was depression, I'm not sure. I had a great family and great environment. I was never suicidal, I was never really trying to injur myself. Not sure what the need is, but I grew out of it, most people do. Unless he is seriously depressed, or suicidal don't stress so much. Good luck.