What do you do if counseling and grief support groups has not helped in dealing with the loss of my daughter?

Question

Thank you to everyone with your answers. I pray everyday 10 million times a day to GOD, only he knows what to do with me. I have been in couseling and tried many different support groups and it has not helped. I am at a dead end, my husband and son is my back bone. I guess I am stubborn and just don't know how to move on or accept that she is gone. I will never have any mother/daughter days that I have been dreaming of since she was born, I had one mother/daughter day and that was 2 days before she passed and I cherrish that always. My dreams are crushed, I love my son and do the best to keep going for him but the feelings I carry are not positive ones and it is getting harder each day to keep going. I can't see anything but my loss and devastation. HELP me please.

Answer 1

You have to keep up the therapy. Talking to people about your loss is very therapudical. There is this old adage that says "Love Heels all wounds in time." This is true. The only thing that is going to heel your wounds will be love and time and faith in God. God took your daughter for a reason and you must believe in what he does is right even though it doesn't feel right. Talking to a Priest or clergy will help. Going to church or place of worship will strengthen your faith. Getting involved with community functions or charities will help you. Keep your faith and keep your strength. In time things will get easier. I hope this helps. God bless you and stay strong.

Answer 2

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. God is the one who will get you through this. I lost my father at 22 and divorced at 29, this does not compare to the loss of a child, but I know that as time went on my prayers were answered and I was able to deal with each loss a little easier. I had a wonderful family and church support system that checked on me continuously and helped me through the hard times. Counseling and support groups are both a great idea, but I suggest getting out and living also. I am sure that your daughter would want you to go on and enjoy the life that God has blessed you with. Remember you have a husband and son that need you as well. There are also many children who do not have positive role models, it would never replace your daughter but maybe you can find a friend or neighbor who needs someone to help with their daughter while they are working. I am a single mother with two daughters and would not mind at all if someone I trusted was able to assist with some of the things I can not unfortunately attend to while I am at work, like supervising field trips, etc.

I don't know if any of this helps but I will pray for you that you will be able to overcome your grief.

Answer 3

I also lost a child, a daughter. She would have been nine years old this friday October 20th. When she first died I went through the shock and disbelief like all people do. Then when it finnaly sunk in that she was gone I went into a major depression. I could not eat, I could not sleep, I could not be there for my other children or my husband. Finnally one day a friend came over to my house and said something to me that woke me up for good and I became myself again. She said " You have to move on, if not for yourself, do it for your kids that are currently sitting on the couch waiting for there mother to come back."
I know that your loss was terrible. I understand it more then you will ever know. Just remember that you have a family and loved ones that will always be there for you, and your daughter would want you to still BE YOU!!!
God Bless you ...
Your in my prayers.
here is my yahoo messenger Id if you want to talk;
greenteachick03

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear of your loss i cant fully understand because i haven't lost a child myself but i can say to you i think your daughter would want you to go on and be happy and not grieve forever in time the pain will lesson but you will still miss her here is a thought you need to find away to keep busy i don't know how old your daughter was but have you thought about being a foster mother to a needy child even a little girl who needs a mom and i hope you find some comfort in god

Answer 5

Well how long has it been since she died? A grieving process is considered normal if it lasts 2 years, if it lasts for more than 2 years then it´s considered pathological. Why don´t you try soing to another counsellor or taking to your priest. Your situation is more than comprehensible but you need to acknowledge the fact that you still have a son and you have to be there for him because he suffered the loss too, so I know that sometimes we don´t understand and we don´t accept the thing that happen to us but you have to make an effort to move on with your life. I know that you´ll never forget her but I guess that she wouldn´t wanted you to be so sad, she would want to see you happy.

Answer 6

Just keep searching for a grief support group in your area.Don't give up until you feel you are comfortable enough to continue.Grieving differ's from people to people.Its a long and stressful process but with time it will feel less painfull.You may not realize it but perhaps you need to spend more time and energy on your son whom must feel awful too.coping skills is essential to your family.Have you went to your family doctor and asked him to give you antidepression medication?something to help with anxiety?Thats a good start,you need to get back on your feet for your SON's sake!!!!!! and yours too

Answer 7

Have you tried talking to a minister or priest? That might help and also if you have a close friend, talking to her might help. Sometimes it just helps to talk to others that have had the same loss as you have had.

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Answer 8

Get professional help IMMEDIATELY!!!!! I dont care what the cost, a phsyciatrist can help...I have also lost someone, and couldnt bear the load alone...Please, to help yourself and your family, dont hesitate....