should i be hurt?

Question

My mom is moving to florida to be with my step dad, he tried to molest me when i was 14 years old and he moved to florida, my mom stayed here, but now she is going to be back with him, and it hurts me so much, her nor the rest of my family understands why i cry myself to sleep every night. the only person that understands what i'm going through is my boyfriend. i have 2 older brothers and they always say "I dont understand why she makes a big deal out of this" but they werent the ones he hurt. he hurt me emotionally really bad, i have a hard time trusting people anymore. should i be hurt about this all?

Answer 1

Yes. I am kind of in that situation too. My sister married a child molester and he tried to moleste my niece. She will not divorce him and I refuse to be around him. So my sister chooses to be with him over me and her family. I don't know why people are the way they are. It makes me sick. Try not to let it bother you. Stay away from this guy. If this is what your mother wants, then let her go. If she chooses a child molester over her daughter, the hell with her. Just because their blood does not make them family. My dad was a child molester too. I have not seen him in 18 years and do not want to. If my mom still lived with him, I would not see her either.

Answer 2

Yes, you have every right to feel hurt, your mother emotionally betrayed you !!! I understand you and so do most others. I personally cannot fathom how she could go back to the person who abused HER daughter !!!
You will probably never get over this betrayal, but you must remember not everyone else is like your mother, most people would never go near this person again !!!
But, there isnt much you can do about the situation , if anything. You will have to decide if you can try to understand her & forgive her or not. But whatever you do, NEVER be alone with this guy again !!!
Have you told your mother how this breaks your heart, how betrayed you feel??? I advise you to write her a heartfelt letter (no blame laying on her, unless she knew what he would do to you -- in that case I'd stay away from her). I hope you will seek councelling asap, dear, as you need it to help heal your heart! Your local gov. can offer FREE or low-charge help to you, so DO NOT WAIT, go see someone, the longer you bear this grief the harder it will be to recover! You are not to blame and you need the help & strength of others, so seek it out !!!
YYou didn't say, was he not prosecuted for this, were the police not notified????? I believe there is no statute of limitation on child molestation, so if this was truly a crime against you, go to your state's attorney and see what can be done. But only if he's truly guilty. Best wishes. I hope you'll seek the help you need & deserve !!!

Answer 3

Yes. Of coarse you should be. I feel sympathy for you. Lots of it. If that ever happend to me, and people started saying that I am stressing over it too much, I would be heart broken. If your mum left your father because he molested you, then there is no way on this planet that your mum should abandon you, and go back now. Just know, that this is none of your fault. It is your mother's. If she was a good Mum, and knew how to take care of her children, then for sure, she should be staying with you, and loving and caring for you. I'm so sorry to hear about what happend.

Answer 4

Don't you think that you shouldn't be hurt. Don't let your mothers or brother's lack of understanding make you feel like this shouldn't affect you. And I think it's horrible that your mother would leave to be with him after knowing about that.

Your brother's can't understand. They don't know what it's like to be afraid of someone hurting them that way.

Just be thankful you have a caring boyfriend who understands you and will help you through this.

Good luck. I hope everything gets better... :)

Answer 5

Your brothers are guys and nothing has happened to them but let them have a daughter and they would have killed him.As for your mother she has mental problems and your better off with out her. If your thinking I'm just spouting at the mouth I'm not I was a molested kid (by my grandfather)and nothing was ever done. He molested me and my cousins even raped one.He's still out there.My famliy ignored me when I tried to tell them. So what your going thru is very normal. It is very hard to deal with. I'm on meds and go to tharapy once a week. You should try it.

Answer 6

Wow, I can totally relate. Trust me, what you're feeling is totally normal and real. Sad thing is that you're family will probably never fully understand your feelings but they are legite. My mother did the same to me and I still have serious issues with that. Don't worry, you're not alone. Just always remember that you are better than that and those who downplay your emotions. Live and learn.

Answer 7

I understand what you are going through and you have ever right to be hurt and keep yourself at arms length and don't trust your step dad at all and when you have kids don't let them around you have the right to be hurt and have the feelings you do

Answer 8

Do your mom and brothers know about what happened? You need to sit your mom down alone and explain to her that this man she's with is harmful to her relationship with you, that you need her to be a mother and protect you. If she chooses him over you after having a "heart to heart" about it, there's no hope for her. Can you stay with your dad or something when she leaves?

Answer 9

Of course you should be hurt! That is the ultimate betrayal in my opinion! I'm sorry but I wouldn't forgive my mother if she did something like that. There is no excuse.

Answer 10

yeah that's a bad thing to go though if u need anyone to talk to my email addy on my profile or u can always talk to ur mom to get her to understand how you feel and what ur going though if he tried to hurt u she need to understand that he could her more ppl or maybe have hurt others and he needs to be reported and it its ur fault its a hurtful thing what he tried to do to you