Is anyone out there, who suffers from depression/anxiety........?

Question

in a successful relationship, for how long and does your partner also suffer from this. The reason I'm asking is I was just in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression/ anxiety who was on Effexor and Xanax (sp?) who I miss dearly today, but I just couldn't handle the ups and downs of his moods and his day to day struggles with this. I don't have a problem with depression to that extent, so it was very hard on me.

He was also kind of mean at times and demeaning to me. I know he didn't mean to act this way, but why should I have to put up with this. I felt sorry for him, but I do have to think of myself first, don't I?

Would it be better if he dated someone who also suffers from depression, who may be more understanding than me.

Answer 1

I am the depression and anxiety poster child. I can tell you that there is nothing they can do except to take their meds regularly. They need a supportive person who understands that the feelings they have are NOT directed at their partner, but come about without their control. If you miss this person dearly you may want to call and see how they are. I can tell you from experience that it is one of the worst feelings of hopelessness and loneliness that you can imagine. It is important thet they develop coping mechanisms to "talk them down" from the anxiety. I have taken Effexor, Zoloft, Paxil, and none were right for me. I am now taking Lexapro and it is just the right thing. If their doctor has not tried another of these drugs they should go and speak with them. Effexor is NOT the only one and they all have to be just right for a person's metabolism. I hope you didn't hurt this person. I will give you this advice...If you truly can't be comfortable with them and don't feel that you can support them then do not attempt to revive this relationship. They need someone that can.

Answer 2

There's a difference between depression and bipolar. Your friend may be on the wrong medication, if he experiences extremely high days and then very low ones this is a sign of bipolar and if he is not on the right meds is in danger.

I was on effexor and it made matters very much worst for me, my doctor increased my dosage and I was not very knowledgeable and depressed so failed to research the drugs side effects and so on, make sure his daily dosage is not over what is recommended, you can find this out at from your pharmacist or online.

He may be suffering from a reaction to the medication, and probably could use therapy, simple depression, a feeling of prolonged sadness, for no apparent reason, is often treatable through therapy. Read up on the subject if you miss your friend and share your knowledge if he is willing that is, you can't force something down someone's throat if they are not ready, next pray that he will get better, good luck.

Answer 3

Yes they are linked. I too have suffered from panic attacks pretty much for the past 5 years. Sometimes it gets so bad that I cannot leave the house for days on end, this is what causes my depression, that I cannot live the life I want to. My boyfriend recently left me due to my panic attacks - we had been together for nearly two years, talked about marriage and kids when he decided he couldn't deal with 'my problem' (he didn't like to ever mention them either - he preferred me doped up to the eyeballs than sorting out my problem). I have been to the doctors to see about counselling and she has made me try an antidepressant called Citalopram first for a few weeks. At the moment its making me feel really quite slow - these effects should wear off after a couple of weeks (I went in the past and I was given beta blockers which slowed my heart down rather than make me feel any better. See you doctor about cognitive therapy to help you work through this. I don't drink alcohol anymore because when I was hungover I used to get them really bad - I was fine when I was drunk though Good luck, its crap isnt it? I would prefer not to take tablets for it either, I would rather learn how to control my anxiety

Answer 4

I would say that your friend is not on the correct meds or the correct dosages. I am on Depakote and Celexa and my moods are pretty much stable. Everyone has ups and downs. Maybe you should suggest your friend to go to their dr and have their meds rechecked. It takes time and patience and they need you to be there for them. By the way I have been married for 13 years, 4 kids and I just was able to get on the right meds this last summer. So basically 3 months. If you really care about this person you will do what it takes. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear of what you went through. I also suffer from both and have been on both of the same medications. I had to go to see more MD's, a psychiatrist to help manage the medication and mood swings. He does not mean to do what he does and if his meds are not working that tends to happen. I thank God everyday for my husband who has been dealing with this for many many years and says he will help me as much as he could to get through it. It is not easy for everyone but you can help him by having him see other therapists to manage his meds and him closer so he can find what will work for him to help him feel a little bit normal and deal with what ever problem he may have. Best wishes to you and your ex.

Answer 6

i am on the opposite side of your situation, lol. i have severe depression. it just gets worse nearly every day. i'm on anti-depressants, but they don't help me at all, they just make me feel "drugged out". coming from the opposite side of the situation, i can sense how difficult this must be for you. i know it's hard to have a close relationship with some one like this. i haven't had many successful relationships either. in fact, i've given up on them. from my point of view, all i can say is to have more patience. when you love somebody who has Depression, try to be there for them in the best way that you can. sometimes, we just need people to listen. i know it's pretty hard, but try to have more patience with him. i know what he's going through, it's very hard to live a normal life with depression.

Answer 7

You were wise to go on with your life. Depression and anxiety are really rough not only on the person suffering from them but those close to that person. Meds help and so does therapy. It's not always a lifelong struggle, but...

Answer 8

i have depression and have been in 2 long term relationships but it was very hard for both of us especially them.theres nothing you can do that person has to help them selves. and i also know that some of the medications stop working after awhile on certain people. i take st. johns wort, ive been taking it about 8 years and it seems to work for me , i found out about it watching 60 minutes awhile ago. But one thing you need to know is that it is NOT you.

Answer 9

I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a "hand on" and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.

Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life

Answer 10

Wow..lots of people who have this depression problem..i am fortunate not to have it.

If it's true depression, then I guess there are chemicals in the brain that are low and you need to take meds for it. i think that works for most people...

but i think it would be hard for anyone who has depression to be with someone who does not have it. or visa versa....