What do I do???

Question

Acts so frekin retarded and aggravates the crap out of me. He's also disgusting like he learned personal hygenine from monkey. Its so gross that i won't even bother telling you. At my dads house though things are practically perfect when i visit. I'm kind of torn between two families, i don't want to leave my mom with a moron. should i stay or go?

Answer 1

It isn't clear if this person is your brother, your mother's new husband/boyfriend or someone else...

If its your brother you could try calmly talking to your mother about how much it bothers you that's he like he is. It is her job to try to point out to you that some of what he doesn't shouldn't affect you but to also maybe ask him to modify his behavior a little when it comes to the stuff that involves you (like leaving the gross stuff in the bathroom sink without wiping or rinsing the sink after he uses it).

If you have talked to your mother about the problem, and if she knows there's nothing she can do; then she will probably understand if you say, "I wish I could stay, but......" and go live with your father.

If this person is your mother's boyfriend/husband you can try talking to her, but if she hasn't found him objectionable before this; it may just be right that you decide to live with your father.

If, by any chance, you have an elderly grandfather living with you and your mother; there's not much she can do; and maybe you could try to be more understanding.

You shouldn't feel responsible for whoever it is that's doing this and that your mother is dealing with. Its either her own child, some guy she doesn't find gross, or her elderly father. Your mother is a grown up. There's also the chance, though, that this person is gross but may not be as gross as he seems to you. There are super-clean people, average people, and really really disgusting people. To the super-clean person many of the things the average person does are gross. Is there any chance it isn't so much that he's not clean but that you're very clean? (I'm not knocking "very clean". I'm someone who uses plastic baggies to pick up stuff from the floor. I just know, though, that because I'm as neat and clean as I am I can't always expect others to be quite so picky.)

You can try (and probably have tried) to be understanding or to overlook some things that could be beyond your mother's control. It could be, though, that she's ok with this and you're not; and the only way for you to be where its more the way you want it is to stay with your father. (Just remember, too, though, that life is different when someone visits than when they live somewhere. Visits just always tend to seem "practically perfect".)

If you've been a child or teenager over recent years and this person is a husband or boyfriend that your mother decided to bring into the house while you were still young, then one of the consequences she may have to face is that this person has caused you to move out. You don't have to hate her or this person, and you can be reasonable and polite about your need to move; but if she changed the picture to be as it is now, all you can do is figure out how you can change your own picture to make it more the way you want it.

One other thing to bear in mind: Is this person a horrendously gross person who is otherwise a nice and decent human being? If that's the case, you may need to overlook a little more.

Answer 2

It is nice that you want to protect Mom, So if you really stay, then you will have to compromise, with your Mom"s friend. Have you ever had a talk to Mom about him, may be she can talk to him, about some issues, because some times, people do things and they are not even aware of it. and also sometimes they just do not know what is right or wrong. Then again remember one thing, the only person you can change is yourself, so try and relax, and just try and do the best you can, all for your Mom. Now if you can"t take it any more, then go to Dad"s house for peace.

Answer 3

You are obviously old enough to choose where you live, so make that decision, and then be sure to visit your other parent regularly. Don't drive yourself crazy with guilt over your decision. Your parents' situations are not your fault and it is not your job to fix it. If you decide to stay with your mother, that's fine. Just don't do it with the idea that you are going to be able to "fix" anything by remaining there. It is not your job to fix her life. Your job is to build your own life. Concentrate on that.

Answer 4

flow on! The jerk jerked off at the same time as he had plans with you. So he replaced into no longer in touch about spending time with you he in basic terms wanted to get off. once that replaced into carried out, he completely ditched you. That shows that the friendship might want to no longer advise as a lot to him because it does to you. perhaps shop him as a buddy because you adult males have a lot historic previous mutually, yet certainly end dozing with him. now and again we'd want to be great emotional and fasten extra intending to activities than they honestly carry.

Answer 5

You should see how it works out. If you don't like it then ask your mom or dad if you can go on an schedule where you're at his house on monday wednesday friday and sunday and you're with your mom for the rest.

Answer 6

I think I missed the begining of your story.

Who is this that your mom is with?
Talk to your mom about it...and then try staying at your dad's for a while.

Answer 7

If you are miserable there, go to your dad. Your mom is an adult, she made the choice to be with that man, not you. She should care more about your feelings. If you go, maybe she will see things for herself. Good luck.

Answer 8

Well your mom knows what she can handle, it's going to be the same whether you stay or go. I think you should do what makes you happy right now cause if not you will pay later.

Answer 9

are you talking about your stepdad? he does not take a shower and smells. yuck. if you can not take the smell I would leave. I knew this woman who with her so called husband lived with me and my family six months. I think they bathed six times in the six months. the smell was real bad, so I know how you must feel. thank goodness they are out of my life forever

Answer 10

Who are you talking about, you moms bf?
If so, talk to your mom about it. She might not have a problem with it, and if she's happy just leave it alone.