An angry husband was complaining to his friend about his slovenly wife. "She never does any housework, I never get a cooked meal, everything's dirty, including her. I'm so fed up I sleep on my own and I wish she was dead."
The friend suggested that he try killing her with sex. It wasn't an offence, after all. So the man returned home, dragged his wife upstairs and kept her there the whole weekend.
By the time Monday morning came he could hardly drag himself to work, but when he came home that night the house was spotless, a steak was cooking and she was standing there with a sexy see-through nightie on.
"You see, darling," she said. "Treat me right and I'll treat you right."
A woman walks into the bedroom and says to her husband, "Honey, I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world!"
Replies the husband, "Really! Where are you going?"
A man with a fetish for very large women walks into a brothel. When asked what he wants, he says 'I want a really large woman - as big as possible.' He is shown this enormous woman, but he shakes his head - 'nope, not fat enough. Get someone bigger than that.' He is shown another, even more enormous woman. 'Nope, still not big enough. I tell you what - give me the biggest woman you have!'. He is shown the biggest woman who works in the brothel. She is unbelievably big - 'That's more like it!' He is taken off to a room by the woman, and presently is on top of her going about satisfying his sexual desires. After a few minutes of heaving and groaning, he suddenly stops and says to the woman -
'Sorry. Do you mind if I turn the light off?' to which the woman replies
'It's me, isn't it? I'm so big that you find me unattractive.' to which the man replies -
'No, not at all! I think you're a very attractive woman. It's just that the light bulb's burning my azz!'
2006-10-18 08:11:02 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
definitely the last one! I almost peed my pants.
2006-10-18 08:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by c_mitu89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one
2006-10-20 10:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one.
2006-10-18 15:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by Tab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first one
2006-10-18 15:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first one
2006-10-18 15:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Froggie! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All 3 were funny but I have to go with #1.
Thanks for the laugh
2006-10-18 15:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by queenbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like the first one and the last one the most
2006-10-18 18:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked them all....but 3 the best
2006-10-18 17:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The second is OK, but the third is a guilty pleasure
2006-10-18 15:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like them all but #3 was the funniest.
2006-10-18 15:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by starlight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋