Shy alone and depressed, Any wannabe shrinks out there?

Question

I'm really shy around people I don't know so I haven't really had any real friends in my life. Only people I will hang around with at school. Now I'm 20 with no friends and I can't get the balls to talk to females. Sometimes I get really unhappy but I don't show it.
What do you all think??

Answer 1

i aint a wannabe shrink but i can be a friend........

Answer 2

You are not alone. Many people feel the same way. I am also shy around big groups of people. I do better one on one. I hat eto admit this, but after a drink I am more sociable with others. But you are 20, so you have one more year before you can drink. I would start with a hobby you like---reading for example. Go to a book store and try talking to one person. Ask them a question about a book and see if you can keep the conversation going. This is good practice. Don't be hard on yourself, though. You just need to find others who feel like you do. Even if you just smile at someone it can start a conversation. You just need to learn how to keep talking. Once you get to know someone you can become friends. Don't give up....maybe even sign up for a karate class. The class is structured where you meet others, but it is one on one and you won't feel bombarded with a clique.

Answer 3

You know what I think, you need to hang out with me. I would toughen you up a bit take you some places that would cheer you up. I would find you a girl and laugh my a.s.s off about how it went. You just need a buddy a pale a friend you could email me if you would like i know i have had time like that many years ago but i took charge of the situation and it was the best thing i could have ever done.

Answer 4

I started out my teen years with horrible social anxiety. It was so bad I couldn’t leave my house. Today I am a US Navy Seal, I have traveled the world been on mission in Afghanistan, Iraq and a few other places.

I made a complete turn around, and ill tell you how. One of the few things I left the house for was to go to my mixed martial arts class were I would train in full contact fighting. One day my instructor told me I needed to get faster. But I was lost in how to go about it. I mean you can learn techniques do wait lifting to get stronger. But how do you get faster. I was told to pretend you are fast with each and every technique you do. Over time I got faster.

But I started to use that same technique for social anxiety. First off you need to act. Look at the people around you. Look at how calm they are in situations you would freak out in. And act like that. Imagine you are around girls or in a social environment, or picture yourself giving a speech, and imagine being calm, the calmest you have ever been.

But believe it is actually happening. When its actually happening take control of your thoughts and act. Like a shy actor taking the role of an out going character. The best time to imagine this is as often as possible, right before you go to bed and especially when your listing to music.

The other thing is DO NOT think. Your hole life you have been told think before you do. Well when it comes to this, don’t. Just do it. Like a robot, do it and don’t think about it.

There is an old saying that goes, be careful of your thoughts, they may become your actions, be carful of your actions they become your character, be carful of your character it might become you.

Imagine yourself shy you will be shy, Imagine yourself more out going and you will be outgoing.


The last thing is to visualize. When you breath in imagine the air going into your lungs and being sucked into your blood when it goes threw your body its pushing out pain, negative thoughts and weakness. Imagine it getting replaced by good thoughts, power, and a can do anything sense of thought.

Good luck I hope this helps
p.s. it takes time, but be patient with it

Answer 5

Keep the faith, you don't know how blessed you are, this has worked for alot of people, Just ask your Higher Power for a mate and wel-la you will have the person that you were met to be with, with out getting used in the process.

Answer 6

I used to be very shy and I noticed that the more I secluded myself...the quieter I got. And I bet you hate when people say "you're so quiet"...ugghhh I would hate that and it made even more quiet. Anyway, just try being around people more and force yourself to be involved in diff. things and you will grow out of it as you age. I guarentee it! Just be confident in yourself... people have to get to know you and see the person hiding inside you!

Answer 7

It sounds like you need to build up your self-esteem. I've heard there is a good online free course you can use online, so no one evens needs to know that you signed up for it. You're still young so you may grow out of your shyness, but maybe if you try the attached link, it may help. Good luck!

Answer 8

I think you have self esteem issues to deal with. The shyness is caused by lack of confidence. To get to know more people you should start with small talk or get involved in something you are interested in to help you meet people with similar interests. This may make it easier to talk to people.
Hope this helps.

Answer 9

I had the same problem and 2 years later i now have social anxiety and depression..u should seriously do something about it before its to late it will take over your life and ruin you

goodluck

Answer 10

i am just like you !
hmmm...sounds to me like anxiety. social anxiety. you see, i am really shy also, and my doc said i have social anxiety. so now, there are meds that i have to take. u interested in taking meds? maybe u should give it a try, i mean what have you got to lose? i know how lonely you must feel, believe me i feel the same way.

Answer 11

Man, just get out there and live life...females will talk to you when they want to...women are like cats...when you want to pet one they run away...but when they want attention they'll sure let you know and then they won't leave you be.