My fiancee lives with me, My mom already knows and so does my brother and sister, but my grandma doesnt have a clue we arent getting married until August of 2009 but I kind of think my family has a right to know, My dad doesnt know either, he really isnt a part of my life. His Dad doesnt like me because he is a racist and i am black. His mom really likes me and so does his little sister. I just dont know if we should tell them all just yet, though we are planning our wedding already. Do you have any advice on that and help with planning our wedding, no matter if you say something negative you wont change my mind about marrying the man of my dreams.
2006-10-18 07:32:59 · 25 answers · asked by ifoundmy1truelovewithinyou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, I'm not going to treat you like you're 15 even though you are. I'm assuming that you are young and mature in your own way. Planning a wedding is very hard work but it's definitely fun! I would suggest keeping the engagement under wraps until you are at least 17. You can tell his family and yours but I'm not sure how serious they will take you since the both of you are young (I'm assuming he's young too). Once you turn 18 and you want to marry, you need to figure out what kind of ceremony you can afford. Set a budget and stick to it. I would suggest going to www.theknot.com and set up a profile. It's free and it has everything you want to know about getting engaged, married and married life. Good luck to you and your fiance.
2006-10-18 08:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs_Rivera2U 2 · 2⤊ 8⤋
I am not knocking you being in love and I don't want to be rude. You might not think much of it now, but you will change as you get older and so will your fiancee. What we wanted at 15, 17 or 21 is not the same things we want at 25, 27 or 30. My advice is to slow down, don't worry about the wedding and telling everyone of your engagement. If you aren't getting married until 8/09, then I would just relax and enjoy being young (engaged or not). Then when it gets closer to time, see if you and your fiancee are even still together, then if you are, you will need to inform the rest of your family.
2006-10-18 15:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are afraid to tell your parents then you are doing something wrong. You aren't even old enough to craft proper sentences much less make reasonable decisions about marriage. 15 is FAR TOO YOUNG to be making decisions like this, much less to be planning a wedding.
Your wedding is 3 years away. What plans do you hope to make now? How do you expect to afford these plans? What kind of money could you *possibly* be making at 18 to be able to afford a wedding that you have to plan for (as opposed to a civil ceremony at the courthouse), be able to support a family, and be able to have a home together?
Why on earth is your fiance (one "e") living with you? Where on earth are you living that someone would allow this with a 15 year old? How old is this person?
As far as people not changing your mind about marrying 'the man of your dreams', you show right there that you are not mature enough to be getting married. And you certainly aren't "keepin it real". You don't ask questions if you don't care about the answers. At 15 you think that if the whole world were to tell you you were wrong, then the whole world is wrong. And "Man of my dreams"??? A 15 year old is not a man. And he certainly can't be the man of anyone's dreams if he's trying to figure out what to wear to school the next day and if he needs new shoes for PE. This is a Cinderella childish fantasy. Marriage isn't about just being with "the man of my dreams." It's about being best friends, having things in common, having similar beliefs, and having adult goals that you try to achieve together. I was a completely different person at 15 than I was at 21 even!
Why be in such a hurry? You have your whole life to get married! If you love him as much as you claim, then your love won't be marred by waiting until you finish college and have a real job so that you can support your life.
What a mess! Of course, should you decide to go ahead and get married, I wish you nothing but luck and happiness. And please, wait to have kids until you've been married for 5 years.
2006-10-18 16:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all I say to u good luck in everthing u decide to do. I hope the relationship lasts. You didn't mention how old he is tho, and the best answer would really need that factor too. It also depends on how mature these people treat u. If they think u are young then they would be less ready to accept the news. They would say u dont know what u are doing. Marriage isn't taken serious that much anymore, and u need to be sure this is what u want for the rest of you're life, it's not a game. This advice is coming from a 31y/o married mother of three who waited two years despite having kids. Once u go there, there's no going back.
2006-10-18 15:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jimmie 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think that there are several questions you should ask yourself:
How old is your fiance?
Is it legal for you to be entering into a binding contract of marriage because of your age in 2009?
What is the rush at your age?
Do you want to marry someone who's family doesn't care for you because you believe that he is racist? There is a HUGE bucket of issues here.
Why is your Mom allowing the 2 of you to live together? Have you/your Mom considered the legal ramifications of this?
Marriage is a commitment that 2 ADULTS should be entered into, not 2 children. I think that you seriously need to reconsider this engagement.
I also think that your Mother should start to act like an adult and put a stop to this. These are the types of the reasons that teenage parents are popping up all over our country and also a contributing factor as to why the welfare rate is so high. Children attempting to raise children is never a good idea.
Seek some professional help from a counselor or teacher in your community. There are lots of FREE centers that can provide assistance and provide some education on these topics.
2006-10-18 14:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
There are so many things I want to say here. Wow.
Ok, you are living on your own at age 15 such that your fiancee can move in with you? And how old is your fiancee? I noticed that you left that bit of information out. If he is 18 or older, he is in a lot of trouble, whether you welcome his affection or not.
It's my opinion that, at age 15, you still have a lot of growing and changing to do, but you don't want to hear that. You seem pretty convinced that you have it all figured out. I'd never want anyone to fall and get hurt, so I'll just wish you luck and happiness, however this all turns out.
2006-10-18 14:44:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Please take this as it is intended and not as being negative but, if you were so sure on what you were doing, why are you on yahoo answers asking for advice? Also, if you were so sure on what you were doing, it wouldn't matter when you told whoever you needed to tell.
How old is this man of your dreams? How could you possibly know this is the man of your dreams at 15? You will want different things as you mature to 18, 21, 25, 30, and older and they won't be the same things you want at 15.
Regardless, don't start planning August 2008. It's too soon and trends and styles change from year to year.
2006-10-18 14:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by eehco 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It seems to me that you are trying to prove somthing by being engaged so young. What I mean by that is...if this is the guy for you then that's great. He lives with you...that's a little different. But why the rush to be engaged? It seems that you are trying to prove to your family or whoever that you are serious about being together. Enjoy this season of your life. Go on dates have fun, and in two years if you are still in love then, wonderful. Get engaged. But darling, things change and you need to be open to that. And I would seek some wise counsel instead of Yahoo Answers. Sure it's fun for some stuff, but major life-chaning decisions, I would look to someone I knew.
2006-10-18 16:35:11 · answer #8 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Okay, although I would say that 15 is a bit young to be getting engaged, I do have to say that once you know you've met the man you want to spend your life with, you just know. I am in the process of getting engaged right now and I know personally, the first people I told were my family...but I also have a good relationship. I think it is important to tell the people you love the most because they will be the people who will be with you through the entire process. They can usually offer valid advice and opinions that you will respect. If you aren't comfortable telling certain family members, then wait. However, be prepared that they might feel hurt if everyone else knew before them. Basically, this is about you and your fiance planning your new life together. Good luck and follow your heart!
2006-10-18 14:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by MyrtleB831 2 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Hello, I am going to give the other side of the coin. I had a friend who ran away at 15 and got married,her family did their best to try to get this marriage annul ed, she told them if they continued she would get pregnant, she had her daughter on her first anniversary, On her 32 birthday she and same husband became grandparents,I am not sure where she would be right now as she is 63, but if both are still alive then both are still together. So it is true that some one as young as you can know,but to use my friends words, there wasn't a day that we did not have to work to keep us together. in ending I wish you well and remember you have to do the work
2006-10-18 15:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If part of your family knows, than tell the rest of them. If you're not close to your dad, I would still suggest telling him, even if he doesn't participate in the wedding. (Which might be easier on you.) If you truely love someone don't let anyone keep you apart, not even your family.
Good luck, sweetheart.
2006-10-18 17:00:14 · answer #11 · answered by Kharm 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋