when we get married and move in together? Or will it be the same?
2006-10-18 07:21:02 · 13 answers · asked by DDee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not only will your boyfriend change, but you will too. The important thing is that you change together and come out still loving each other just as much, if not more. Marriage takes a lot of work, it isn't always flowers and candy. It can be frustrating and irritating because no matter how perfect your boyfriend, fiance, or husband appears to be in your eyes, living together brings out all the annoying habits and imperfections. Just understand that no one is perfect and everyone has their own way of doing things. Marriage takes compromise on both sides. Chances are you will both learn to adapt to each other. Don't forget though, you are spending every day with the man you love most in the entire world....that doesn't sound too bad to me so just stress about it, just enjoy the future together. Good luck!!
2006-10-18 07:49:11 · answer #1 · answered by MyrtleB831 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will DEFINITELY change! No matter how much time you spend with someone, it is not the same as when you are living with someone. When you are just dating someone, even if you spend all of your time together, you are still on better behavior when you are at his house and he is on better behavior when he is at your house. Once you move in, your comfort level changes. All boundaries cease to exist and your whole relationship changes. There's no more "I'm in a bad mood and I just need some space." There is no space. You live together. There's no more "We just had a fight, so I'm going home." You live together, you are home. There's no more, "I miss you because I didn't see you last night." You see him every night, you share a bed and live together.
For example, my boyfriend didn't realize how much of a slob I was until we moved in together! I hate cleaning, but even when I was staying here 5-6 nights a week, I was much cleaner than I am now! Like I said...all boundaries, gone. All "being on best behavior," gone.
It totally changes!
2006-10-18 07:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it will change; but not necessarily in a bad way. Btw, don't listen to these people who say that you don't know someone until you share a lease. That simply isn't true. There are people who've lived together for years and still don't truly know one another. So don't fall for the lie that living together means your relationship is more "mature" and "serious." Often, it's the exact opposite -- two people who are too indecisive to make a REAL commitment.
Either way though, it's all about the two individuals involved. As far as learning each other's personal habits (as stated in the answer below mine) like farting during football games or taking two hour showers -- you don't have to live together to know those things. You can still spend lots of time with each other at each other's places and learn just as much. So I still say that's a cop-out sort of approach for people who are too scared of real commitment.
JMO.
2006-10-18 08:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things change when you move in together, whether or not you're married. It is different when you have to live with the person... It gets much more... well... personal. There will be a few power struggles here and there as you both re-asses your "territory" - it's normal. Both of you will have to learn to take the other person into account at ALL times, not just when it's desirable or convenient. Both of you will have to put up with the other's "moods", with them wanting to do something completely opposite from what you want to do, with their annoying habits. But... the reward is great! It is wonderful to share love and companionship. Good luck.
2006-10-18 07:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will probably not change you personally but it will change the relationship. My husband insisted I move in with him before we married and I'm glad I did, I knew exactly what I was committing to the day I said "I do". You will become much more aware of your bf's personal habits and he of yours. You may have a perfect gentleman on dates but discover his fondness for farting and football when you move in. He may be surprised by your 2 hour shower routine and PMS. There will be no escaping the little things and no breathing room when things don't turn out perfectly. If you can deal with all that it will only make your relationship better.
2006-10-18 08:44:57 · answer #5 · answered by Meems 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know how exciting it is now? Well, forget that part. You said boyfriend and not fiance so I guess your daydreaming rather than engaged. Marriage is a really hard job 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You have to be able to give 100% every day. 50/50 is doomed from the start as that means you are only willing to give it half of your effort.
2006-10-18 07:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want things to change, perhaps he is not the right one for you. Maybe you should consider slowing things down a little. If things aren't right to begin with, marriage will just make everything worse. I am speaking from experience. I was married at 18 and hoped that marriage would cause him to settle down. It didn't, and when I did try to discuss the things that I didn't like that were going on he told me, "You knew about this before we were married."
2006-10-18 07:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by imtami75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yes, it will change. Living together is a huge transition. From my experience, moving in together was harder than getting married!
2006-10-18 09:31:01 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage makes everything better and brighter. The things that are good now will be more wonderful. The problems are easier to deal with, because of the commitment you have to one another.
2006-10-18 08:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh living together changes things, because you begin to know each other. Unfortunately, few are perfect like me and this is dissolutioning.
2006-10-18 07:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋