What favorite quotes crack you up, keeps you going, and or builds you up???

Question

Example:
CRACKS ME UP:
"ALRIGHTY THEN!" - Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

KEEPS ME GOING:
2 Corinthians 4:13-14
"It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence."

BUILDS ME UP:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -
Eleanor Roosevelt

Answer 1

CRACKS ME UP:
Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont): As chairman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms."
Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx): Is that so? How late do you stay open?
***********************************************
KEEPS ME GOING:
...Deuteronomy 8:18 - "In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end.
...Romans 8:28-29 -
28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
***********************************************
BUILDS ME UP:
Romans 8:31-32 & 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
...Romans 8:31-32 - What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
...2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Answer 2

Cracks me up:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"
- Albert Einstein -

Keeps me going:
“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day”
- The Dalai Lama -

Builds Me Up:
"But when one masters this wretched desire, which is so hard to overcome, then one's sorrows just drop off, like a drop of water off a lotus"
- Buddha -

Answer 3

Cracks me up: 'Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?' (?)
'Some mornings it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps.'-Emo Phillips
*****
Keeps me going: 'A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water'-Eleanor Roosevelt
'If there was no change, there'd be no butterflies' (?)
*****
Builds me up: 'Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' (?)
'A rose that blooms in the winter is the rarest gift of all' (?)

Answer 4

"I am a cypher...wrapped in an enigma and smothered in secret sauce." - Jimmy James (Newsradio)

When you're swimming in the creek, And an eel bites your cheek,
That's a moray! - Fabulous Furry Freak Bros.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. - Harlan Ellison

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

Answer 5

Builds me up:
Romans 8:18

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Answer 6

Cracks me up:
"Check those corners..." - Aliens

Keeps me going:
"Pay attention."

Builds me up:
"Fear cannot occupy the same space as Love."

Answer 7

cracks me up:

2 Kings 2:23-24 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)
Public Domain



23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Answer 8

The words "Jesus looked on him and loved him" make me feel loved too.

And I don't know why, but the expression "nuke the whales" cracks me up. I like whales, but it just does. :-)

Answer 9

This one "builds me up" and keeps me going when I try to do something and fail...
"A setback is a setup for a comeback"!

Answer 10

"YOU WREAK OF FEAR!!" - the league of extraordinary gentlemen.

"John 20:29 Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed. Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed."

Those of us who are truly happy, are those of us who are truly thankful. ~ Mary eva:o]