Open Relationships?

Question

Im in an 'OPEN relationship' and my question is whats your definition of it? I was ok with it,but now its kinda getting personal. I feel different about it now that we have been together longer than 10 months. I feel like im leaving myself open to stds.

He's the one afraid of commitment. When we first met all we did was mess around. But now we are starting to get more exclusive we probably havent had sex with anyone in 4 months. But it was just yesturday that he mentioned we were in an open relationship and I really didnt like the way it sounded. We havent been sleeping around, but im starting to get to the point where i want him to myself and he is all i want.

Answer 1

You need to follow your heart. If you are not into it and he is then maybe you need to rethink your relationship. My best friend and her husband of 9 years are getting divorced because of this same thing. He wants to swing and she feels like its cheating and refuses. Relationships involve much more than the sex.

Answer 2

The only people an "open" relationship works for is Men. That is they want the okay to be with someone they care about, but the openess to be able to nail any other peice of A** they want if the opprotunity comes along.
If you have not & don't feel like having anyone else, that needs to be addressed between you & him. If he doesn't feel this way, than you need to go. If you have been this way for this long & have not built a relationship, you never will. If he could not commit to you by now, he never will.
You are right, you are leaving yourself open to STDs & other things. Some of the STDs can be taken care of with a shot of anti-biotics, but we are not just talking about that. We are talking about luggage - you carry for life - like Hepetitis, Herpes - not to mention the one that can end your life - AIDS. In this time, we are starting to recognize the dangers of living a life full of multiple sex partners & the "fun" that can be had by playing the field. We cannot forget that we are also subject to the consequences of that life style. Not only does playing the field leave it open to multiple sex partners, fun flings, crazy partying, but also open sores, infertility, contagion, & death!
Make your decision, then enforce it. If he is not willing to make that commitment, go your separate ways. When we talk about our hearts - there is no open relationship. There is love & commitment or there is not! Don't sell yourself short. You deserve to give yourself love & not just that minutes gratification. Be true to you!

Answer 3

Okay, you want him all to yourself & he's all you want, but he's reminding you that ya'll are in an open relationship. Sounds to me like the two of you need to sit down & talk about what you want & where this relationship is headed. State how you feel; tell him that he's all you want. Be prepared for a different answer - if he has commitment issues, he might not be feeling the same way. Saying the two of you have an open relationship leaves him an "out" in case he starts to feel jittery about getting tooo close to you. But the most important thing is that you seriously need to communicate with one another. You've got to lay it all out & work through it - the good & the bad, what you need, what you want.
Good luck - it's hard work, but if it goes right it will be worth it when you end up with a solid relationship. Oh yeah, try to be more careful or you will end up with std's. Not worth it.

Answer 4

My definition of an open relationship, is one where both people can see other people. Perhaps he has another woman in mind, if he brought up the "open" thing again. I would talk to him about being exclusive, and he doesn't want to get on board, then you have to make the tough decision of if he's really worth it to you or not. (and by the way, I agree with you and your feeling of opening yourself up to STD's...just be careful!) You are more open minded than I am, because I could never be involved in an open relationship. It has to be exclusive all the way for me. Good luck! I hope he's a good man and decides that he can be with you exclusively.

Answer 5

I don't believe in open relationships, If your spending your time with someone it should be a possible future husband, and if you care that much about him how can you let him mess around with other girls, you need to find out what he really feels for you and if he still cant commit I would move on to someone who found me more special.
Good Luck Girl, I hope that helped.

Answer 6

wow, open relationships are are difficult. It seems that someone always ends up getting hurt. If u want to be in a committed relationship and he doesn't then u are never going to be happy. Please use protection!! Also try to talk to him openly and honestly about how u feel maybe he feels the same way.

Answer 7

I have been with my fiance for nearly 19 months. We have been "Swinging" for 9 months. We haven't played in awhile, but the availability is always there. sex is sex. We love each other and will be together for the rest of our lives. If he wants to go sc*rew something, or I do, as long as condoms are involved and we follow the rules we set up together there is no problem.

Answer 8

What's the point? If it's open, you are being used and dragged along, and giving him an invitation to not commit. Time to grow up and stand up for yourself and not settle for someone who obviously is not in the relationship 100%.

Answer 9

Open relationships are just defined as one thing. Swinging and nothing else. If you can handle it then good for you if not then well time to throw in the towel and talk to your man about it. If he feels anything for you then he will agree with you. If not then it's time to move on or suck it up and continue. IMO it hurts who ever does it even if they say it don't.

Answer 10

mmmmm... I assume you feel very bad about this issue, All I can really advice you is to talk to him...explain to him that you really dont agree on this open thing he wants....put your cards on the table..tell him you are not willing to agree on this since you are simply NOT interested in anybody else or will be..and you feel that if later on you feel the attraction for somebody else,you prefer to close the deal with him and be sincere. Explain to him you are a madure young woman,who has to take care of herself and her child and is not willing to play this sort of game where a lot of std are around. If he likes it great! if he does not agree with you..then its your desicion as if you want to be with a person who does not value your opinion and desicions..Good LuckSweetie...