I need your help, people!!!!?

Question

I am bi-polar, have been for years. Infact my dad , my brother, and a few other people in my family have this disorder. I am on Lithium, and Seroquel. The medicine works very good, but I still have days where I get '' on edge '', if any of you are bi-polar, you know what I mean. I need to know how do I explain to my wife that the medicine is not a cure? Because when I do have a bad day, she starts running her mouth on me and says the medicine doesn't work, but I know it does work. She is always putting me down. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

This goes to '' RED ROVER, '' When I said I have bad days or i'm on edge I don't say anything out of the way to anybody, I stay to myself! I go to be alone and my wife runs her mouth on me, I don't run it on her! YOU JERK!!!!! P.S. YOUR A WIMP BECAUSE A REAL MAN GETS HELP WITH HIS PROBLEMS!

Answer 1

i know exactly how u feel. except i am not bi-polar, i have severe depression. but people, especially my Mom (who, just like your wife) runs her mouth on me. she gives me lip on how the medicine isn't working and ****. i'm really tired of it. but you know, the only people who truly understand what you are going through, are the ones who have been through it themselves. your wife (like my mom) hasn't gone through what you have, and has no idea how to cope with it. so instead, she bashes you (like my mom bashes me), telling you the meds aren't working...blame it on the meds. when in fact, the meds ArE working, they're not a cure. everyone thinks that medicine is a cure. realistically, no disease on this earth has a cure, not even for the common cold...so...if there's no cure for the common cold, then how can there be a cure for bi-polar disorder? ...you should probably just tell your wife to be more patient with you...tell her to stop running her mouth, because she is only making it harder for you.

good luck

Answer 2

When you have a "bad day" as you call it, your wife obviously is getting the brunt of it. Any human being will automatically respond to ill treatment, no matter if she understands the cause of it or not. Her instincts are to deter it, repel it, stop it. And of course she's right in one sense that the medicine doesn't work, as on those occasions it's NOT sufficient to calm you down - am I not correct?
So what she's doing is trying to get you to calm yourself down. Think about this - what are her alternatives? To just tolerate the abuse, and say something soothing? Probably not humanly possible on every occasion. Should she leave the room? Perhaps she does and perhaps you follow her.
If her putting you down is such a problem for you, you are perhaps a wimp along with being bipolar. Your disease is not entirely beyond your control and being a wimp IS something within your control. Get over your reaction or get a new wife. But my guess is she has always reacted in this fashion, and you know you are lucky you have any wife at all, considering you are far from the ideal catch.
So you are ill. You have gotten help for this. Now help yourself a bit. Suck it up and move on.

I predicted you will hate this answer because it contains some truths that you don't want to hear. You came here for sympathy and support for the rationalizations that you use to absolve you from any blame, and let you continue on your wimps travels down the road of a self anointed helpless victim of life.

Answer 3

If this is true then your wife does not understand your disease properly. This is completely understandable, but means that there is a communication problem, and i would suggest that you find some calm way of telling her as much as you can about your disorder and how it affects you. Also, encourage her to read literature around the subject of which there is a lot, and if all else fails look into finding a group that you could go to, to meet others who are Bi-Polar and the people who support them.

Important thing is always to keep talking and talking, especially on 'good' days when your wife is more likely to listen.

Answer 4

Communication is key. Sit down with her and talk to her about how you are feeling, talk to her about the medication and how she makes you feel when she starts running her mouth. Most women get upset at their husbands every now and again and vice versa. NOW, THEN try this: put aside the "bi-polar" issue completely for a little while, put "bi-polar" on the shelf and the medication put on a shelf, you are not to discuss either of things at all. Forget bipolar and forget medication as experiment. Now start discussing and communicating about everything else in your lives together. When you do this, you will find that you being "bi-polar" and the medication is actually not the real source of your problem(s). You will find that it is only a symptom of a larger issue. Don't focus on the symptoms, focus on the cause of the symptoms.

Answer 5

I am bipolar and was told this 27 years ago. I have taken almost all meds. (in different doses and combinations) that are available. Some worked very well for me, but nothing ever completely took care of all my symptoms. I don't think that's possible. Your wife needs to understand that if we could help the way we are, we would. If they think they have a hard time understanding, they should feel what we feel. how can we make them understand something we can't even understand ourselves. Would we not be the first to want all the things we have no control over to go away?! We have to suffer through our problems plus all the ones others have with us. Please ask your wife to email and talk with me. If some of us ignored our problem and did nothing I could see their frustration, but when ones like us have admitted we have a problem, taking meds. and doing the best we can to feel normal....What else can we do? If they had a complete cure...Don't they realize we would be the first in line!

Answer 6

My son took Seroquel for 2 1/2 years.

Days where you are "on edge" are common and normal.

My son says this: "My meds are there to help me be the best person I can be. My problem is that my brain and body don't work together like most other people's. I need my meds to help control my emotional responses. I go to therapy to learn how to deal with myself because my meds can only do part of the work, I have to do the rest. If I didn't take my meds, I would be messed up a lot more than I am on them."

You have to find some support for yourself on "bad days". Take your wife to the doctor with you and have him/her explain your condition. Ask your wife to write down any questions she has before you both go, that way she won't forget AND the doctor can address her concerns. Good luck....I feel for you and hope this helped!

Answer 7

The thing that many people do not understand about mental illness (and it sounds like your wife may fall into this category) is that it really is an illness, that depression, or OCD, or bipolar disorder is just as "real" as pneumonia or renal failure, or even a broken bone. There is a tendency to blame people for being unable to control mental disease, as if it were somehow volitional, as if someone suffering from OCD can just stop doing the same thing over and over or a manic person can just calm down.
We cannot cure bipolar disorder, but we can treat it, much like high blood pressure or a diabetic's blood sugar. On any given day the treatment may be effective, or something may happen and it may not be, we don't have perfect treatments for that (or really, much of anything else) yet.

Answer 8

I feel you man. I use my faith in Jesus and I feel better. I know that God made me this way and though I trying to change it He knows I love Him and He helps me through it. Some things in life aren't fair I don't even have a girlfriend so kuddos to you for the wife. God would n't have given you the problem if you thought you couldn't handle it. You just need to have faith. If you want e-mail me and we can talk about it more. I know what it is like to suffer look for the bight side and find it in your self. Medication may be right or wrong. Talk your doctor before doing anything with it that isn't directed because, again, trust me taking it wrong really make s things a hell of a lot worse. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

Check out www.hufa.org, the symptoms page - not for yourself (although learning about low blood sugar may help explain your bad days) but for her. If she is approaching 40 years old, she is approaching peri-menopause, which can cause a blood sugar imbalance to get worse - causing more symptoms.

The thing is that your "bad" days may track with her menstrual cycle, when she may get *****y, due to her hormones. The book recommended in the library link "Enter the Zone" gives a bit of detail on how the feminine hormone cycle affects emotions.

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

I got this a lot! I worked with people just like you and their families. You need to refer her to National Association for Mental Illness (NAMI) for education and support. Maybe have her go with you to the psychiartist and have them explain because you are sooooooo right that meds are a banda aid not a cure. You may also want to bring up that it is not helpful for her to be that way, you know "if you dont have anything nice to say..." I'm SURE she has something superstitious that she does that makes even less sense then what she is trying to tell you. I know that Texas has this great thing called TIMA Family education and supports. TIMA= Texas Implimentaion of Medical Algorithms. You may be about to google it and find helpful brocures, posters and worksheets that i used in my practice.

Hope this helps.