My 18 month old son is extremely attached to me, and screams and cries and pulls me everytime I drop him off at daycare, seems normal to me, however the teachers at his daycare have told me on and off that he is extremely attached to his teacher, that didn't concern me because I felt like at least he likes her, and she must treat him well when I'm not there, but the director told me today that he is extremely attached to his teacher, more than she has ever seen any kid, and they have a lot of kids there. Apparently when she goes to leave the room or they try to take him to another room, he does the same thing with his teacher that he does with me. Should I be concerned or is this normal. I would think it would be normal, but the director didn't seem to think so. I only have the one kid, but they deal with at least 50 or more a day, so seems like they would know better than me.
2006-10-18 06:22:58 · 8 answers · asked by katjha2005 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well, she's kind of like his "other mom" when he's at daycare. He's attached to you at home and her at daycare. It'll pass as he gets older and more independent. It's just a phase..don't worry :-)
2006-10-18 06:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he attachs himself to the "mommy" on duty - whether it is you or his teacher.
If your daycare has 50 kids (wow!) hopefully they separate into smaller "classes" so your son gets some individual attention? If he's got a working mommy and a huge daycare, he might really be needing more personal attention.
Be sure he has plenty of one-on-one engaged time with you and a good routine. Maybe you two spend some time coloring when he gets home from daycare. Toddlers thrive on routine and knowing that he's got some special time with you each day might make the difference.
Assuming he's got smaller groups at daycare, and plenty of time with you, I would give it some time to see it it's just a phase. Try leaving him with other caregivers (his dad, grandparents, babysitter) to get him used to the idea that it's okay to be apart from mommy and she's always coming back.
2006-10-18 14:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any chance you can have him there less and with you more? Sometimes some kids really NEED their moms and even if you've paid for the care, if you have a day off or if you get off work early, spend as much time as possible with him. This extent of attachment is just feelings of insecurity and a deep need for intimate motherly care. Some kids really need that and when they do get it, THEY will then let go, but they have to feel like they're letting go first, before they're secure.
This is actually a sign of a very caring and wonderful child. He just needs your reassurance, his serogate "mom" (his teacher) is just a desperate substitute. Give him time and attention and hugs and kisses and reading time and cuddle time beyond his imagination and he'll let go when he feels satisfied. You'll be pretty satisfied too. It won't be long before he won't need you so much.
2006-10-18 13:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you leave to go somewhere, do you coddle him alot and wait till he calms down? This is not a good practice. Also, whoever is looking after him while you are going has to hold him, and show him what to do when he sees you leaving.
Take your leave quickly, do not linger. The person holding your child should take him to the window where he can see you and wave "bye bye" with him, and say, "Mommie is coming back, lets go read a story while we're waiting for her."
You have to repeat this with him several times before he gets it. It is difficult, for you are also attached to him, and you have to also wean away from him. He still is young enough that he should be within 10 feet of an adult at all times, this is the time when he will be getting into all kinds of things, and at this time in his life, he is using his entire brain. He is learning quickly right now, so he will adapt much sooner than you think.
2006-10-18 13:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some kids are just like that If he's still doing this at 3 then worry. 18 months is when seperation anxiety really kicks in and that is developmentally appropriate.
2006-10-19 11:26:10 · answer #5 · answered by stargirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert but in my experience, both my kids were ver clingy at that age - I think it was due to teeth, everytime one of them was getting new teeth they got very clingy, or if they werent feeling well. Boys are supposedly clingier than girls, but that's just what my friends say. Also separation anxiety has a few peaks, perhaps this is one of them.
Good Luck
2006-10-18 14:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by pookyface 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he doesnt get out enough. He needs to be in more situations where he learns to find confidence in interacting with others and not just an individual.
Church, play groups, friends and family, get him out as much as possible, and have him interact with people and children his age.
It does seem his behavior is a bit extreme.
2006-10-18 13:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i wouldn't worry he just passed on his separation anxiety to his teacher while he is at school...might be a problem if he doesn't want to go home w/you!! i wouldn't worry children are individuals just like us and like some people more than others
2006-10-18 13:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lori C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋