why does my almost 2 yr old listen to my hubby when he tells him to do something...but laughs at me? lol?

Question

im as stern as my hubby when telling him to do something that he shouldnt be doing...but he laughs at me like im just joking around

Answer 1

You may THINK you're both as "stern", which BTW, really isn't the whole issue, but as one person asked, are you not following through with things you tell him to do? Your husband may be more matter-of-fact, as many men are, and your child picks up on this. Possibly, he knows your husband won't waste time arguing or giving up if there's a fuss. We have a teen and his father is usually much more direct and less patient w/arguing than I am.

It's also true that children tend to be LESS inclined to obey the person with whom they're most familiar, who's around more (you) and MORE inclined to obey a person they know less well. Stay-at-home dads often report a reversal of what you report!

In a dramatic example of this, I went to school w/nuns 'til 6th grade and, though I was a terror at home, I obeyed the nuns without question. IMO, I was very unsure WHAT they'd do...or how far their punishments would go if I disobeyed, whereas I knew EXACTLY what my mom would do.

Another thing that may make a difference is that kids will often obey the stern parent who shows more affection and gives positive feedback. That's why I obeyed my dad but not my mom.

At the site below, there are many straightforward, proven ideas for disciplining pre-schoolers (remember, "reasoning" with or "grounding" a 2-year-old is useless, so you need other techniques), like time-outs, distracting and offering "good behavior" alternatives they'll like.

There's also a forum on this site, which looks pretty good.

Another thing you could do is leave your husband alone w/your child for a whole day, while you go do something fun! You MIGHT find him complaining of the same thing you do...

Remember, though: enjoy your child now (I though the 2's were some of the most fun!)...he'll be moving out before you know it!

Answer 2

Are you a stay at home mom?? I have the same problem with my daughter. I can be just as stern as my hubby but since I'm home with her all day it seems like she has built up an 'immunity' to my voice..lol Good luck and if you figure out how to get him to listen.let me know..lol

Answer 3

Some time in the past you let him get away with not listening to you and now you are just joking around to him because he knows you're not really serious. In his mind its a game that you play with him. As for your husband, most men have that affect on kids that age. I know I do.

Answer 4

If you spend more time playing with your 2 year old he may associate you with fun, whereas he may see daddy (yes from such an early age) as the authoritarian or disciplinarian figure.

Answer 5

I agree with others. I think it has to do with follow-through. My friend has the opposite situation as you -- her son listens to her but not her husband because he never follows through on putting the kid in time out, or taking away the (fill in the blank), etc.

Consistency is key.

Answer 6

it is a proven fact that the same sex parent or guardian is the one the child looks up to. my son does it to me ALL the time. i will tell him to do something and he won't do it and then i say daddy and all he has to do is look at him, and he does it. it is perfectly normal. he will get over it and then the shoes will be on the other foot for a while

Answer 7

I also have this same problem with my 20 month old boys. I think its because men have deeper voices, and like others have mentioned, we moms usually spend more time with them and they get used to our voices. Also, like others have said make sure you follow through with whatever you say you are going to do.

Answer 8

Do you ever tell him you're going to do something and then not to do it? like "If you dont do this, I am going to spank you (or take away your toys, etc)" if you say something like this, you have to act upon it. If you dont, they will never take you serious.

On the other hand, I am sure that your husband is not lenient and if he says he is going to do something, he will. Or it could have just been one time when he punished your son that your son got the picture.

Answer 9

make sureyou always follow threw annd dont give up and doit yourself say i will countto 5 if you dont go a pick it up you will sit on the naughtey step and follow threw also say mummys not laughin in a sternvoice good luckx

Answer 10

it could be the fact that your hubby is male and males tend to have a strong reaction to children. i think your child takes him more seriously. try having your hubby tell your child to take you seriously and to listen to you.