i was needing some advice about my daughter, she is 16 and will be 17 in april. she is really disruptive to my family and to me, she is always getting into trouble wont mind anything we say hates her brother and we have had it. i am considering letting her move in with her fathers sister next summer however, her father is a horrible drunk and i am not really wanting her around that enviroment but at the same time she will be 17 and will most likely go there when she is 18. any suggestions please no smart *** answers.
2006-10-18 06:13:17 · 11 answers · asked by jaada2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think sending her away is the answer. As bad as a child can behave, they still need and want their parents. Hang in there. Be consistent, reiterate how much you love and care for her and want her in your life. And I have to echo the therapy suggestion. My family did therapy and it literally saved us.
2006-10-18 06:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by Angela B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just feels like no one is listening to her. Do you remember being that age and wanting to be treated like an adult but not being treated like one? My mother and I still have an awesome relationship yes I had my rebelious hell-raising stages, but somehow we made it. She let me know that at all times no matter what I could always come to her for help. She let me move out at the age of 17. I've done it on my own since, now I'm 26 and she is my best friend in the world. My #1 fan as she puts it. Let your daughter go if it's that disruptive to the family. She needs to learn from her own mistakes(hopefully she will) but keep the door open for her if she needs help. A few years down the road you two will be laughing about this stage. Trust me.
2006-10-18 06:24:16 · answer #2 · answered by bird_e80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation that is difficult as she is almost an adult. Obviously she is reacting to some situation occuring in her life. She is very upset either with herself or the environment she is in. I suggest letting her make up her own mind. Maybe see if she'll talk to a counselor and you go too--that way they can assist with the communication in this situation. That age is hard because they think they know everything and so much is going on with their bodies and they just don't have the maturity to understand some of the consequences that come with making bad choices. Do you have a church, school counselor or community mental health agency that can help at no cost? Please research around to find someone that will help. Anyone just ever ask her why she is acting out so badly? Why she has a need to be so self destructive? She definitely needs empowering and to understand that her life is just beginning. Is she working...going to school...if it is college time, take her and sign her up--take loans out--she'll be a better person for it--and you will be a better parent. Don't give up--she may have to take care of you someday. Peace to you.
2006-10-18 06:19:57 · answer #3 · answered by MicG 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ah, the teenage years, the times to test parents....they look at you like your an idiot, and couldn't possibly know what it is like to be their age....it was "mom", then all of a sudden it was "mother!".....went through the defiant era myself...but all kids are different, home lives are different, and levels of dicipline are different..what will work, and what won't...at 16, almost 17, and she is getting into trouble, believe me her father a drunk is low on the level of the things she has been exposed to...stuff us parents just don't want to even know about....If you put your foot down with the "this is my house, and as long as you live under our roof....", well at her age, there is the chance she could run away...that wouldn't be good. But you can't have your house run by a teenager that is absurd...and sounds like she tries to run you, cause you have had it, so there must be on going battles to get her to do the right things and not fight with her brother, and you two?....she thinks she is calling the shots, and kinda is if she is disrupting the household...You can either tell her point blank the BS is over, this is your house, and she either abides by the rules, or she can live at her aunts...However!!!, her aunt HAS to back you up on this, by setting RULES herself....that your daughter has to go by, or she doesn't get to live there either....I wouldn't worry about her father unless he is abusive, she's seen worse than that believe me....although young, thinking she knows it all, him being a drunk will only dissapoint her, not lead her into drinking herself.....her aunt is willing?....RULES, or she doesn't go, and if not, then you need to toughen up, and let her know who runs the house, that her behavior is unexceptable, and she can be sent off to teenage boot camp!!!!!!
2006-10-18 06:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent and she is the child and should be treated as such. Let her know that if she is unwilling to follow your house rules she will be put out the house. YOU have to pick your battles..you dont want her in the enviroment where her father is a drunk but you will ALLOW her to continue to be on b*tch mode in the home you have provided for her and your son? She NEEDS a reality check and YOU need to put your foot down!
2006-10-18 06:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Her father isnt going to care about anything she does and she will end up pregnant or on drugs or even worse a prosititue. Not to go to extremes or say anything bad on your daughter but it would be better for her to stay with you and you try and control her until she is 18. You are oviously bright and want her to have a good future, so dont send her to her dads where she will have no supervision.
2006-10-18 06:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for what you must be going through she is at such a difficult age and has no respect for her family how does one hate their brother so sad she needs to talk about her actions and anger that is building in side i know you and your son are hurting but she is too try to hold her and tell her you love her and to please tell mom wants wrong just try it if you both cry its ok ..tell her ..her brother hurts so much because hate is such a a terrible feeling please try to get her back if she goes to live with some one else you will never get her back too being your daughter bless you and your kids and try .....sureillll
2006-10-18 07:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but your daughter sounds like a b*tch!!! I was the same way and then when i moved out i got some freedom and right now i am in college studying to be a plastic surgeon!
2006-10-18 06:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Ariel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her leave it sounds like you both need a break from each other. Sometimes kids need to grow and their is nothing like the real to help out with that.
2006-10-18 06:23:44 · answer #9 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids like that need to be kicked out of there house so they can know how the real world is..
2006-10-18 06:21:13 · answer #10 · answered by ♫♥♪♬♥♪Try Me♫♥♪♫♥♪♬ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋