going home. They have been together for approx the past three years in foster care...and it's time for one of them to go home. The judge will make the ruling in the a.m. Right now, they don't see much of each other due to the fact that one has been on overnight visits more and more. Just one of the phases of reunificaiton fostering.
Any suggestions would be great...both kids are 4 years old...and they really don't understand why their life is like it is...they think "visiting mommy" twice a week is normal and that every child lives like this.
We still get to have contact with him, as his bio mommy and I have developed a relationship...she has agreed to let me have him spend the night, come over for play dates etc...which we think is great.
2006-10-18 05:30:14 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Green Eyes
We are in a type of fostering that the goal is reunification...to actually send these children home after the parent(s) have been through whatever it is they need to fix. In his case, no we can't adopt him as the judge is going to order for us to send him home. The other foster child we have isn't going to be that lucky...they are going to term his parents rights in the next few weeks and yes we are going to adopt (at least try...lots of paperwork involved in this type of adoption).
2006-10-18 05:55:12 · update #1
i was a foster child. you need to just explain to the other child that the one leaving is going to go live with "visiting mommy" and that he/she will still be able to see and play with him/her once and awhile. Hopefully everything goes well with the child going home because then thing swill get really confusing for the kids if the one returns to stay.
3 years seems like along time for a child to be in foster care here after 18 months parental rights can be revoked after three adjudications.
i am not sure of the child's situation or bio-moms but it don't seem right that it took 3 years for her to get her crap together and now gets to have the child when the child probably knows you as mom and knows you a lot better.Good luck to you and the children my heart goes out to you all
sorry just frustrating and not fair to you or the child.
2006-10-18 06:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by my babies 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in that situation but what I would do is tell them both at the same time that the one going home is going to be with his mommy a lot more and make it known...stress the fact...that he will still come over and play and spend the night and try not to show that you are sad about it. Act like it is a happy thing and ask how they feel about it. Let them know that they will still see each other and play and have fun just like always.
2006-10-18 12:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats hard. what you should do is just tell the truth . tell the child that is staying with you that the other ones mommy needs to have him back now. that he will still stay with you on some nights and he will see him alot . try hard to make him understand the whys. good luck to you. and you really are doing a great job. we need more moms like you.
2006-10-18 12:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's great that you have a good relationship with bio mom it's going to make the transition much easier.
i can appreciate your quandary. i fostered 4 bro &sis from same family ages 2-17.
how sure are you that the return to bio mom is going to go thru and is it going to work?
if you think there is a chance it may noy go thru or may not work, i wouldn't go into to much detail with the one remainibg. keep things light hearted and upbeat cocerning his friend going home to mom and let him know his buddy will be coming back to viisit, being sure to stress visit.
besy of luck, you've got a hard job. thanks for doing it.
2006-10-18 12:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by connie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, poor little guys.. :(
I have never been in that situation but imagine it's very hard for them to go back especially when everybody has gotten attached to eachother..
I don't know much about fostering..
but can you adopt them? that way they can stay together?
geez... i don't know how you could explain to the other 4 year old..
maybe you could tell him that the other little guy is going with his mommy? i don't know what the situation is.. sorry.
good luck.
2006-10-18 12:47:25 · answer #5 · answered by green eyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋