I've been seeing this guy sporadically since February. Back then, he told he didn't want a relationship because he was done with college and moving away. He remained in contact at least on a monthly basis while he was away. Recently, within the last month, we both coincidentally moved to the same area, and have seen each other several times. He contacted me last weekend, saying that he missed me, and hoped to see me soon. We spoke and I considered it was time to ask him the "relationship" question again. I told him that my impression was that what we have together is purely physical. He said it was more than that for he likes spending time with me. Yet, he still said he doesn't want a relationship. He will be leaving for med school again by next year. I appreciated his honesty as is, and did not ask any further questions. He ended up coming over to my place where he surprised me with champagne, wine, strawberries, grapes, candles, whipped cream, etc. It was a great night! I'm confused?
2006-10-18 05:26:15 · 10 answers · asked by J C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason he doesn't want to be with you could be a number of things. I found my self in your exact situation about 5 years ago. My now boyfriend said and did all those things that you described. He didn't want to commit to me but still did things that that a boyfriend would do. This went on for about 2 years and then fate stepped in just as I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. Now we have been commited for about 3 years and will most likely get married. We have discussed that part of our lives many times and basically what it boiled down to was that he was to young to be committed to me. He wanted that time of his life to live freely, go out with his friends, and not have all of the emotion that was involved in a relationship. At the time I felt just like you do, I really wanted to be with him and didn't understand his actions. However looking back now it was the best thing he could of done for me. I was able to live my life and just be single.
So I guess my advice to you is don't be in a hurry to get into a commitment, just live life, and the relationship will just happen. Even if it doesn't with this guy it will. Sorry for the long story. I hope I was able to help!!
2006-10-18 05:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by sunspider 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The institution of marriage is showing its incapability in most cases. Those who r married r too not happy always, pple nowadays have less consistency, and so, they go for varieties. Had our stupid society allowed to live together peacefully, u could have got even greater times.
The thing is that some attractions can't either be denied nor can be pursued, this may be the case here.
2006-10-18 05:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
...and you got laid right? Yeah.....don't be confused...let me spell it out for you. He got what he wanted from you. When he comes back again...you'll give it up then too. You see? You're being used as a sex toy.
of course I'm amazed you actually have to be told this. Do you feel used now? Kinda dirty? kinda sheepish or just plain angry? You realize though...you have no one to blame for this except yourself. Don't blame him. He tried and succeeded. because you allowed it.
2006-10-18 05:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants a friend with benefits because you are not excatly what he is looking for but available to satisfy his sexual needs.
Ask yourself.....is this what you want?
If not then dump him and get a man for yourself, that you can have a meaningful relationship with. If it is what you want...bring on the strawberries.
2006-10-18 05:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dat depends on ur mentality or point of view about this thing. u may thnk dat he's just spending some time with u for fun n then hell throw u away like a rag doll, or u may thnk dat he likes u but wants to be a good n close frnd of yours............ thez r da only 2 choices i can thnk of...........
2006-10-18 05:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by proxsmartest2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of just plain old friendship? Can't you have a boy as a friend without him being your boyfriend?
2006-10-18 05:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's afraid to commit and him going away for med school might also contributes to that.
2006-10-18 05:31:10 · answer #7 · answered by speak_your_mind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wants to be friends with you without any commitments
2006-10-18 06:00:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt want a relationship, but that doesnt mean he doesnt want sex, at least he was honest with you
2006-10-18 05:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by SHE HATE ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NICE GUY
2006-10-18 05:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by sures 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋