I am currently staying at a local women's shelter due to family abuse and it is getting close to my departure date. Since I don't have an adequate income my only option is to stay with my boyfriend. I am looking foreward to this, but I am also worried because I am a christian, premarital sex is a sin. It is hard for me to because I've had premarital sex in the past repeadedly and each time I've asked God to forgive me, but the more I repeated my sin, the more unforgiven I felt. My boyfriend is used to having sex either every day or every other day. He told me that he'll be okay with having sex maybe once every two weeks. From what I can tell, he seems like he cares enough about me to accept my beliefs. When I brought up the topic of going to church, he said he'll go if I go. How should I address this issue without disappoinging him.
2006-10-18 05:13:04 · 15 answers · asked by jmrocket05 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It is a sin to deny your human nature.
2006-10-18 05:15:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 9⤋
Ask the leaders of your church if there is a place you can go and stay so that you will not have to put your self in this position where you know that you will be tempted to sin (and probably will, because of what you said you have done in your past). See if they have any answers.
You might try and ask at other churches if they know of any place that can help you.
Also, you might want to consider finding out now if your boyfriend is going to be a Christian or not by getting him to church now. The Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. It is better to wait and find a Christian than be in a hurry and choose less than the best God has for you.
Keep praying about these things.
God be with you.
2006-10-18 05:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by tim 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The real issue isn't the premarital sex, but your belief in yourself. You morally feel premarital sex is wrong, yet you engage in it. Why? Do you feel unworthy of God's love? Of mankind's love? Do you think sex is the only way to express love between a man and a woman?
If your boyfriend loves and respects you, he will not expect you to go against your beliefs - ever. Once a day or once a week is still going against your beliefs.
Disappointing him should be the least of your concerns. What about disappointing yourself? You are the one who must live with the choices you make. It sounds like you're in a tough spot already, and compromising a belief you hold is going to make you feel worse. You could end up spiralling into depression and self-loathing. That will not help. You need to take a stand for your beliefs - being true to yourself and what you hold dear. And no - it's not always easy.
2006-10-18 05:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by KC 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
You have to keep praying to do right. I know it's hard I had/have the same situation. He has to want to worship God on his own and not just because you do it. God can read your heart. You may want to bring it to the shelter the reason you may want to stay a little while longer. God works and something will workout.
But also listen to what you said about the sex. God doesn't say it's okay to have sex less often when you are not married. You should not do it at all.
You have to forgive yourself and let it go. Don't put yourself in a spiritually unhealthy situation. Your bf can't explain to God your actions...
2006-10-18 05:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by t j 2 · 9⤊ 0⤋
you know you will have sex. so you have options: god forgives you all the time, dont condemn yourself. but at the same time, dont ask for forgiveness if you know its going to be repeated, thats why you are condemning yourself, because you know you will have sex. so its a vicious cycle.
the other option is to not sleep in the same bed with him, which is difficult. you can also be true to your beliefs, try to be superstrong, and tell your boyfriend you'd rather not have sex because what you believe.
because maybe youre condemning yourself because you think youre weak and not able to defend your beliefs.
youre in a hard situation, from where youve been to what youre going through right now. pray a lot, god will give you guidance, believe this. and trust that he forgives you all the time. stop condemning yourself, god will work on you and your boyfriend as you keep praying and believing. and were all sinners, we all fall in one way or another, dont be hard on yourself.
2006-10-18 05:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by cruzanglero 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Where is the commitment to you from your so called boyfriend?
Also, it is written to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. So, to obey God you would seek a Christian guy who honors you & your God. It is has to be another Christian.
Also, God is our provider. I see that you have need that is met by God, not someone who just wants sex. I pray that God will meet your needs abundantly more than you can ask or think according to His riches in Glory.
Just repent for any sin & know Jesus Blood covers your sins & you can come boldly before the Throne of Grace in hour of need.
When talking to him, just let him know what God has convicted you in your heart about your relationship. That you are going to obey God & wait till marriage. Bring him to church (Bible faith based.) with you. He could get saved.
When he asks you to marry him, that shows he has commitment. When he loves Jesus, that shows he is a christian.
2006-10-18 05:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by t_a_m_i_l 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a wonderful gift that our creator gave to us and he did it in a manner that is not only a way of procreation, but also pleasurable to both parties. What a gift!!
But he also meant for it to be used within certain boundries that he set out for us. I mean, HE created us, he IS kinda allowed to set some rules, right? He only wanted people to have sexual relations within the bonds of marriage so that any children born of such a union would be born to a pair of parents who would love it.
Now, times being what they are and nearing the end of days as we know them, things have gotten so crazy and far from the original set of values he instilled in us, that things today are just different.
You say that you always feel guilty everytime you commit fornication, well, that shows you still have a trained christian conscience and thats good! I commend you on that. But continuing to follow such a lifestyle , that's the bad part. God only forgives you for the sin if you are truly repentant and then don't go doing it again and again.... If you keep committing said sin, then you show you really aren't sorry for it. Or aren't sorry enough to have the self control not to commit it again.
To gain the strength needed NOT to commit this sin again, you need to really work hard to 1. not put yourself in such situations that make it easy for you to do it again. and 2. pray for the strength to be able to maintain the self control that you need.
I know its hard hon. I realllllllllllllly do!! Sex is a powerful tool that Satan uses to stumble people that are trying hard to do God's will. He uses it on alot of people. Look at Jacob in the Bible, when he was sold into slavery in Isreal and gained great power and prestige among the Egyptians. Well, then along comes Potiphar's wife, and she tried to seduce him. There were no 10 commandments yet, but he just knew that this would be a bad thing in God's , so he just RAN AWAY from her as quickly as he could! He got himself OUT of the situation so as not to be tempted.
Is there anyway that you could possibly stay with a relative til you get on your feet again? Some place where you won't be tempted to repeat your past actions? ( I know, we all have needs....and this will take self control, but think about what you will be gaining. Your self-respect over this issure, your favor with God, and possibly the respect of your boyfriend who might quit pressuring you and wait til you're married? Who knows? You might even meet someone else who admires you more for your stand !)
I hope you have the strength of will and character to maintain your stand. I am proud tohear of someone else out there that feels it should be done the right way. its rare these days!
2006-10-18 05:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by heatherlovespansies 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋
If you know it's wrong, then don't do it. And he's "okay" with having sex only biweekly. That does not sound like someone who respects your beliefs. I would look for an alternate place to stay, check with some of the churches in your area. There has to be some place that you can stay. Just remember, it's a lot easier to bring someone down than it is to bring someone up. I hope that things will work out for you.
2006-10-18 05:18:26 · answer #8 · answered by flashypsw 4 · 10⤊ 1⤋
I agree with flashypsw. It doesn't sound like he respects your beliefs. After I "came back" to my church after a long time on "inactiveness" I was living with my boyfriend, and we decided to get married, and we both decided that we should not be intimate until after the wedding. He respected me, even after the fact that when we met, I was not following my beliefs by being with him in that way. You should find an alternate place to go. Your church should be more than willing to help you out in that.
2006-10-18 05:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Diamond Girl 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
there isn't something interior the Bible approximately premarital intercourse because of the fact having intercourse become between the techniques which you will get married. You become one flesh once you have intercourse. a million Corinthians 6:sixteen
2016-11-23 17:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what you have been doing ( Sins) again and again.
so what you worry about now , forget everything and contineu as there is no solution to your Sin and u still stay and continueing your Sins, NO one can help jsut pray to GOD may he forgives you,
2006-10-18 07:05:09 · answer #11 · answered by hi_kamaran 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋