okay well my boyfriend says i have to stop hanging out w/ my friends because i spend to much time w/ then then w/ him okay i think its stupid now he says its either me or then and i dont know what to do dump him go w/ friends or be w/ him and forget my friends? or should i say it to him to either me or your friends? well i know he'll pick me but i think this is stupid and advice?
Nikki <3333's ya!!!
2006-10-18 04:11:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jen U is right--the bf's demanding that you leave your friends is a VERY BAD sign, and a warning of potential abusiveness. You cannot--I mean you really cannot--have a good and long-lasting relationship that is healthy if you and your partner don't still have your own lives (you own hobbies, circles of friends, etc). Tell your bf that what he is asking for is unhealthy and unacceptable. If he can't deal with it, leave. Period.
2006-10-18 04:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by explorationredwing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never let a guy decide who you are to be friends with and never ever let him cut you off from your friends.
Tell him what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
If he wants you to be isolated from your friends then isolate him from his friends.
I would tell him that I am sorry that he don't think I spend enough time with him and that I would work on that, but trust me if you marry this guy and you have cut off your friends you will regret it later because as you get on into the years with the marriage things change and you begin to want friends that are married t hang out with and surely some of your friends will be married by then and if you cut them off they won't be around.
Plus when things go wrong in the relationship you are going to want friends there that you can talk to and if you cut off your friends for him then you are left dealing on your own with no one to throw ideas around with.
Don't do it, don't cut off your friends for him, make more time for him but don't cut them off completely.
Hope that helps you out a bit, Good Luck!!!
2006-10-18 11:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends always come first.
Demanding that you stop hanging out with your friends is an early sign of an abusive control freak.
Get out of this 'relationship' while you can still see the problem... or he will convince you this is normal and you'll start believing it... that is how abusers operate.
2006-10-18 11:14:41 · answer #3 · answered by zmj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could spend more time with the guy and less time with the friends but dont give up your friends. Good luck
2006-10-18 11:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well then he isnt really a boyfriend id dump him unless he was that cute! but still he should not do that to u! if u ove him then maybe u can cut back on ur friendship time and start spendin it wif him and if he was really that worried about ur time wif ur friends then he could get up and hang out with and ur friends!
2006-10-18 11:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that is isn't fair to you for him to give you that ultimatum because if your friends were there first.. Your friends will be there forever if you allow it but think about this, if you give up your friends and your bf ends up breaking up with you, not only will you have no one to turn to but when you try to go back to your friends they will only be able to think that you turned your back on them once, you will probably do it again. Tell your bf that he can't be that jelous because jelousy leads to obsession and you don't need that. Plus, when my sister listened to her bf about her friends he then told her that he wanted her to quit hanging out with her family and she listened and I haven't really been able to talk to her since..
2006-10-18 11:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by kalynn h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he gives you that choice i would go for your friends. He shouldn't expect you to stop hanging out with your friends-that's just silly. If you hang out with your partner too much, you go nuts! Trust me, space is good. So tell him you need your friends in your life and you need him to. Try to balance it out if you can.
2006-10-18 11:16:59 · answer #7 · answered by v_stroke_28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i feel horrible for you to be in that position. if a guy is forcing you to choose between friends and himself, then he obviously doesn't care enough about you. he should know that in order to be happy you need both. he seems to care alot about himself and getting attention and, no offense, but he sounds like a real jerk and i'd go for the friends and leave his sorry a**.
2006-10-18 11:16:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just the beginning of his immature effort to control your life. Dump him. He's not a friend, he is thinking about himself.
2006-10-18 11:19:00 · answer #9 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd choose friends... he shoudnt have to make u choose if he's mature. He had people in his life b4 he meet u so why is he forcing u change ur's.. its not right
2006-10-18 11:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋