why do i not have someone to love me?

Question

where can i find someone to care for me and even marry me im beutiful,kind gently and fun but i dont drink or go to clubs and its two years since i had a boyfriend im feeling lonely is something wrong with me no one dates me please help?

Answer 1

Nothing is wrong with you - all good things come in time

Answer 2

Yeah something is wrong with you. You are a quivering spineless mass of self doubt, and self pity. Go do some community service work, develop some pride, then you will get a decent life. After you do that find someone. At least they will respect you.

Answer 3

You need to get out and meet new people. Find an activity that you like and join a club of like people. Mutual interests can provide a basis friendships. Friendships often lead to romance.

Answer 4

There is someone out there for you, but why are you desperate to find them right now? 2 years isn't a very long time to be single. Be happy with yourself, as wonderful as you are, when the time is right he'll be there. Love doesn't come to those who look for it.

Answer 5

So good on you for not going to clubs -- you can get attention there, but it sounds like you're really looking for more.

The way to meet somebody you like is to put yourself where there are people who have common interests to yours. This could mean classes, clubs, volunteer organizations, faith-based groups, and other activities. If you're still in school, make a point of locating an extracurricular activity at school that you find worthwhile, and get active in it. This means getting out, going to meetings, participating in club activities, and being involved with the people and the purpose. Maybe it's a hiking club; maybe it's a group of volunteers who clean up city parks; maybe it's even chess club (don't make fun, two of my kids are in chess club :-).

The point is, find something that interests you and pursue it. I seriously recommend volunteering in a social cause you feel strongly about. This will have two benefits: it will put you out in the social space where other people will meet you and get to know you; and perhaps more important, it will show you in your best light -- doing something you believe in and that excites you. Because being active and excited about life makes other people excited about you.

If you're out of school, a similar rule applies -- first, see if your company sponsors something like a softball league (if you can stand it -- I'm not saying "take up softball even if you hate it," I'm saying find some social activity through work).

The object isn't to Find A Man -- the object is to have a rich life around people you like. Because here's the thing -- if you're the kind of person who pitches in and gets active and does things you care about, you'll excite the people around you. And even if they are married or female or gay, THEY have friends, and the circle of people you associate with gets larger not by the ones you hang around with, but by the ones THEY hang around with. Maybe the pitcher on your company softball team is married, but his wife's brother is available. Maybe your partner on the walk-a-thon for diabetes is female, but her husband's friend is really interested in meeting a girl like you. Get the point?

And of course, wonderful -- even miraculous -- things happen when you're actively pursuing something you believe in. But you'll have to find that out on your own. (Hint: it has to do with creating a wonderful, fulfilling life for yourself... even while you're looking for someone to share it with.)

As a practical step: take a piece of paper (email won't work for this, it's too quick) and write down a list of all the things you like and are interested in. EVERYTHING -- cooking Italian food, the Congressional race in your district, working with autistic children, labrador retrievers, "walks in the rain" (okay, be real here :-), watching reruns of "Friends," sleeping late on Saturdays, driving to the country to look at the fall colors, EVERYTHING. Then, put that list in an envelope, take it to work or school, and mail it to yourself. It'll take three or four days to get to you.

When it arrives, open it and read it as though it was from another person writing about you. Several things will most likely jump off the page at you -- those are the things you need to start looking into, because those are where your passion is. And that's really what you're up to now -- finding your own passion so you can find someone who feels the same passion. It's a short step from sharing A passion to sharing passion. And until you find someone to share it with, you're doing something you love.

Answer 6

no babe,their isn't anything wrong with you,we all go through different stages in life,but love doesn't come from one day to another,it takes time,dedication,commitment,dealing with go and bad times in life,take your time to meet some,that can meet your needs,but take your time,men might think your vulnerable,and try to take advantage of you,good luck,i wish you well,even though i don't know you!

Answer 7

relax you ned to get out where people are. just because you do not drink or go clubbing does not mean there are not people out there go tomalls or coffe bars or wherever people hang out. it will be ok!!

Answer 8

i am sure that their is nothing wrong with you its really weird when you look for love cant find it but when you arent looking you will find it you will there is someone for everyone good luck

Answer 9

there is always some one thier to love you even if it just you'r family or friends don't worrie u still have the future

Answer 10

don`t worry it`s nothin` wrong with u,maybe u should be more loose,purhaps u`re being to "untoucheble" 2 guys...