Last weeked my friend asked me to go to a party with her. I went, but when we got there she went and spoke to everyone else except me. I don't mind this cos I am sociable too and got chatting to others but it did bother me that she begged me to go with her only to ditch me. Should I raise the issue or let it go?
2006-10-18 03:18:26 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes, but for a different reason. Your friend used you as an "air bag". Air bags are friends who accompany their friends to potentially socially awkward situations. Dates, parties, bars, etc. However, the issue isn't that she used you as an air bag, the issue is that she didn't tell you.
If she had said; " I want you to go with me to this party, because you are insurance I won't feel lonely." Then you would have been free to say yes or no.
I would say this: "Don't ask me to a party pretending that we are going to hang out and you only want me to be your airbag."
2006-10-18 03:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by fenocian 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Let it go. She could have been caught up in the moment and just let the evening sweep her by, it happens quite a bit. At least you had the sense also to be sociable as well so you were not left like a lemon. If you feel you have to say something to her, make it very confrontational or even make it as a joke and somewhere away from influences like a pub or over a lunch. She probably didn't realise what she was doing but I think its not worth having an argument and even losing a friend over this.
2006-10-18 03:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by GaryUKB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you stated in your question that you didn't mind because you are of the social butterfly nature also I would not make an issue out of it. Although, the next time a similar situation arises, before making definite plans with her I would casually mention that maybe she could introduce you to the other people at the party that you may not already know. That way you can expand your acquaintance list and not feel pushed to the curb all night.
2006-10-18 03:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should be annoyed with her, she basically didnt have the confidence to go on her own, but it doesnt seem like she would have cared who went with her.
I dont think it necessarily means she isnt your friend or is just using you, unless this is typical behaviour and she does this kind of thing a lot. But I think you have a right to be annoyed with her, definitely.
Its up to you if you raise the issue or not - it depends on what you think raising it will achieve? If you dont think it will do any good but to make a bigger rift and you do value her friendship then I would say nothing.
Alternatively you could bring it up, but try to stay calm and just point out that you felt a little used and maybe ask her to put herself in your shoes.
2006-10-18 03:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by Pington 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you havent said anything now then i wouldnt bring it up, as you say also that you werent too bothered at the time. But it is a bit harsh to beg you to go only to ignore you. However if she asks you again either say no or tell her not to do the same again.
2006-10-18 10:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Carole T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going to a social gathering with a friend is just that, "A social gathering, meeting and talking to other people." If you wanted a Girls Night Out" then go with your friend to a nice restaurant and have drinks and great food and enjoy each others company for a couple of hours.
2006-10-18 03:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Ricardo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she wanted you to go because she did not want to turn up on her own so watch out for other behaviour to indicate she might be a user.
If it is just a one off let it go, if she does something like that again have a go but don't sound like a nag. Just tell her you don't appreciate it and thats that, don't get drawn into an argument.
2006-10-18 03:21:08 · answer #7 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be causing a bit a of a stir if you mention it. Next time just weigh up the pros and cons of going out with her. If you know there will be other people for you to speak to then go. If not, don't. But I reckon she probably didn't know she was even doing it.
2006-10-18 03:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forget about it, at least she took you along knowing you would be able to handle talking to other people and not be miserable all night, she might not have even realised she has hurt you, why bother after the event, its in the past now, leave it there.
2006-10-18 03:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly you should. Do you care about your friendship with this girl? If you do, then you should definitely talk to her about it. Chances are she didn't realize what she was doing, and hopefully will try not to do the same after you tell her that it bothered you when she ignored you. If she continues to do it, then you might consider whether she really cares much about you. But talk to her first, for sure. Good luck!
2006-10-18 03:26:59 · answer #10 · answered by twasbrillig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋