Can men and women really be just friends?

Question

I'm 20 he's 35. We met at work. We spend a lot of time together, talk everyday, go out on dates, but there is no physical aspect to our relationship at all. I really like him and all of our mutual friends see alot of chemistry between us. There is one BIG problem. A few months ago we stopped talking for a little while and he asked his ex (who lives 1000 miles away) to marry him. Their relationship is "fizzling" and he is the one that contacted me and started calling everyday, etc. To me this doesn't seem like a normal friendship. Any ideas?

Answer 1

My advice is to not bother with him until he is single again.
Don't let him make you second best.
CT

Answer 2

Men and Woman can be friends. Tho sometimes it does take some work. Setting boundaries is a good thing. My best friend is my ex-boyfriend. He and I had a really messed up relationship and he did break my heart but I was able to forgive him and move on. I know a lot of people have issues with our friendship but I make a point to tell them to mind their own business. My husband is able to except out friendship also because he know what it means to me. I talk to my friend almost every night, tho we don't see each other much because he lived 4 hours away. I know that some people (mostly my mom and my brother) thought it was wrong to invite him to my wedding but I did anyways and he showed up. He and my husband get along great and tho I know it is hard work to get where we are now it was most definately worth it. His girlfriend however has issues with us being friends but I think it stems from pass trust issues for other relationships.
If you like this guy as a friend, then don't let other people stop that. Opinions are like a*sholes everyone has one.
As for the fizzling part well that happens when a sex relationship comes into play .. I know that when my friend and his girlfriend got back together I was blown off and stood up but I made a point to bring this to his attention. He understood and so did I . If you are bothered by the fizzling tho maybe there is a little more to your feelings for him then you care to admit ..

Answer 3

My best friend is a guy. I have been there through alot of his relationships and he has been there through mine. Every time there is a break up I am the first one he calls and vice versa isn't that what friends are supposed to do?? You wouldn't thing that was abnormal if it was one of your girlfriends doing it would you? I talk to him and give him the encouragement he needs, and he does the same for me. There is no physical chemistry between us he is like a big brother to me and I am like a sister to him. Just keep being the friend he needs and stop questioning it. Oh yea and for the future when you do get into a relationship with someone else it is best to be upfront and let that person know who your best friend is, so that there is no jealousy in the future. There is a bonus to having a friend of the opposite sex and that is no one can tell you how a man thinks better than a man. Its a big bonus for you sister.

Answer 4

You said mutual friends between you see a lot of chemistry.

Him being 35-yrs-old: I'm 100% certain he doesn't care a rip about what others view as 'chemistry' between you.

You're fishing for a relationship and he's not. Otherwise he wouldn't ask someone to marry him.

Sorry, but to him you're convenient, not relationship material.

Men typically aren't noted for being "just friends" with women. Those who call a woman more frequently than once every few weeks are seeking something more than just being a friend.

Answer 5

In my opinion there are only 10% of guys that can have a friends only relationship with a female. Even married ones are probably just keeping the 'escape' route clear incase of emergencies. The easy way to find out if you have a good guy friend is talk about how you are in love with someone else and you know that they are the one. If the guy is attracted to you, he will realize he doesn't have a chance and limit his contact with you. If he stays, then you know he is a good friend.

Answer 6

In your relationship, there does seem to be a mutual attraction. But you'd better wait until his relationship fizzles out for good before you make your move. You don't want to be a rebound.

And yes, guys and gals can be just friends. I have tons of guy friends I'm not attracted to. Three of them by default, since they're gay.

Answer 7

Absolutely! If both parties are respectful of friendship boundaries. If I am in a relationship, then my partner also knows my friends, male and female. I don't dump the friend because the "partner" is around.

At the same time, I wouldn't date anyone that I did not like enough to be friends with, so there are some fine lines that you have to delineate in your own mind, and between you.

Answer 8

Personally every case of male/female friendships I've ever seen has involved at least one of them having more than platonic feelings for the other. As long as that person is clearly aware that it will go no further than friendship, its fine to be friends. In your case I think you should be wary of his intentions, it seems like he's getting you confused, and thats certainly not what anyone needs from a friendship. Good luck x

Answer 9

No they have to jump each other at every given opportunity. Seems like you want more out of this friendship than he does. I guess the real question is can you just be friends with this person or do you want more out of the relationship/friendship?

Answer 10

Yes we can be friends.. I have lots of male friends and I love a few of them in a different view.. Like my brother.. There are attractions between us but we know our friendship is more important..

If he is really your buddy then he shouldn't have to stop talking to you to ask someone to marry him. That means there more too..
Be Care make sure you know what you want..

Answer 11

Thats a tough one. If you are just friends then it should be fine that he and his ex are "fizzling" but in many occasions "just friends" who are friends for a while start to like each other for more than that. If you find youself jealous of this ex of his, you shouldnt do anything to jeapordize your relationship with him. If he wants her he should go for her, if he wants you he should go for you. Perhaps you should talk to him about it, he might just be wanting companionship and "fizzling" with her to make you jealous, or fill a void that he might have been looking for in you.