I have a 3 year old?

Question

My ex the father of our 3 year old girl left me 2 years ago and got with another girl and they have a 1 yr old. He has not seen our dauaghter in over a year nor has he called. Should I just igve up on him being a father to her.

Answer 1

that is very sad, as I have a Daughter which I try very hard to stay in touch with.

Answer 2

You can force (somewhat) child support but you can't really force involvement, much less a relationship (between the father and the child). That being said, I would leave the door open for a relationship unless there is some sort of actual (physical or mental) abuse. You should make sure he knows that the door is open but not try and "force" the issue. You might nudge a little in this respect by calling the father on the child's birthday and letting her tell him what she received as gift(s). You would obviously want to stop taking the initiative if he was being mean. The important thing is for you to have, if possible, an amicable relationship with your ex - for your daughter's sake. Some day she is likely to want to know about her dad, find her dad, have a relationship with him, etc., and should be able to do so without the baggage of lifelong conflict between you and he, directly, or indirectly by denigrating his character.

Answer 3

In the city you live in, find the Family & Childrens services in your local phonebook,don't call them but get the address and go to the office. Relate and tell this to the official in the office.
As a parent he can choose to turn his back or step up & be a dad...and a man.
If this neglect is already happening you should start the process now of child support, and have a record (thru their office) of what sort of parent he has become.
I would give him the opportunity to be a father, and the Family & Childrens services along w/DFACS will follow this & do the work for/with you.

Answer 4

Like others I hope he's contributing financially to your child if nothing else. Take him to court if need be, you have to raise your child alone but you dont have to be paying for all the expenses yourself.
So he was in your daughter's life up until she was a yr old, then he left... and he saw her occasionally until she was 2 then dropped off the radar entirely? I dont know how any father could do that, but men tend to do many a thing I dont understand. I'd say a yr is long enough to write him off without knowing more. How is your daughter? Does she remember 'Daddy'? Have you been able to explain the situation to her? Poor thing, it's the children who suffer when adults behave like asses.

Answer 5

Pretty much. You can file for child support for the financial portion of care, but that won't replace the loss of the bond...but remember, it's his loss, not hers. My oldest daugther's father left the state when she was 2, visited her 7 years later for a summer, visited off and on for a few months about a year or so later, disappeared again and then asked to see her over the summer. He then kept her 2 weeks longer than he was supposed to and she hates him for it. She refuses to call him or e-mail or anything. Don't worry about him, worry about her....there's someone out there that would love to be a daddy to her, remember...anyone can be a father, but it's someone special that is a daddy. Be honest with her when she is older and asks about her father, but don't push the issue. You will feel better about it and your daughter will trust you more for being honest, yet not pushy.

Answer 6

It sounds like he's the one that has given up on being a father. I certainly hope that you ARE receiving child support. The h*** with him I say. It is his loss and some day he will realize that. I would try not to talk bad about her father in front of her because no matter what that is her father and she will always love him (just because he's her father) - and it would make you look better to your daughter in the long run (good luck with that). Although, ream him a new *** to who ever else will listen. God bless and enjoy your daughter!!

Answer 7

No you don't let him off that easy you need to go downtown and get him for child support before he stops sending money because he has a new family and you be at home trying to make ends meet. After that you should give up on him being her father figure because you should never have to ask anyone to visit their child. And you dont want her to go through broken promises as she get older or wondering why daddy is not coming to see her that can mess up a child. Its all about you guys don;t cut him off but let him have access, he know numbers, where you stay and everything if he don't bring an intuitive then forget him. Your daughter is a princess and she needs to be treated like one. Trust me her new daddy one day will treat her like one.

Answer 8

Don't push the issue of him being around. I am going through the same thing. My baby is 7 and has a lil sis that is 5. He does everything for her and nothing for ours. Don't talk bad about him to her and don't bring him up if you don't have too. If she ask about him then talk. Give and take he might try and come around later, but remember if you do the right thing your child will jump on him for him not being there. Remember if you ever try and do the child support thing then he is going to ask for his visitation.
I seen it happen too often. I don't ask mine for nothing.
I like to sit back and listen how he trys and explain his action to his daughter, because he always put his foot in his mouth. When they ask question about why you don't call me or come by. Look at how dumb his butt is going to look because he can't blame you.
Go on move on with your life. You don't need him long as you are doing ya thing. He will hurt more when he see that too.

Answer 9

Move on. Ive been there and done that, you cant force someone to be a father if they dont want to be. You dont want this man in and out of your daughters life. That will show to be far worse for her. Its just not worth it. But i always leave the option open for my sons father. He knows my phone number, mailing address. I sent him school pictures and christmas cards and things like that, But never hear back from him. Which is fine. In the end your daughter will see that you at least tried. Just be the best momma you can be for her. Try not to mention him. Thats the best thing for her. He chose to leave not only you but that little girl. Thats his loss GOODLUCK to you and your baby. Get in and file for child support. Your daughter and you both deserve it

Answer 10

That's a hard question. Children need both of their parents, but not if one is going to be unavailable and make the child feel unimportant. If you give up on him being a parent, make sure he is still financially responsible and gives you child support. Being a single parent is hard enough without having to worry about having enough money to live. Just because he left you doesn't mean he has to abandon his daughter too.

Answer 11

girl the money from child support should be keeping you happy because that asshole needs to pay up! I don't understand how somebody can make a child and not be there. My father had a child before he met my mother and never saw him until my half brother was 26. My father never paid child support, you need it to help your child.