2006-10-18 02:38:30 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Ok, the problem is that my job is paying the gym, but i am already payin for an all woman gym that I had registered with before I even knew him. He says that if he knew me going to the girl/boys gym that he wouldnt care. but that now he does, he says that he goes to the gym and sees the guys messing with the girls. and thats why he thinks i shouldnt go. he told me to do whatever i wanted, but i dont kno what to do. We've been together for 6mths.
2006-10-18 02:58:35 · update #1
SO I LOVE THE MAN! LOL
2006-10-18 04:45:02 · update #2
I think a lot of people are making a lot of assumptions about what little information is written here being very judgemental about the situation and the guy involved, especially the I am woman hear me roar crowd. You base everything you say on one side of the story.
I agree that no one should be in a relationship where one person is controling over the other and tries to take away their freeedoms, but I think that is a large stretch and a huge assumption to make based on what is written.
I am wondering if the original question should be stated as "I am recently dating a guy that doesn't WANT me to go to a gym..." as opposed to what she wrote, which is "doesn't LET me go" There is a huge difference between those statements. And considering she wrote in her additional information that the guy told her it's up to her what she does. From what I am reading I can understand him wanting to be protective and not having to deal with the way men act towards women in a gym setting, especially if he has witnessed it first hand how they are treated, she shouldn't have to deal with that....on the other hand it is just as possible to think that she may feed off the flirtatiousness of others.
To the person who posted the question, grow up. You are in a relationship. You and only you know how he treats you and should be able to make a decision on whether or not this is a relationship you want to continue with or end now before it drags on. Have you actually tried talking to him and trying to understand why he feels the way he feels and see it from his eyes and point-of-view? Don't think you can come into Yahoo Answers and drop your nickel thinking Lucy is going to give you sound advice. Like I said earlier, there are a lot of people who are making presumptuous about a situation they don't have all the facts for. You are putting the outcome of your relationship with a person in the hands of complete strangers...not the smartest move in my book. (is this the part were someone throws a Vonage box now)
2006-10-18 03:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce Leroy - The Last Dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him ASAP! Your additional details make him sound less of a control freak than I initially thought, but still. He obviously has jealousy issues and suffers from low self-esteem.
Who needs that? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who is confident? Trust me, you're better off alone than with a loser.
I mean, if he's already trying to restrict your contact with the opposite sex, what'll be next? Will he suggest you wear a burka and put away the tight clothes? And OMG, do you work with guys? You might need to change jobs so that you work in an all female environment. And forget about going out alone with your friends. What if there are guys around?
Seriously. Either get him to fact the fact that HE has a problem, or move on.
2006-10-18 10:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am confused your question says he will not let you go, but your comments says he lets you make the choice. Which is it?
It does not sound like he trusts you much. That is one of the signs of a control freak. Be very careful. A man should be secure in a relationship.
I Am old fat and ugly and missing front teeth. my wife is 17 years younger than I am and very pretty, petite, and athletic. Guy hit on her all the time. but I do not get mad because I know who she loves and is faithful to. ME. You will never stop guys from hitting on you and your boyfriend needs to realize that. Either he is secure that you are his girlfriend and understands guys will hit on you or he will not trust you and try and keep you hid from guys.
I have been married to my wife nearly 14 years now and it would not have lasted that long if I was jealous and controlling.
2006-10-18 10:15:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a potential problem to me. This could be only the beginning of a controlling relationship. You will not change him. If it doesn't feel right to you, get out before it's too late.
2006-10-18 09:48:30 · answer #4 · answered by Char 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are dating, not married.
If you don't like the restrictions he is already trying to impose on you in THIS level of your relationship, chances are you won't like any others you would find if you marry the man! You need to have a serious talk with him about this. If he insists on ordering you about in your "apart" time, you will have to consider whether or not you LIKE the arrangement.
If you actually like him ordering you around (which I doubt) then the relationship can continue. If this bothers you (and I believe it does) then consider ending the relationship. In either case, have a serious talk with him about this.
2006-10-18 09:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by MamaBear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, this sort of thing can become very dangerous. I don't know you or the individual in question, but anyone who feels the need to exercise this degree of control over another has the potential to become very volatile if he thinks he is being mistreated or insulted in any way.
Think toward your own long term safety on this one.
2006-10-18 09:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Murph 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to either stop trusting you and get that chastity belt and veil for you, OR tell him to grow up and he's in a relationship and you being with him is going to stop gym men from sweeping you away, not going elsewhere and avoiding all men.
2006-10-18 09:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by jleslie4585 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a guy telling you what you can and cannot do, life is to short! Get OUT of the relationship, sounds like a red flag to me!
2006-10-18 09:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Muggle 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Time to get out before the car gets taken away and bars are put on your windows....no kidding, you've got a serious problem on your hands.....make your own choices, your a big girl!
2006-10-18 09:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by nobyus8 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't let anyone control you. Go to whatever gym you want, if he has a problem with it, that's his damage. If he continues to try to control you, break up with him.
2006-10-18 09:43:00 · answer #10 · answered by Girl Wonder 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋