I've just been dumped by the guy i was with for 7 years!!!?

Question

Im at a loss as to what to do with myself. Im only 24 yet I feel like im gonna be left on the shelve. Help!!!! Any decent advice welcome :-(

I want to thank everybody for taking the time out to answer my question and give me advice. Everybody's comments has really helped, thank you all.

Answer 1

24 years old girl you are not even at your half life yet. Now dating a guy since you are 17 was a mistake but whatever you were in love and you thought he was the one fine. First thing you do is dont EVER take him back, remember he had his chance and now you are going to be on your OWN. This is great thing I mean you havent even been to a bar as a single woman. Enjoy guys buying you drinks enjoy being treated liek royalty. You are worth it.. Just try not to dwell on the past just think about what you are gaining. I have been where you are and I am on the other side. Take time for yourself, get into some clubs get out ther and excerise that will be huge for you!! Take care of yourself

Answer 2

I know this can be a hard time for you but all is not lost.
7 years is a long time to be with one person, and I've only just got through four. My point is there is so much to learn about the opposite sex that social meetings can't teach. You learn them in relationships. When you've been with the same person for that long there is that comfort zone that allows you to try anything you want. Now that your single this gives you the edge over all other, less experienced individuals. Enjoy your freedom, play the field. You may find that someone else may know a trick, some smooth move, etc that you've never seen.
I understand dating again can be a scary thing, especially since you've been off the books since you were 17, but try to enjoy it as much as you can. You have the rest of your life to settle down with one man. There's plenty more fish in the sea, try sampling a few more before you make the choice to stay with that one forever. You've got the time to be thorough, abuse this second chance you've been given. Good luck.

Answer 3

At 24 you're still very young and having come out of a 7 year relationship!!
I know your world is caving in right now....just hang in there, you need time to mourn but not for too long though, pack away the memorabilia and find things to occupy yourself with. i.e. evening classes, swimming etc.
Avoid places where you have history together, don't enter into another relationship too soon, otherwise you'll be breaking up sooner than you think.
One day I promise you will look back and thank God you split from your ex when you did, besides you need a little variety in your life.
The world is your oyster girl and there are endless possibilities for the taking. Have respect for yourself and enjoy being single and finding out what exactly you truly like without the influence of a boyfriend and also what really makes you tick.
Another thing, don't go looking.....love will find you.
Take care of yourself and be happy!!!!! ; )

Answer 4

It will take awhile, but you will eventually get over it. I'm guessing that since you were together since you were 14 you have probably both grown apart. Was this your first boyfriend?

Since you have been with this guy since you were 14 you have never really been on your own. I think you should take this time to discover who you are on your own without a man into the picture. Take some time. I would say at least 6 months to a year to be on your own. Join some clubs, volunteer, keep yourself busy. Eventually you won't think of him so much. After about 6 months to a year has passed and you know more about yourself from being on your own. Maybe start to casually date the men you have met through your new activities. Try not to get too serious though until about 1 1/2 to 2 years after your breakup.

This is not the end of the world. You will find someone better that compliments you, your personality, and your lifestyle better.

Answer 5

Your young don't even think of being left on the shelf. I was in a relationship from 16-22 and had two kids. I finally found the strength to leave. I spent a year on my own. It was the best year of my life I learned so much about my self. I felt the same way as you at first then I realized I had my whole life ahead of me. I am now married to the love of my life and happier then I ever thought I could be. I suggest taking some time on your own and finding out who you are by your self again, and not as someone girlfriend anymore. This will give you the strength you need to get back out there again and fall in love again. Good luck.

Answer 6

My sister went through the same thing a couple of years ago. I know its been said before but time is a great healer. You just have to keep yourself busy and over time it will get easier. Talk to your friends and family about it but try not to bore them too much :o) Find a hobby for example new sport or take a evening course as this is when you probably feel most lonley. 24 is still really young and I guarantee you as soon as you are over this guy it won't be long before you end up meeting someone else. Hang in there xxxx

Answer 7

Take this time to reflect on the relationship. You're bound to be upset right now but instead of looking at the negatives think positively. Don't think about what you lost, think of the experience you gained and all the positive things that have come out of the relationship. Think of this as turning over a new leaf, you're only 24, spend some time to yourself and explore where your life is going. I have several friends who have recently come out of long term relationships feeling fresher and more confident. But most importantly, don't expect things to pick up in an instant. Seven years is a long time, so give yourself time to heal. Good luck =]

Answer 8

I was your age with the man I lived with cheated on me with my English penpal that came to visit! I felt so used and old, like no one would ever want me again. I had become so co-dependent, as though I was defined by my man. That blew up in my face. After I picked up the pieces, I realized I was not used to the dating scene. It feels just like a divorce, doesn't it?

Follow the first answerer's advice. He is correct. Also, live a little. Live a LOT. Go on a trip where you've never been. You are young with no kids yet. Do things. Meet new people. You will find a new man. Date casually. Have fun! Good luck.

Answer 9

If you were with someone for that long then you had to be doing something right. So, relax and enjoy your new found freedom. Don't rush into anything new, and experience the 'dating scene' for a time. You will undoubtedly meet new people, try new things, learn new things, all while breaking out of the shell or rut you've been in since you were 17 years old.
There will be LOTS more positive than negative, I guarantee.

Answer 10

You will feel like this, for a bit, it might even get worser before it gets better. But what you got to understand and try and keep in your head that you KNOW you will be able to move on and you KNOW you are still young and have got a whole new life to lead. Now he has gone from your life, you should see this as an opportunity to do as you please and start new beginings. A small part of you might be already excited about it, if not, i PROMISE it will come soon. All you gotta do is GREIVE without alchoal or going out and "forgetign about it", you hve to deal with it, which basicly means, cry and cry and let it all out.

My mum is going through the exact same thing at the moment, but its worse for her, she is 42, she thinks her life is ended and IT IS NOT. So your nearly half my mums age love, you got so many frogs to kiss and parties to go to.

Why not start somthing new, see it as a start and keep at it, it will help keep your mind of things and keep your mind in check. Treat yourself, buy realy nice bathtime stuff, buy a couple of new outfits, take a weekend away somewhere hot and peaceful. Spend some quality time with immediate family or close friends.

What ever you do, dont go back. I dont know why you broke up, but once it goes like this, you will only have to face a couple more years like this then you will walk away cause there is only so much we can take. Its not worth going back, move on and think of all the possibilities you now have on your own.

Oh, and its ok to be sad, dont sit there and think its going to feel like this forever because its not, i promise. Have you ever had someone you die that was really close to you, i have, and i thought i would never be able to breath again happily. She was my everything, my right arm my nan was, but yet it was so hard for me to deal with my relationship. So i sat there and i thought of how i felt when my nan passed away, and i also thought about how i felt about my irretreivable relationship, and it put it into perspective, somethings in life just are not worth pursuing. And i thought, well i got over my nan's death, i can blo*dy well get over this fat wan!kler!! do you see wht i am trying to say. There are bigger better and more important things inlife. ITs just that this is currently happening to you at the moment and your life is being consumed towards dealing with this. But if you had, god forbid, someone close to you pass away right now, your ex would be far from your mind wouldnt he!!?! He is not the most important thing in your life, THEREFORE, you CAN live without him. TRUST ME. Without bad bits, there would be no good bits. Maybe this has happend for a reason, good might be waiting for you round the corner, you just dont know.

Well i hope there is light for you sooner rather than later, and dont forget, he probably hurting too, dont call him, just leave it. Make yourself realise its really over.

goodluck and takecare. xx