what would you do... i would like to send her a letter telling her she has a child with a child molester?

Question

an adopted cousin had molested about 4 or more? of us girl cousins. he was taken to court by one family. there was a plea bargain, etc. the case was sealed because he was under 18 at the time. he know has a girlfriend and a baby, he is 34 ish. i would like to write her a letter and tell her to run as far away from him as possible, the n i would like him to feel the pain and humiation that his victoms have felt for the last 20 years. what do you think?

Answer 1

Molestation in any form is wrong... how many years under 18yo was he... and how old were the girls... send an a letter with no return and so sender ....anonomous*... the letter will help you feel you done your part... if only being able to express to his wife the pain he caused... I feel she has a right to know his past for... her children and the ones that visit there home could be in jepordy... hope this helps!!!

Answer 2

It's easy to want to do everything possible to make his life miserable, because of the pain he has caused you. And he probably does deserve the harsh feelings you have towards him. You cannot, however, expect someone to pay for their crimes for the rest of their life. I as well as anyone know how immature and selfish I was as a teenager, and I have changed a lot in the past 12 years. I have done things I regret, but I cannot take back, but I am glad that I have the chance to move on from that and be a better person now.

There is no excuse for his actions, but everyone deserves the chance to redeem themselves. A lot of it hinges on what kind of person he is today. Aside from your personal experience with him, do you feel there is a very real danger that he is still doing the same things? If you truly, in your heart, believe there is a danger to the child, then I would say something. But if revenge is your motivation, then saying something would not be the right thing to do.

Answer 3

i no how you feel, cause i to was hurt like this along with other's, and its hard when you find out that he is married with kid's, this makes you want to do something so that the kids are not hurt like you were, and also the thought of haveing him upset would be great to, but when this happened to me, i kept it all inside and it took along time to get through the hurt which he had done to me, at the same time, some people do change, but not all do, if you want to send his wife a letter, it would be good, but it may come back on you as well, so just make sure she don't no it was from you,cause if this animal has not changed, then the wife must no before it's to late, so that way, she can keep an eye on him, i have now excepted the fact that most man can not do without hurting a girl, they were made like this, we can not change them, but man who touch little girls or even boy's makes me sick, it makes us take the law into our own hands, but its up to u if u want his wife to no or not, you have to look after yourself first though ok, good luck mate

Answer 4

I think that you should get on with life and get over it. Same sort of thing happened to me. My abuser was also under age, etc and etc.
I came to grips with it after awhile and moved on. I refused, and still refuse, to let an incident that happened over twenty years ago and did no lasting physical harm, rule my life.

He did go on to marry, produce three children and himself become a productive and respectable citizen. His children - one is a respected district attourney, one is a PhD chemist, and the youngest is soon to retire as a high-ranking naval officer.

While I have not lived an entirely trouble-free life, my troubles are due to mistakes on my part, plus the vagaries of nature - my abuser certainly didn't cause my diabetes. But because I refused to let a few instances of sexual abuse take over my life, I've also experienced some of life's most satisfying rewards.

In short, I forgave. You need to do exactly that: REVENGE WILL ONLY FURTHER DAMAGE YOUR OWN SOUL!!! Don't forgive for his sake; I did not forgive my abuser for his sake. Forgive for your own sake! It will make you so very, very much stronger.

Answer 5

I would write the letter with the understanding that your concern is for the safety of the Child/Children. Her reaction might be a problem. But if you haven't had family contact with their family, you really won't be losing anything. With this letter you might plant a seed of "doubt" and she might watch for early sign's of abuse.

Good Luck........

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I would write her a letter telling her to ask her husband about his sealed juvie record - let her know it was a molestation case. She certainly has the right to know.

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to heal yourself and put the past behind you. While revenge is sweet, it can be bittersweet in the long run.
You need to concentrate on yourself and a better way of life.

Answer 9

Stay away from him and his family. Whatever problems he causes now are none of your concern. Live a good life. That is the best medicine.

Answer 10

Whether its by letter, phone, in person... whatever... you are obligated to tell her. How would you feel if he did something to his baby, and you never said anything? It sounds like it'd be hard to tell anyone something like that but be brave and just do it, for the baby....