Dontknow what to do, my 22 yr oldstepson has moved hiself in again without asking his dad or me. He quithis job and now is quite happy to sponge of hisdad and me. Dueto an accident at work my hubby isnt working and im the sole income.(aprt fromhubbys sick pay which isnt much) weare struggling to feed ourselves, my 11 yroldand put electicity in the meter. my hubby has had a word with his son but left it at that. He has a mother who he couldstay with butchoses to stay here and causeproblemsbetween me and his dad. he informedus today that that he isnt going anywhere and my hunny said nothing. i dont know what to do!!!!
2006-10-18 02:00:16 · 19 answers · asked by Unicorna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to your husband and explain to him your worries about the financial strain, if you are willing let you stepson stay as long as he gets a job and starts paying rent, if that doesn't work then you need to tell you husband that he needs to go live with his mother. I know it's hard to do because he is you husbands son, but you also have an 11 year old to worry about and you need to do what is best for everyone. Good Luck.
2006-10-18 02:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea22306 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww hunny - tell yr hubby that you the lad has to go if he cant pay his way. If nothing happens, scare them both a bit and go and stay with a girlfriend for a few days - you can take your 11 year old - the break will do you both the world of good.
Good luck x
2006-10-18 11:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by karen s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you are in a fluster about this. That is your home. Not his. Tell him that he has to contribute financially to the household or get out. He has no authority in your house. Yes you are not his mother, but you are still the woman of the house. Stop being so silly about this. It;s your house. He has to shape up and ship out!
Don't take his nonsense. Good luck. Be strong. You are a woman. That's all you need to find the strength. We create humans inside ourselves. You cannot let this leech siphon off of you and your family. Don't put up with it. look after you and yours first. Be a Woman.
2006-10-18 09:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by thelayla_scott 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just step up and talk to your hubby and tell him you think his boy is old enough to try it on his own and maybe even suggest that he get a job to help out if he won't make him leave. The Stepson isn't broken he can work. My friend had this problem and she ended up having to just kick her stepson out. She gave him enough cash for a deposit and first month rent and said it is his responsibility from there and he could do it if he just tried. It worked and he doesn't even hate her...
2006-10-18 09:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by determined26a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DJ B is totally correct - this guy is an adult who should contribute or get out. Do NOT let your life be ruined by him, and if your husband isn't a great help, respect yourself, issue an ultimatum and be prepared to stick to it. If you dont, you'll set a precedent now that will be impossible to get out of in the future. Be strong. Be bold. Good luck.
2006-10-19 07:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe because his mum isn't so leanent, and kicks him up his fat ars, parden me for being rude, i'm 21, my boyfreind is 25, we both left home at 16 got a flat, a job and we never went back 2 our family's, even my little brother, he is 18 and couldn't find a job he liked, i told him he can't stay on jsa his whole life, you no where he is now? in the navey! seems like your being taken advantage of, and not just by your stepson. . . there are jobs you can do at home like enveloping, don't leave it to ur huband to talk to him, as im sorry to say but he seems to be just as useless, you talk to him or kick him out, he din't ask permission he just presumed, they both did so do what you have to and don't feel bad, he's 22 not 12. . . .
2006-10-18 09:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you and your husband need to discuss what to do and hubby has to stick behind it. I would bet he would move on if you told him he can stay but has to get a job and help out. Until he gets a job list some chores that he can do that maybe dad can't do due to his injury. Good luck Hun.
2006-10-18 09:07:03 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your honey that if that brat doesn't leave, you will! Now if the brat wants to stay and will get a job and contribute to the household needs, well maybe you could consider it helping. But not if it affects your marriage. He's 22, he's an adult, make him act like one. Be firm.
2006-10-18 09:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well its a sorry situation but i think try to calm down just behave as though he was your own and your hubby was the main bread winner how would you react and what would you have done. he might not be so much close to you by the way you say it out but relax try and make him understand how things are and try to be supportive .i know its hard but take time to compose yourself and its as hard to your hubby coz its his son you cant throw away your children you know even if it were you so his in a neutral position i think you need to hold a family meeting with him but first talk to hubby and be calm.dont try and make it seem you just dont like him around but say your concerns with love good lluck
2006-10-18 09:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by jollybear 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
family meeting time! Make it clear that you are happy for him to stay IF he gets off his butt and contributes to running the house. Make sure you and husband show a united front.......believe me if can see he can't get round you both he'll either get a job or move in with his mother sharpest! Good luck!
2006-10-18 15:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by cheekimadam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋