We have been together for almost a year and honestly spend almost every night together. Our relationship is strong and we love each other. He's "just not ready", but I am. I can't help but question why he isn't and I am.
2006-10-18 01:21:01 · 41 answers · asked by shegnon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
most men have commitment issues. although you spend most of your time with each other it is still a big step to take, especially for the male variety. also alot of things change when you move in together it can be a very stressful time. be honest with him and ask him why he dosnt feel he is ready, if he respects you he should open up to you. maybe there is things in his past that stop him moving on.
good luck im sure it will work out for the best
2006-10-18 01:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 22, and me and my boyfriend has been living together for the past year, and trust me it has changed our relationship dramatically. The fact that he needs some space is the reasoning for him not wanting to move with you. Think about it, when you guys get mad at one another, he can easily go home, but if you two are living together he has to leave the house, and that is more annoying and a major inconvieince for him. Have you ever heard of the saying "why fix it if its not broke?" well it is saying if you two are fine not living together why bother to move in, you probably think it will make things better, and he probably don't think so. My Boyfriend and I kinda wish we waited to move in, and we were dating for year before we decided to room together. When two people move together you actually get to see their true colors, and maybe he has a side of him he isn't ready for you to see. Well good luck with that matter, I hope it turns out for the best.
2006-10-18 01:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult within out seeing more of the situation but I would encourage you to look to his parents. Have they always been married? Have them been divorced numerous times? Are they religious? Often (not always) individuals are a result of the environment that they come from and are either recreating that environment or running.
Another point to ponder is that you state that your relationship is strong but he is not able to articulate why he is not ready. Just playing devil's advocate either he is young and perhaps fearful of even that level of commitment, (2) he actually believes in marriage but believes he is sinning so he does not want to get married (3) he does love you but does not love you enough for a commitment
Somewhere through this if you are looking for a commitment and perhaps children you are "ready" and he is not you might have to consider breaking ties.
Good Luck
2006-10-18 01:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by freemansfox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people move in after a month some 10 years all are different. at the minute he has his own money and independance if he moves in with you he'll have to eat when your ready to eat, wash the clothes together go shopping together and live in each others pockets for a long time. that can be scary to some men. an end of an era, a change of lifestyle. point out all the positives to him about living together. heres what i love, its winter the wind is howling outside rain is lashing of the window its a vicious wet night. but i'm snuggled up in bed with my woman all warm and cosy. to give him a taster of what it could be like if he didnt move in with you, next weekend he stays at yours kick him out of bed at about 7 am. i dont think he wont be too long trying to snuggle back under the blankets.
2006-10-18 01:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a big step and it is a known fact that women are always ready far quicker then men are dont let this ruin a good thing that you have let him come around to it, maybe its the fact that he knows that after spending time with you he can go home!!! he just needs time and i am sure that you are a strong person to give it to him, at the end of the day he is yours and you should be over the moon to have someone who loves you as much as he does.
2006-10-18 01:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,
Pressure only bust a pipe. I hope you aren't asking your boyfriend to move in together. If so, he's going to run to the next girl. He's not ready and when he is he'll let you know.
Women make the mistake of giving more than they receive in relationships. You don't want to be that needy woman that scares off her man. If things are going well then leave it alone. Don't ask this man to move in together. You sound needy. Men like to be the ones to initiate moves in the relationship. He'll never ask to marry you if you are pressuring him this early. Take it slow.
2006-10-18 01:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by Inez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know when you are both ready to move in, because you will both want it really bad!!! Me and my partner were together about 6 months when we kne wwe were ment to be together then hadn;t even been together 18 months buy the time we moved into our home!!! So poeple who say a year isn't long enought are talking crap, but people who say you both have to want it are true. My last relationship i wanted to move out and he never!!!!! It didn't work, caused loadsa problems. So good luck and remember it isn't easy when you get your own place and you only really know someone when you have lived with them!!! xx
2006-10-18 01:36:09 · answer #7 · answered by Very Sexy Vixen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're ready, and he isn't, because you are two different people.
I doubt that he will ever be ready, if you don't light a fire under his toes. You can do that by telling him that you aren't getting what you want out of this relationship, and unless something changes, you're going to have to leave him, and find someone else.
Do not throw down an ultimatum like that, unless you are prepared to follow through. If keeping things as they are is preferable to leaving him, I suppose you need to simply get used to it.
2006-10-18 01:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Allen Montgomery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other poster. He wants to keep his options open. He has committed to you and spends almost every night with you BUT he still has his place to retreat to if he wants to.
It doesn't sound right to me. My now husband was all to eager to move in together. I think that when its right you just know and don't have any "I'm not ready" situations.
Good Luck
2006-10-18 01:25:49 · answer #9 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't say it's about anything but the size of the commitment. Moving in together basicly says, "we're getting married". then it says "I'm so off limits". It totally closes the door to anything. He may indeed love you but just not completly sure. Now that's nothing to do with you. He'll come around. Just don't ride him. Give him his time. What if the shoe was on your foot! He was ready to move in and you weren't. Would you want him to question you why not or just trust that you'll come around? He loves ya...just give him time.
2006-10-18 01:24:31 · answer #10 · answered by luvladyblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋