help a 22 year old x?

Question

Hey Guys,

This could be a tricky one cos its not really a questions as such. Im recently signed off work through depression due to the fact that Im 22 and have suffered 3 miscarriages all at 7 week. Ive been to see the doctor and he's trying to help me sort my head out again. Ive tried many ways to help including wine and narcitics but obviously their not working. Any suggestions on how to make me feel better?

xx

Answer 1

The only thing that ever makes me feel good, is accomplishment. Actually doing something in my life. Sports are a good way to constantly feel good about yourself. Try to get involved in a sport; it could be cycling, mountain climbing, or anything you like. Martial arts like Karate, Judo, and Taekwandoe are extremely good for self confidence. Try it, you may never feel depressed again. (At least, very little.) It worked for me.

Also, go out and make some new friends.. Life is much harder when you're alone all the time.

Answer 2

Hi becky - wow, no wonder youre depressed, you have a lot to deal with.

Please dont use drugs and / or booze - they will only numb the pain for a while, the real issues will still be there for you to face when you 'come down' from your high.

Youve made a good move asking the doctor to help get your head straight, however you need to see a proper councellor too. They will help you come to terms with your 3 miscarriages and show you a way to move forward in your life.

Something else that might help is a diagnosis from the doctor as to what caused your miscarriages, this will then give you a 'light at the end of the tunnel' so to speak and a way to avoid them (if possible) in future pregnancies.

Above all, take every day as it comes and deal with your problems on a 1 by 1 basis so as not to get overwhelmed. Good luck to you for the future. Much love, Beckie xx

Answer 3

Hi so sorry to hear that you have been through such an awful time I have friends who have been through the same thing and is very difficult to cope with. For different reasons I used to reach for the wine bottle to try and block things out as used to give me release from everything but then I realised it really does make you worse trust me stop drinking until you feel better, talk to someone either a friend or counsellor,writing down everything that you think and feel is a good form of self therapy and is cliche but exercise really does the trick I can promise after a week you will feel so much better.

Answer 4

i`ve been there,i had 4 miscarriges by the time i was 23. but i fell pregnant straight away after each miscarraige and have 4 kids. i have also suffered from very bad depression,it is really not nice and beleive me,drink and drugs are not the answer. i thought they were too but they are depressants and make you feel 10 times worse the next day!!!! give your body a rest for a while then try again! it won`t help drinking coz this can lead to losing a baby.you might be doing it but already be pregnant and not know you are.. get help and support from your family and friends.also ask your doctor if you can speak to a counsellor,it is great to talk to someone who doesn`t know you and won`t judge you!!! get everything off your chest and go for as long as it takes. in the mean time,join a gym,i know you won`t feel like it but you really do feel great afterwards.cut out the drink and drugs and build your confidence back up......i don`t mean to sound harsh but it is only you that can change your own life(i learnt that) you only live once,so live life to the full!!!! take care and if you need to talk,you know where i am.xx

Answer 5

It sounds like you are going through the greif process, and as a secondary result may be having some clinical depression.

Considering your recent experiences, this is totally natural and to be expected. I think you just need to work through the grieving over your lost pregnancies. You will go through denial, (the wine and etc.) anger, depression and then finally, acceptance.

I suggest you speak to a good therapist who can help you through all this. There is really no other way, no magic pill or mantra to chant to make you feel better. In the end you will be stronger for it and ready to move on.

Answer 6

Well i'm so sorry 2 hear that, i no exactly what you are going thru. i'm 21 and i have had 2 misscarrages at 3 months gone. it is shity, i turnd to drink and drugs to, i left my job and was extreamly depressed 4 ages, and your right it doesn't help, you never get over it, ever, but after you let go, it gets better, i looked at my life at the time i was pregnant and i thought, that isn't the life i wanted 4 my babies, because they deserve every thing, i felt so strong when i was pg, and wen that happend i never felt so weak, lonely or helpless, i never wanted some thing so bad in my life and i still don't, but thinking that when i'm at a stage in my life i no is right they'll come back 2 me, and i no they will, so i no it sounds corney but i wrote a poem 2 my babies, and i let go. I cryed alot, but i felt a bit better and i changed all the hurt it to determination to build a proper life, i no i'll be 1 of the best mums in the world because i'm already planing 4 thier return, they will come back to you, because you want them so badly, so please don't be depressed babe, it's hard and you have to do it in you own time, but let them go, give you mind, body and soul a break 4 a little bit, and u'll see. . . xxx

Answer 7

honeslty hun drink and drugs aint the answer, ive had a misscarriage so i kinda know how u feel but u have got to speak to ur doctor again and ask to be sent to a fertility clinic to be assessed as to why u keep miscarrying, but u really need to talk to friends and family about whats going on in ur head and im sure there are good websites that could maybe help u, good luck xx

Answer 8

Think back a few years and try to remember what one thing or place made you happiest. If you can find somewhere or something, go with some friends and do it or spend time there. The countryside and or beach always worked for me. Im very sorry for your losses and i hope you find some kind of peace soon. Good luck xx

Answer 9

Wine and narcotics are the last things you need, especially when taken together. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time, but I think your doctor needs to refer you to a counsellor. Reactive depression can be treated with pills, but they won't help you come to terms with what's happened long term.

Answer 10

Don't turn to artificial stimulants like wine and narcotics as their effect is short lived.
You have to come to terms with it yourself. You didn't do it on purpose something was wrong and made your pregnancies not meant to be. I'm so sorry you are in this situation but what ever you do wont bring it back. So try to face it and move on. That makes me sound hard but I don't think you have a choice if you want to get over it.