I have been going out with this man for a year and after a period of indecision he has now finally told me he doesn't love me. Then a day later he announces he is confused and he loves spending time with me, hanging out with me and physical part of the relationship. Is it worth having hope that this is going to work out even as he is contacting me all the time or it this just a waste of time?
2006-10-18 00:34:31 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is just using you for sex..Dump this scumbag ratbag NOW and get your self respect back.
2006-10-18 00:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means he's confused !!
Bottom line is it may or may not work out !
He doesn't want to say "I commit to you", he probably does actually love you but my guess is that the former is the scary thing and spending your life with someone can be pretty scary and not to be taken lightly. He probably wants to be honest and therefore cannot actually make the commitment and doesn't know how to express it hence the climb down from one day to the next.
My advice is take responsibility and if you love him be all you can be with him. Enjoy the journey, remember he likes spending time with you and this isn't just about the physical side, which I know is your worry. Really you girls worry too much about being used this is probably not the case especially after a year of being together !!
Creating drama and problems just because he won't commit yet will probably make him more suspicious and less likly to commit.
At some point you will know if he is never going to commit, but I suggest that you might need to be with him a bit longer before this happens, why not show him that he really ought to commit you by being extraordinary to him. You never know you might get what you give back in bundles and he may realise that hes on to a great thing and let you know it.
2006-10-18 01:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether it is a Man or a Woman, the answer is likely to come out the same (from what you have written).
I'd say that this relationship, from your point of view, is NOT what you want.
Wouldn't you?
'Confusion,' when it is genuine, is a positive (though we usually perceive it as a negative), it means that 'the person is re-evaluating their position' in light of updated information/s.
Some can use it as a smokescreen to their reality, or they can simply use it to buy time and / or prevaricate.
I suspect that although you enjoy the same parts of the relationship he enjoys, it is very much 'inadequate' for you.
If you agree, then you know what you have to do (for yourself).
Good Luck.
Sash.
2006-10-18 00:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To the lady who's in distress ...Alas i am in the exact predicament as you are. You have been with this respected person for a year. Surely by then, it is enough indication as to how he is feeling. May i kindly ask, how is this man? What sector does he work in. Sometimes this could be plying factors. Some men are phobic of taking that next step with one person. Or Monogamy does not exist in their mind. Simply meaning ...he is still thinking of exploring other areas ....thus not ready to commit. I think you should just laid it down. You don't want to be waiting for an answer. He's been with you for a year. He should clearly know what he wants and for you to be at ease and know where you stand.
2006-10-18 00:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by darkdealx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This confusion might lead to something bad. Ask yourself, why confused with love? It could be he's set his eyes on another girl and his love has just started decreasing and he's confused if the other girl could love him the way you do. He is undecided but the decision will come. He can't be your life partner with that confusion my dear. Let it go and time will heal the wounds coz its hard to part just like that. Thats not pure love.
2006-10-18 00:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by pinkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would say he is confused! Tell him you need time apart, and don't talk to him during this time! This will give him time to think about your relationship! He'll either miss you and realize he wants to be with you or realize this is not for him! I know this is a hard decision, but I promise it will be the best in the long run!
2006-10-18 00:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is confused - many men are scared of commitment and when they think they are going to be tied down they run - then change their minds. If I was you I would tell him that you need a week or two to think things through and that if he does want to see you again he must make some kind of commitment or you will find someone else. You need to make him realise that you are the best woman he is going to meet, but you also need to believe it too. Good luck
2006-10-18 01:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by feebee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi from a man about your man if he tells you he dose not love you he is not kidding after a year the honeymoon is over you know each other but until you live to together you wont relay know each other.all men enjoy physical part you don't need to be in love to enyoye sex.he is not confused give him a ultimatum (comet or go )so you can close and get on with your life
2006-10-18 02:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by glen p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this were me then I would tell him I needed a break from him to make my own mind up. a month shuld do it, if he feels after that time he still loves you then try again but work out some ground rules. Honesty and respect are the first two. Both of you make a list of likes and dislikes about each other and discuss them. cross them off if the answers are given if not weigh up which comes out on top 'likes' or 'dislikes' and the answer will stare you in the face.
good luck.
2006-10-18 00:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt mean anything ... He's suggesting ... MOVE ON , WOMAN !!
OR
His favourite team lost ... and he cant get over it ....
OR
Maybe hes really confused what to choose between you . and LIFE ...or someone else
So better Leave him and Find yourself a better man... A MAN OF COMMITMENT that is
2006-10-18 00:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying he is confused is the biggest excuse going!
Move on babe.....he will soon know what he is missing and then if he comes crawling back play hard to get until you are satisfied with him and how he definately feels about ya.
Life is to short, if you feel its not what you want deep down....get out of it.
2006-10-18 00:49:39 · answer #11 · answered by KLW 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋