How do i let her down gently? Cause as little hurt as possible?

Question

I have been seeing my girlfriend claire for just over 3 months and think the world of her....but i dont think it will work

We have many differences - i live the other side of town and apart from my job i have a lot of spare time - she is busy constantly with college work, coursework, other work, friends and family - i see her only once a week because basically i am at the back of the list, which i dont mind but all things considered, we are very different, although we have never said a harsh word to each other which is a good thing i try so hard to make conversation with her, but she is always tired or stressed out with other pressures.

I told her how i felt the other day which made her start crying - i couldnt bring myself to dump her outright, i would really hate to hurt her because she is a great girl - just not right for me.

Im out of ideas....any thoughs?

Answer 1

sorry no idea

Answer 2

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel
They're tearing it down now
But it's just as well
I haven't shown you everything a man can do
So stay with me baby
I've got plans for you

This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life
It was some kind of miracle that I survived
Some day we will both look back
And have to laugh
We lived through a lifetime
And the aftermath
This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
Cause we won't
Although we want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
I know we've got to move somehow
But I don't want to lose you know

Sometimes it's so easy
To let a day
Slip on by
Without even seeing each other at all
But this is the time you'll turn back and so will I
And those will be the days you can never recall

And so we embrace again
Behind the dunes
This beach is cold
On winter afternoons
But holding you close is like holding the summer sun
I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
But we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
But now I need the rest of you

Answer 3

Honesty is always the best policy and I think the longer you leave this the harder it will be and the more she will be hurt. Tell her just what you have said here - that she is a great girl, but that you are two different people and you feel it won't work. You can also say that maybe she will have more time for a relationship when she finishes her studying and that there will be lots of blokes out there who will jump at the chance - a bit of flattery if you like to soften the blow. She probably cried when you spoke to her because she is stressed and tired. Good luck, hope it works out.

Answer 4

This is a situation where you must tell her to her face. Arrange to take her to a quiet pub and tell her that although you think the world of her, this relationship is not working the way you would like it to. tell her the reasons why as you have listed and that maybe in the future things may be different. (if that's how you feel)
Don't string it out. of course she will be upset but the important thing is make sure you take her home, even if she storms out, go after her and tell her you need to know that she will get home safe and that you are going to see to it she does because you care.
Good luck and be strong but caring. whether you see her in the future is in your hands!.

Answer 5

Ending a relationship is never easy - especially if you've not been rowing or are not angry with each other. If you want to end things with her, you have to prepare for a few tears because it is upsetting and hurtful for her but if you believe this is the best thing to do, you have to just do it because it will be better in the long run.

However, does this relationship really have to end? It sounds to me like you care for this girl and have a lot of respect for her. Could you not talk to her and ask her to make some more time for you?

Answer 6

you sound like a very caring guy BUT you know what no matter what she is gonna be hurt just be honest that can cut down on the amount of hurt it always sucks when you have to tell someone that is a great person bad news it would be easier if she were a ***** huh well good luck to you hope it all works out

Answer 7

I know how hard this is,but you simply have to tell her as soon as possible.It's not fair to keep going when you feel this way.I think a straight forward honest approach is best.Tell her it has nothing to do with her personally,its just you right now.Tell her she'll always have a place in your heart,and maybe someday ,in the future,you can be together.Whats meant to be,will be.I truly believe in fate,and who knows what will happen tomorrow!Good luck

Answer 8

If you think the relationship won't work then you must tell her and not let it linger on and on. It will be more painful if you don't do it quickly. I know how you feel and I feel for you as well as her because I realise it's not an easy thing to do and I feel you are a person with sensitivity otherwise you wouldn't bother asking this question. You will probably feel a little down when you do also but in time you both will get on with your lives and hopefully you may remain friends. That will depend on how mature you both are.
Good luck and do what you must.

Answer 9

you say you dont want to hurt her by sounds of it you are the one getting hurt (must say you are a great guy for telling her out straight how you feel) (not to many guys to that ) have things changed wit her since you told her ,,, if not then i think you should call it a day you sound like a nice guy and deserve better ,, good luck

Answer 10

it can work out if you really want it to. faith can move mountains. but if you feel there is no chance better to end it now than let it fester like an open wound<<<<< thats what guilt feels like. tell her straight that its best to go your seperate ways. be trurthful upfront and honest.

word of caution don't let your mates coerce you into doing it by email or text i:e ur dumped!. they won't have her father chasing after them but you will. above all be respectful but firm.

Answer 11

you've only been with her 3 months do you want her to spend every minute with you - you'd soon get fed up with that. explain to her that you understand she is busy but you need more time together to make it work to see if things are going the right way. give that ago, if there is no joy then break up with her.