2006-10-17 23:15:41 · 25 answers · asked by dallasfan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If I had to say yes or no then I guess I would say no.
However, I have been through a divorce, my kids were 4 and 5, now they are 7 and 8 and if I had known then what I know now I would have stayed for them. I was married for seven years,only happy the first two. My husband knew I wasn't really happy but it was kinda like a mutual understanding. Neither of us actually said it but we were only together because of the kids. When I finally decided to divorce him it was a surprise to my kids because we never faught, they had no idea we were unhappy. It was extremely hard on both of them and although it has gotten better they are not the same little boys they once were. I am remarried now and their dad is getting married this weekend as a matter of fact and they have excepted it and they love my husband and I'm sure they love his new bride but I know they would rather us be together. I love my kids with all my heart and likeI said, if I knew then what I know now, yes I would scrifice my happines for theirs, if you think about it I sacrificed theirs for mine when I got the divorce.
2006-10-18 00:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by girlfromflorida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Let's see...unless the kids are stupid, they're going to at least sense that things are not happy....no matter how well you act otherwise.
So, you stay in a marriage where you're miserable, and you teach children what? Marriage is miserable? Good lesson. Or being the angry one gets you what you want? Gee..that one has value too.
They aren't going to appreciate the "sacrifice". Kids just want to have a good childhood, and not have to deal with anyone's drama but their own.
Let's say you're a good actor..and the kids don't know you're both miserable...do you wait until their 18 and then tell them, "we've never been happy and now we're getting a divorce"? Congratulations...from their perspective their entire life has been a lie.
Just do what you need to do....don't make them be the referees or the instrument of punishment...and move on.
2006-10-17 23:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No most certianly not.
Children see, and feel more than what meets the eye. A child can pick up on tension, hostility, and any other negative feeling; even if nothing is being said.
Down the road the children will use the type of behavior they had witnessed growing up, and use it to in their own lives. And we all like to think that we are doing a good job raising our children, even in bad situations... sometimes the things we dont say, or do... still take a tremendous effect on kids... which could very well be devistating later on in their life, and maybe yours as well.
2006-10-17 23:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by llsoinlovell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT! I tried this and I have seen others try this and it NEVER works out. If parents are good parents...they will be good parents even from separate households. Couples that stay together for the sake of the children are actually giving the kids a false sense of security and your living a lie. KEEP IT REAL PEOPLE!!!
2006-10-18 01:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know people who have done just that. It didnt work because the children were eventually affected anyway by the arguments and general bad atmosphere. My parents divorced when i was 12 and i think it was the best thing, i didnt want to grow up in the middle of a war. Eventually they met other people and became very happy. If you can be mature about it and remember that it is for the kids then maybe it could work.
2006-10-17 23:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It's for the kids sake that they should separate. The children will ultimately suffer so if the marriage isn't working end it and be done with it.
2006-10-17 23:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, no, i think that staying in a loveless marriage is just as bad for yr kids as it is for u. y should u let yr kids grow up knowing that it is ok to hurt one another depending on who is hurting the other. kids grow up seeing their parents unhappy and that affects them, if things are not okey then leave the marriage for the seek of yr kids and u. there will be time for u 2 explain 2 them y things did'nt work out between the 2 of u.yr happiness matters just like yr kids happiness.i beleive that if a mother is happy then her kids will grow up to be happy kids and responsible.
2006-10-18 00:56:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, i did that myself. I thought i was doing the right thing for the kids. In truth it made their lives hell. They are adults now, and sometimes this subject comes up. I thought i was the only one suffering, when in reality they hurt more that i ever knew. I don't know your problems, but if there is yelling and fighting get out. I does effect your children. Mine were 10 and 4 when i divorced. And like i said they suffered along with me.
2006-10-18 01:15:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why people even ask these types of questions on here. These types of questions have to answered by self evaluation. By posting them you are asking help from the general public. As we all know there are some crazy a@s people out there. You may be getting advice from some huge dike who wants nothing more than to turn as many women as they can to the dark side. Ofcourse they're going to say "leave the bastard" Give me a freaking break people.
2006-10-17 23:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Most kids can handle divorce a lot better than the media would lead you to believe... and a person doesn't need two parents to live a reasonable life. I was raised by my mother alone (well.. I had a younger brother too) ... no father... and I was just fine with that.
2006-10-17 23:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋