my 6 year old son is.....?

Question

my 6 yr old boy currently my 3rd out of 5 kids throws fits when at the mall and the bathroom he screams and the men in the bathroom looked at me and smiled trying to keep their laughs in....he is embarrsing and im not the soft dad type i dont say awww the baby wet the bed come here...i dont say that i say clean this mess up it stinks then i grab the kid and take him to another room......what should i do to stop this i've tried everything from spanking to time-outs at the mall where everybody will see him my wife doesnt spank the kids but i do....what should i do about the boy? my wife says he might be confused in the bathroom becoz so many ppl are watching him in line to the stall help!!

i spank him lightly thx very much....the kid only wet his bed 4 yr \s ago wen he was 2 then if not spanking or time-outs what then!!??? his siblings are behaved and more masculine(really boyish) he doesnt get molested at all because i c him peeing in a private stall he is not the masculine type really i think he is gay ..i know a psychologist is OK but other then that what? he only has 1 sister the one after him who is 3 yrs old

Answer 1

tough one.

At 6 he is old enough to know whats ok and whats not so maybe its worth trying a reward system.
I've tried the stars thing but found my son lost interest so I sat him down and asked him what he wanted....of course it was lollies and toys....we started with something small that he could earn in a day then worked it up to earning it over a week then something bigger he earnt over a month,
He also liked the idea of buying it himself so every time he did the right thing we put money in the jar ... the more often he did the right thing the faster the money built up and once it got to be enough so he could buy the thing he wanted we took him to get it. After the first time he decided the second thing he wanted was a wallet to put all his money in.

If he did the wrong thing we didnt take money away but we would make sure he understood that it was now gonna take longer to get what he wanted...make him wait that extra day.

Pick your fights too...if he wants to pee in the privacy of a cubical let him. To avoid lines I usually take my kids in the disabled loo. lines only increase the risk that we wont make it before they have an accident. I've only ever had one person complain about it and once I pointed out that kids cant always hold they got over it.

Also (i will shut up in a sec) get him to pee at home before you go to the store. Put your foot down and refuse to leave til he goes.
at first it will take awhile but he will get the picture eventually you just have to be consistant.

good luck....by the way..i spank too

Answer 2

First of all, I don't think their is anything wrong with spanking your children. People spanked or swatted their children for centuries before this whole "ground and take away stuff from your children" thing started. I was whipped when I was young and it did me good, I'm not saying I was spanked for every little thing but when I was I fully deserved it. I would tell them in no uncertain words that screaming and throwing fits rude & is not allowed and is not the way to get what you want. If he continues then spank him & tell him he isn't allowed to go if he keeps this up. Do not let him get away with it and "ignore" it, most of the time it other makes them louder and more obniouxs.

Answer 3

The fact that you are not the soft dad type is making your son do that. Spanking and getting angry makes kids nervous and afraid of going to the toilet, so they don't get it right. Lighten up and have patience. The more patience you have, the quickest he'll outgrow it. Keep in mind that no grown up has problems using the loo, your son will learn too - when he's ready. At the moment, you stop him from getting there. Don't make him feel this is a big deal.

Answer 4

I took my son to the ladies public bathroom until he was 8.The reason for this was because he was too scared to go to the men`s one on his own.One day when i got home i told him nicely that he needs start going to the men`s bathroom as he was now a big boy.He`s 9 now and i`ve been rewarding him by telling him he`s a good boy if he goes on his own while i wait outside.Maybe ur son needs a little time,don`t spank the poor child as this will make things worse.

Answer 5

These actions would appear to mainly be to get attention. I'm not sure where he feels he is deprived of attention, but that's where I would start.

Child psychologist would be a good idea. He may outgrow this.

Middle children are often the ones with the most problems.

Spanking probably isn't helping. Time-outs probably not either. I would try leaving him home if that's practical. Let him earn the privilege of going to the mall.

Bed wetting could be a medical problem. I would avoid overreacting and try not to discipline him when you are angry.

Answer 6

When my son was 6 he refused to go to public bathrooms.

Try to take him to bathrooms where you can close the door and have some privacy. Yelling at him or threatening him probably doesn't do any good. If others are laughing at him, maybe he thinks this is funny and he's too young to understand that he is humiliating himself and you.

Next time, try to start a conversation about something he is interested in before you enter the bathroom and keep the conversation going as long as you can. Maybe that would take his mind off whatever it is he finds disturbing about public bathrooms.

Answer 7

Stop, stop spanking your son. To him the bathroom represents a nightmare, so maybe your wife should take him in the women's bathroom until he gets over this. Are you sure he has not been molested? You need to take him to a counselor. I do not think this is natural. Does he wet the bed? Are you spanking him over it? You need counseling and stop spanking him over bathroom stuff. Shame on you.

Answer 8

Err yes and no. Yes kids at that age are still about exploring each other, and they do like to play doctor. However with all these pedophiles out there, and kids learning about sex acts a lot younger these days, it could be cause for concern. I'd sit them down and ask them if anyone has touched them without their permission, see what they say, if they say yes, then your son needs counselling big time, same with your nephew. If they werent molested they're just curious which is normal. I'd cut down on the sleepovers with them for now, and if they do sleep over, i think just to be on the safe side, one of them needs to sleep elsewhere to avoid this happening in the future.

Answer 9

>>i've tried everything from spanking to time-outs at the mall where everybody will see him my wife doesnt spank the kids but i do....<<


I think perhaps a lack of consistancly may be the problem.

Answer 10

my daughter is also the same.We should not yell at them.bed wetting is normal until 12yrs.Few kids behave like that.my son who is only 3yrs is much more well behaved than my daughter who is 6yrs.he doesnt bed wet.its our child so be supportive and help them to become normal.please dont scold him but love him.