Do I confront In Laws?

Question

Me and my husband got married a couple of months ago and I have 2 kids from previous relationship and we have one of our own. I got upset because there are no photos of me or my eldest 2 kids with my in laws but loads of hubby and baby with them.I got upset and angry and told hubby which caused a row.He said it doest matter but everything has changed between us and in laws now.He is a real mummys boy and cant understand why im upset.I dont know wether to forget it or have it out once and for all? He says no because they can get shitty when confronted and we have o keep the peace.What do i do?

Answer 1

I always think it's best to do what you feel is right, they are you're children and if you think they are being treated unfairly then ask them why they don't have any photos of the whole family. If they don't like it tough. You are their mother and if you don't stick up for them then no one will. As far as your husband saying they don't like getting confronted - so what is he a man or a mouse, tell him it's time to let go of the apron strings and to stand up and be counted. If you don't say anything it will fester away inside of you and then you might just explode one day and the effects of that will be so much worse. Pick your words carefully and tell them you feel hurt that they are segregating the family and making a difference between the kids and you don't want that, you are married to their son not them, you do what you think is right. All the best, take care and good luck.

Answer 2

I can understand how hurtful it feels but I think in this case it's pointless making an issue of it. You can't change your inlaws feelings and maybe it hadn't even accurred to them to put pictures up. Confronting them about it is likely to create bad feeling and achieve nothing positive. They wouldn't want to feel forced to put photos up. When your inlaws become more used to seeing you and your other kids as part of the family unit they make well stick photos up in their own time when it feels right for them. If you really can't let the matter go you could perhaps get portraits done of you and your kids and give one to your inlaws as a gift? Or perhaps take some recent photos around and casually suggest to them they might like to put one up? If you approach the issue in a casual, nonconfrontational way it's likely to achieve far better results as no one will feel criticised.

Answer 3

I married a mummies boy-she was awful I had to ask her to stop buying his clothes-she always made excuses even when he hit me-He used to scream at them and me,but that was ok cos he was stressed-Oh please needless to say he's now my ex-
However the only way you can win is to keep quiet about anything that upsets you-cos they will all lock forces against you-don't give them any ammunition
-bake cakes when they visit-be the doting wife and use avoidance tactics but smile sweeetly
Think of it as you are playing a game and they don't even know that you are-

I take great pleasure in thinking about my ex-his mum,dad and aunty all stuck around the same dinner table eating the same xmas dinner without me or my children there-while we will be having fun.

good luck.

Answer 4

In my undertaking, my in rules are the intense high quality ones and my stepmother is the undertaking. yet i can actual sympathize with you. i don't sense that i can rather initiate a conflict because of the fact she is my youngster's grandmother (my mom died an prolonged time in the past) and that i don't sense gentle reducing her out of their lives. So what I truthfully have carried out is to speak approximately it with sympathetic family contributors, friends and likewise my therapist, all of which helps. and that i purely attempt to pass on with my existence as though she wasn't in it. She constantly has a remark approximately each and every thing I do or say, yet slowly i'm getting greater advantageous at allowing it to bathe over me devoid of soaking up it. This makes it harm rather much less each and every time. terrific needs to you, notwithstanding you come back to a determination.

Answer 5

You have only been married a few months. You knew he was a momma's boy when you married him. How did he treat your other 2 kids before you got married? I think you need to talk to your husband about how you feel calmly. I do not see how comfronting his family is going to solve anything. You should let your husband know how you feel

Answer 6

Tell your husband that he took you and your two children on as a package so therefore he should should show a united front with you to his parents. suggest to him that you feel used as yu feel he just married you to give them a grandchild. if he answers that he didn't then he must prove it to you by confronting his parents and telling them that if they can't exept you and yur first two children then they can't have any of the children around. don't allow them to take individual photos and certainly dont give them any. in futere all photos are of the five of you or none at all. that's how I resolved my problem, they didn't like it at first but came to realise they can't have one without the other. hand in there it will work out.

Answer 7

yes u should, but don't do it in a angry way maybe they don't even notice that they don't have aphoto and it will take time 4 Ur kids 2 be accepted, but don't do it all guns blazing especially if hubby is amammys boy he just side with her, why don't u give them anice family pic 4 apressy,if they don't put it out then all guns blazing u have problem!!!

Answer 8

Hi sorry to hear of your troubles, if it were me id buy one of those picture frames that can have lots of little pics in them like a gallery, and id put in pics of all of your children, you, your husband and your in laws then give it to them as a gift and see what sort of reaction you get and see if they put it on display.It could be they are not sure of how you feel about them treating your kids like their grand children, may be they are afraid of causing difficulties for you and your kids with your past family.Hope all works out for you.

Answer 9

cool it babes, dont make an issue out of an non -issue..peace or war all begins with u..how does it matter whether they have the pics or not.....u will ruin a good relationship over petty issues.....learn to get over things which can be ignored and stick like a rock to things which cannot.If u get over the pics thing then start teh war and be prepared for its consequences..dont cry later on......else have peace within ur self first by accepting it and then the external situation wont matter to u....

Answer 10

Why wold you b e upset. After all its their house, and your previous kids are not part of their family. Are they mean to them? If not, just be happy that they love your child and at least have a picture up. My in laws have no pictures up, in their house and my kids are their only grandbabies. Yes it boters me, specially because i always send them nice portraits of my kids. I used to send them pictures of my kids all the time. Now i dont, if they dont care to put them up, I am not spending a penny more sending them pictures(they live overseas) I emailed them blocked pictures so een if they tried they cant print them out. MIght be a little mean but its my little way of getting them back. Theres no pictures of them in my livingroom either.