My fiance and I are planning on getting married December/2007. My wish is to have my oldest brother walk me down the aisle, since our parents pasted away years ago. The problem is, he currently resides with his wife and two kids in Australia. I live in Chicago, IL. The only time they would be able to come here is during the winter, near Christmas. Several people I've talked to say don't get married near the holidays. Supposedly because the vendors will be stressed and more expensive, family and friends will be stretched money-wise, and (not that it matters) they say we will receive little to no gifts. Please tell me what you guys think.
2006-10-17 21:29:26 · 23 answers · asked by silvastar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all , Rivers_mom, I am thinking of others, thats why I asked this question! Calling me selfish makes you look stupid, like you didn't understand the question. So do me a favor and keep your answers to yourself.
2006-10-17 23:12:09 · update #1
My brother can only come at that ime of the year because of his job. He's a dean at one of the university's there, and like girl_from_oz stated in her answer, that is when they're on summer break. We have to work around the time that he and his family is off work, and out of school.
2006-10-17 23:15:39 · update #2
No one said anything about my brother paying for any type of airfare or travel expenses for him or his family. If he's coming here for me, obviously he wouldn't have to get here out of his pocket. The question isn't about that anyway. It's about the time of year!
2006-10-17 23:24:28 · update #3
It is basically the most busy season when it comes to weddings as far as catering halls, etc but you could check with the catering hall you are going to - if you are planning on one - and ask them what date would be the least popular one..some dates are more popular then others which means more money and some dates - people just do not want. My answer mentions both the cost to you in this month and others as well as the concern of it being a bad time of year for the guests.
Also, some places have smaller rooms which cost less or if you have your event at the same time as someone else there but in another room it can even cost less - menus, beverages, etc - all of those also effect the price.
I don't think that people would give you less for gifts - maybe some but it is one of the top two times to get married- the other being in summertime with Valentines as the third - most likely. So - if it was so bad, people wouldn't always be getting married at that time of year - you know? Talk to the caterer- different ones.. get prices on different days - early Jan vs late and early Dec etc...
Why can't they come at another time of year exactly?? That is sweet that your older brother will be walking you down the aisle.. sorry to hear about your parents - that is sad. I am sure this could work out - Just know in advance that you have to book a hall for the winter - escpecially around Christmas well in advance - even now there may be little to no dates - it is the most popular time. The other answers saying it is not are totally incorrect - sorry to say.. it is in the top 2 if not the most popular time of year to get married. Though, I think June is #1 - December is right there as well. For your expenses, June would be the most out of pocket on your end - this is why asking for the least popular dates in a month is good. Also - ** day weddings are cheaper than nighttime events at catering halls.
Often, relatives are already visiting for the holidays so sometimes, travel is cheaper since they are already there. A gift is not that much that people would be so put out - they have time to save a few hunded when they get the invitation - for most people, that would be no problem at all - it is not selfish in any way shape or form - it is a happy time of year for families and celebration and a wedding is a perfect way to share that as well at this time.
Overall though, having your brother walk you down the aisle is a memory that will last forever and in the end be more important than the amount of gifts that you receive - though gifts are nice.. why don't you call some of those closest to you in your family and ask how they would feel about it -though it shouldn't matter - they are family and should be there and bring you nice gifts on your day - see if you can do early December.. or even the end of November - maybe your brother has some time off then.. maybe even early January.. People also get in the spirit of giving at this time of year so maybe it really is not a bad time at all...
Congratulations & good luck with the wedding - hope it all works out for you! :o)
2006-10-17 21:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
There are both pros and cons to getting married then. You may save on decorations since your ceremony site will already be decorated for the holidays.
It's also somewhat off-season for weddings, so that may provide some savings as well (although some caterers and vendors, you're right, will have holiday business).
If your brother is one of the most important people to you, you are right to plan it when he can attend. Think of who the REALLY important people are to you and plan it around them.
Gifts are entirely beside the point-- anyone who is getting married for the gifts is pathetic and sad.
Once you decide on your date and finalize your guest list, make sure you send a Save the Date message to everyone on your guest list-- that will help them plan their holiday parties/travels around your wedding day.
2006-10-18 10:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only downside is that you may not get as many of your loved ones to attend. The holiday makes a lovely wedding theme and what better to celebrate with than a wedding. I say go for it. Those who can't afford should decline and you can still have a great day. Just send the invitations out way in advance so people can decide for themselves.
2006-10-20 06:43:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a lovely idea to have your wedding when your brother can be there. What you should be doing is looking at ways to save money for the wedding, or save money ON the wedding. Having this much time to plan should definately help. When my husband and I got married, we started buying things far in advance and looking for what we liked and what we could afford. This was much better than purchasing everything exactly 6 months prior.
2006-10-18 08:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by calliope320 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people in Oz do have their holidays over Christmas & often dont have a choice as many businesses close down for up to 4 weeks from Christmas eve! Remember its our summer break.
Get a firm commitment from your brother with an exact time frame & plan your wedding as far away from the USA hols as possible.
You may have low attendance if people are travelling over the break but you may be OK if you can have it in January.
2006-10-17 21:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by girl from oz 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I say go for it... Me and my fiance are going to get married on Dec 23 of this year... Who cares if its around the holidays...I think its more romantic!!! Dont listen to others..... I dont think your being selfish....So again go for the Dec wedding the reason me and my Fiance are doing it is because he is in the army and that's he only time he can come down... So good luck with everything and congrats!!
2006-10-18 07:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and get married anytime you lik, it shouldnt matter what time of year it is! my cousin got married the week before xmas, the wedding was fantastic, there was snow, she got to wear a stunning dress with a kinda coat thing over it, the hall looked great as it had not only wedding decoration but also a hug xmas tree and it didnt cause any extra expense for the guests as everyone had an outfit for xmas anyway and they would have bought a present at any time of the year didnt matter when. hop eyou have a great day and remember it forever!
2006-10-18 01:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If that's the only time they can come then you'll have to get married in December if you want your brother walk you down the aisle. Actually, in my country, people like to get married in December because that's when they have the most money. January is the "poor" month.
2006-10-17 21:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by No-ni-nu 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your doing it Dec next year look for your wedding location and reception location now and book it...The closer you get the harder it will be to find a place...Some places book 1 1/2 years ahead of time...Also vendors, caterers book far in advance with the holidays...
2006-10-17 22:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with those several people, they do have a point. It is not easy to be planning a wedding for the holidays when everybody at one point becomes stressed because of the holiday rush. I do not know much but planning a wedding is enough stress on its own and unless you are willing to handle the stress of both the wedding and the holiday season, go ahead with your wedding. After all it is your wedding. Whichever decision you make, make sure that in the end , you enjoy your wedding. Good luck!
2006-10-17 21:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by Sabre 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋